forget about it lou, i'm an oil man

Also, news about Marissa Mayer and Totino's pizza rolls! But not about Marissa Mayer eating Totino's pizza rolls, because she would never.
ryan c, man's pocket Constitution says this is some bullshit, man.

Oregon wildlife refuge occupier Ryan Bundy filed a bunch of nonsense legal paperwork declaring himself a 'sovereign citizen' who is not subject to the law. Oddly enough , he remains in jail.

He should totally solve mysteries now, right?

Remember how Mike Pence is very stupid? Ahem.

Wonkette Business

Why isn't Mercedes sponsoring wind farms? The branding is right there!

Here's a company that's using the good ol' free market to expand the reach of clean wind power. You want to save the planet, don't you?

Do you know the story of Judith and Holofernes? Judith was a rad Jewish woman, and Holofernes was a ... Roman? general who wanted to rape her. She was like "cool, Holofernes, I will...

How long has it been since you examined your box? Do you like to examine it in the morning, when the sunlight hits it just right? When you examine your box, tell us, is...

Wonkette Bazaar

The night we took away everything they ever loved.
Who ya got?

Donald Trump says he'd really like to hit some of the speakers at the Democratic convention really hard. Metaphorically. For now.

Middle Eastern terrorists are so last season, it's all about cyber now!

The Democratic Convention probed for weaknesses in the Republican nominee, and found a target-rich environment.

All is well with the world, the sun is shining, and Donald Trump is crying his baby rage in 140 characters or fewer.

For real, we are getting in the car and going back to Memphis.

And they say masculinity is fragile!

The final night of the Democratic National Convention belonged to Hillary Clinton and her speech accepting the party's nomination, but it was owned by Mr. Khizr Khan, the father of Army Captain Humayun S.M....
Waiting for concern troll to say we advocate electrocuting Trump. DO NOT ELECTROCUTE TRUMP!

Donald Trump is pretty sure he'd never be insensitive to folks with disabilities. After all, his hotels have elevators, don't they?

Here's you morning newz breif! YOU READ IT RIGHT NOW!

It's the final night of the Democratic National Convention! Watch for falling balloons!

Nancy Pelosi is talking on the DNC right now, but earlier today she was standing next to yr Wonket!

Wonket made another new friend.

Wow! We had no idea that people donated money to eat dinner with politicians!

Donald Trump doesn't have much experience being a political despot, yet.
No idea who's responsible for this work of sheer genius. Let us know so we can give proper credit!

Donald Trump might have said he's considering reversing American policy and recognizing Russia's annexation of Ukraine. Or he might not have understood the question. Does it matter?

The Democrats made everyone in Philly have a big, old, sad. Now we need to turn that sadness into action.

Can we Yelp review parties? Is that a thing?
This man knows malarky when he sees it

Old Handsome Joe Biden delivered one fine Old Handsome Joe Biden speech at the DNC Wednesday. He's electric as ever.