Oopsie. What has gross slug and former Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour done to subvert justice this time? Oh, basically a reverse-cowgirl of the time Michael Dukakis furloughed Willie Horton, but this time by pardoning a drunk driver for his third offense while he was in jail for killing a girl during his fourth.
[After his three previous DUIs,] on October 7, [Harry] Bostick was driving under the influence again, according to the Mississippi Highway Patrol. Charity Smith attempted to pull out onto a highway just outside Tupelo when Bostick’s truck slammed into the side of her car, the patrol says.
Smith was killed, and her older sister suffered serious injuries. Bostick was jailed for violating his probation from his previous DUI cases. [...]
When he received the pardon in January [for his third offense], the convicted DUI felon still sat in an Oxford, Mississippi, jail cell, awaiting formal charges for the arrest tied to that case.
Did you hear that California — the Golden Dream by the Sea — is having a wee little problem with its economy? What happened was a million years ago some proto-Grover Norquists made it impossible to ever raise taxes in the state, both by requiring a two-thirds supermajority in the Lege and by mandating that property taxes could never go up ever. Then, on top of that, Arnold Schwarzenegger took a ballpeen hammer to a car to symbolize SMASHing the Vehicle License Fee, and whoops! The very next year, California was in the red by … the exact same amount it had foregone in Vehicle License Fees! But everybody got $134 back to go spend at Wal-Mart, so good trade! This has been a problem for California, because it is no longer able to pay for things like world-class educational systems that used to draw people to it, but obviously, all current and historic budget shortfalls are Jerry Brown’s fault because he used to be a hippie, and did you know also Al Gore invented the Internet? Haw haw haw.
Anyhoo, now Jerry Brown has announced additional cuts to education and services (he has been pretty Austere already) and also plumped for an infinitesimal rise in the sales tax, and three percent more in income taxes for Facebook founders. How did he do this? In a YOUTUBE. And that makes him just like Evita Peron. Don’t cry for him, Sacramento, etc.
Here is Dana Perino, blahing about it on Fox News: READ MORE »
Mississippi Rep. Lester “Bubba” Carpenter is so happy with the “progress” that ensued when Governor Phil Bryant passed a law to ensure that Mississippi abortion providing doctors have admitting privileges at hospitals (shortly after signing the bill into law, Bryant announced that the Democrats’ “one mission in life is to abort children”). To Bubba, this is an example of a sneaky and effective way that states can get rid of legal abortion without having to overturn Roe v. Wade! NO ONE WILL EVEN NOTICE. And the ladies can still get abortions at home using hangers and things, it will be great. Speaking in Alcorn County last week, Carpenter told the supportive crowd, “[L]iterally, we stopped abortion in the state of Mississippi, legally, without having to– Roe vs. Wade. So we’ve done that. I was proud of it. The governor signed it into law. And of course, there you have the other side. They’re like, ‘Well, the poor pitiful women that can’t afford to go out of state are just going to start doing them at home with a coat hanger.’ That’s what we’ve heard over and over and over. But hey, you have to have moral values.” BUT HEY! READ MORE »
We thought it was pretty special last week when Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty killed a civil union bill dead by fleeing the chamber and never coming back. But the goddamn zombie civil union bill ROSE FROM THE DEAD when the stupid governor ordered the Lege into a special session to vote on it and other important things that got hung up by McNulty’s clever plan of running away so no one could vote. So what has he done to finally drive a stake through the heart of these icky legal protections for homosexual families? Well, he decreed that the session would only last three days, and that bill, which had passed through three committees already? Well, we’d best see what objections the Committee on Veterans and Military Affairs might have to people visiting their dying same-sex partners in the hospital! READ MORE »
Hey, fun exercise: imagine nine people getting together to talk about tiny little gadgets that were invented specifically to cause agonizing pain, and figure out the parameters of who is allowed to use them on you, and in what context? Sounds awesome, right? Now, what if one of these nine people were, say, Antonin Scalia, and the arguments gave him the opportunity to use the phrase “useful pain technique,” probably while laughing uproariously? EVEN BETTER, right? This is happening, right now, as the Supreme Court considers the case of three cops who tased a seven-months-pregnant lady over a traffic ticket, while her horrified son watched!
James O’Keefe has a new video, you guys, and it is super-exciting because it shows how those horrible Ivy Tower LIEBERALS at the University of North Carolina didn’t fink on a “Democrat-friendly election fraud scheme” of a kid voting for both Romney and Gingrich! Huh? What it says, dudes.
The first part of the video is about foreign-born people registering to vote but then getting out of jury duty by saying they weren’t citizens. Are they? It is impossible to tell (unless James O’Keefe actually wanted to go dig through microfilm, and that is not something an investigative journalist does)! Anyway, here is the more befuddling part of the befuddling video: GOP kids bragging about double-voting GOP, which is obviously Democrat election fraud, DUH. READ MORE »
Did the commonwealth of Virginia kill the judicial nomination of Tracy Thorne-Begland because he was gay? DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! No, it is just because as a gay naval officer he was outspoken against Don’t Ask Don’t Tell! And also because he acts like he is married … to a man!
“He holds himself out as being married,” said Del. Robert G. Marshall (R-Prince William), who is running for U.S. Senate. Noting that gay marriage is not legal in Virginia, he said that Thorne-Begland’s “life is a contradiction to the requirement of submission to the constitution.”
You know what the difference is between America’s elite, the 1 percenters and the fast-rising politicians, and slobs like you? Planning. Like, you, for instance, have no plans for the day, and are trying to relieve the ennui by reading a blog about dick jokes and politics, and maybe later you’ll try masturbating or something, and then after that you’ll probably cry spontaneously, in public, which will be embarrassing, because you didn’t plan some solitary cry-time. But John Edwards! John Edwards had it all planned out! First he was going to be president, then vice president, then president again — we all knew that! But fun under-oath testimony this week revealed that then he planned to be vice president again, and when that didn’t work out, decided he’d be Attorney General for a bit and then move on over to the Supreme Court, where he’d have a cool job for life. And it all would have worked if his crazy slut of a mistress had only planned to not have his child! (Oh, he also called his mistress a “crazy slut,” by the way).
American democracy’s most persistent old fart Ron Paul has announced that he no longer cares for democracy per se in the traditional sense of trying to “win votes” from “voters,” because this is a hard thing to do, when your platform is mostly insane. “We will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states that have not yet voted,” sayeth Doctor Congressman Paul, who will instead focus henceforth on a cheaper alternative to never not running for president, that of trying to stir up shit at state nominating conventions by pilfering delegates that he will ransom for a speaking spot or some other sexy consolation prize at the RNC convention in Tampa. Video of said shit being stirred, after the jump! READ MORE »
It seems the TSA has taken a break from the hard work of molesting babies and congressmen and little girls with degenerative spinal diseases and poor Geraldo Rivera, and has turned its attentions instead to actually dangerous old men. How dangerous? Well, dude has been known to order the deployment of a bomb here, a secret assassination there. Frankly, we can’t understand why this terrorist is allowed to fly at all! READ MORE »
What does Irma Schimel think of her son, Mark, who is now the GOP candidate to beat his three-term Assemblywoman wife, Michelle, from whom he separated last year after 32 years of wedded bliss? Apparently Irma Schimel thinks her son Mark is an asshole.
“You’re joking,” Irma Schimel said when she learned of her son’s plans by the Daily News. “This is a really startling thing. It’s a shock. Why would he do this?”
It is a sad day when you realize a child you bore and raised would run for Assembly against the mother of his own two children. (Whom you assure reporters will beat him handily.) But at least he and the GOP promise it will be a “dignified, issue-oriented” campaign! And did they mention classy? Cause it will be!
Frank Moroney, the North Hempstead town GOP chairman, admitted there were concerns the race could degenerate into a bitter, personal battle, but insisted the GOP leaders urged him several times to keep it classy.
“One of the things we made clear is we want this to be a very dignified, issue-oriented campaign,” Moroney said.
Just when we were feeling that the 2012 election cycle seemed suspiciously light on mentally unstable long shot candidates, Mother Jones brings us a delightful little profile of Minnesota GOP congressional candidate Allen Quist, whom queen lunatic Michele Bachmann recently endorsed while noting that in her opinion, the former state representative is a man of “intellectual firepower.” *RUBS HANDS.* Oh good, let’s start with some of Quist’s prior accomplishments: “During his time as a state representative, Quist…went undercover at an adult bookstore and a gay bathhouse in an effort to prove to a local newspaper reporter that they had become a ‘haven for anal intercourse.’” Sounds promising! READ MORE »
It has been over a month since a crazed member of the Tea Party has Swift Boated a double-amputee Iraq veteran. Luckily, Minnesota state Rep. Mary Kriffmeyer has reset the GOP’s workplace-accident clock, with a fragging of fellow Republican John Kriesel! She mad! Why? Because he pushed through this ridiculous (and broadly unpopular) Vikings stadium deal that apparently has turned “Minnesota Nice” into “Mary Kriffmeyer.”
Mary Kriffmeyer, who is running for state Senate, did not take kindly to a sweetheart stadium deal being rammed down Minnesota’s throats like so much cock, and said so! This caused veteran Kriesel, who lost both legs in The Iraq, to snipe:
Force it through? C’mon Mary. You can disagree with the bill but don’t lie about it.
Whereupon Kiffmeyer responded:
Not only no clue but no courage to run again and be accountable and see what your district thinks.
Scott Fitzgerald, Wisconsin Senate leader and gross bestie of semi-Governor Scott Walker, is facing some competition in his senate campaign — FROM A WOMAN! It’s scary, but it’s true. Lori Compas, who currently works as a photographer and writer, is running in Fitzgerald’s district in an effort to get rid of Walker and his cronies in the June 5 recall election. Fitzgerald may be worried, but it’s only because he believes lil’ Lori isn’t doing a thing in her campaign, rather, it’s being run by her husband, a geography professor, and by “unions and protest groups.” “I don’t for one minute believe she is the organizing force behind this whole thing,” Fitzgerald told the Wisconsin State Journal. Clearly the geography professor husband has a better understanding of politics, because he is a man, and plus, geography. Also, Compas is FREELANCE, anyway, which is codeword for ASPIRING BABYMAKER. READ MORE »
Oopsie. What has gross slug and former Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour done to subvert justice this time? Oh, basically a reverse-cowgirl of the time Michael Dukakis furloughed Willie Horton, but this time by pardoning a drunk driver for his third offense while he was in jail for killing a girl during his fourth.
