You cover up your dirty pillows with a long-form birth certificate, young lady

Oh, it's another damned primary election with national implications. Guess we should pay attention, huh?

Wayne Allyn Root thinks people on welfare and women who get copay-free birth control should not be allowed to vote!
62 years of raising hell

It's Molly Ivins's birthday. Laugh, raise some hell, and make sure everyone you know is registered to vote.

No, John Boehner is probably not driving the Wonkebago to the Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing, but a girl can dream, can't she? Join your comrades at the Wonkette Commenter-Owned Cooperative Drinky Thing And...

Did you know that Hillary Clinton threatened to kill Bernie Sanders if he didn't drop out of the primaries? It's on the internet, so it must be true.

Wonkette Business

beat it, poors

Wonkers! There you are, just trying to read your dick jokes in peace, and some fucking thing keeps looping and crashing your browser. Or there's a fucking poll that sounds like it was written...
Why isn't Mercedes sponsoring wind farms? The branding is right there!

Here's a company that's using the good ol' free market to expand the reach of clean wind power. You want to save the planet, don't you?

Do you know the story of Judith and Holofernes? Judith was a rad Jewish woman, and Holofernes was a ... Roman? general who wanted to rape her. She was like "cool, Holofernes, I will...

Wonkette Bazaar




A fake PPP poll shows Trump beating Hillary in Florida by a margin of 74-9. Obviously the first REAL UNSKEWED POLL of the election!

There is quite a big debate these days, over in Europe, about whether or not Muslim women ought to be allowed to wear "burkinis" -- bathing suits that fully cover the skin and hair...

Did you hear Kaepernick is a secret Islamic? Sean Hannity did!
You have the right to free speech as long as you're not dumb enough to actually try it.

America is a land of boundless freedom, as long as you don't say anything unkind about it in relation to the flag or national anthem.

Palin managed to make a Facebook post about her falling down and banging her head on some rocks all about Hillary Clinton.

Dr. Jill Stein ascended the rope ladder to her secret medical tree house, where she practiced secret medicine. Hand over hand, clog over sensible clog, she climbed. Finally, after moving in some more ways that would be...
I CAN SAY TERRISM YET?

Andrea Tantaros is not the liar, YOU ARE THE LIAR.
Trump campaign prepares for first visit to a black church

Donald Trump plans to visit an African-American church Saturday, and we're betting we'll never hear the end of it.

The womenfolk shall be made happy by force, if necessary.
Donald Trump with his First Lady AKA his daughter.

Oh look, Donald Trump made Huma Abedin's marital problems about him. Surprise.
These cutesy 'Abbey Road' recreations are getting out of hand

Donald Trump was incredibly wrong about crime rates. Imagine that!

Maybe he just fired her for being a woman, we don't know.
Ritchie Mack, he's a sheriff down in 'Zona...

More straight out delusion from our pals in the "Constitutional Sheriff" community, who still want to get themselves elected into power in Navajo County, Arizona, and then tell the Federal Government to bugger off,...
We're only doing this to get your attention

Paul LePage is not a racist, no matter how many times he says that black drug dealers are coming to Maine to impregnate all its white women. If you insist on thinking Paul LePage...
If the Trump campaign somehow brings back Pauly Shore, it's going to have a lot to answer for.

Donald Trump campaign CEO Steve Bannon was once part of the management team for Biosphere 2, another over-hyped financially dubious flop.

Oh, is Anthony Weiner waving his dick around again? Huh.