Fragile Xenophobic Snowflakes Triggered By Super Bowl Ads That Forgot To Hate Mexicans

One was too hot for TV, another has incited a boycott.

Trump’s FCC Guy Just Killed Poors’ Obamanet. Don’t We Feel Safer Already?

Trump's FCC Commissioner working to ensure no internet for dirty poors, hits the ground running. Are we tired of winning yet?

Trump Doesn’t Like Being Leaked On

No, *besides* the Russian pee hookers, we mean.

Trump Quite Miffed They Didn’t Tell Him What Was In All Those Thingummies He Signed

The New York Times, for all its post-Jill-Abramson fuckery, has a pleasure of a story for us today, and it includes charming anecdotes about Trump aides holding meetings in the dark because how many Trumpers does it take to flip...

Trump: But Is Killing Journalists Really *Wrong*? Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 6, 2017

Trump professes his love of Putin (again!), the FCC hates poor people, and Silicone Valley nerds write a love letter to immigrants. Your Morning news brief!

Deleted Comments: Enjoy A Trump Fan’s Wet Dream About Ending Voter Fraud With Summary Executions

You wouldn't believe how easy eliminating voter fraud would be. All you need is to start with a police state...
I am so sorry you can't see the beautiful picture. You really are missing out!

Grown-Up Chicken SO GOOD SO TASTY SO YOU MAKE IT RIGHT NOW.

OK, so: President Bannon, fascist dictatorship, Constitutional crisis, WTF did he just tweet? Pissed off allies, Putin puppet, marriage equality LOL, RESISTANCE! PROTESTS! *Yawn* Typical week under the Trump regime, right? And the Real Writers here at Wonkette...
we don't believe you cuz we the people

The Resisters, The Resisted, and The Dumb Border Wall: Your Corporate Roundup

Which corporations are sucking slightly less this week? Hint: it's not Uber!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Exhausted By Trump, And It’s Only Been Two Damn Weeks

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Federal Judge Orders Long Layover In Seattle For Trump’s Travel Ban

So here's a big setback for That Man In the White House. He'll probably react with grace and poise.
Gaul is supposed to be a big deal, but it's very disappointing. Terrible golf. Sad!

Hold On To That Refugee Nice Time, Because Trump Is Telling All Those Judges To F*ck Right Out Of Here

Is violating a federal court order really all that bad if you really think it's necessary?

Here’s Three OTHER Times Kellyanne Conway Was Stupid The Past 24 Hours

You'd think she would have gone home after the Bowling Green Massacre.

ND Reps Vote Down Blue Laws Repeal So Their Wives Will Make Them Breakfast In Bed

Also so they can have a half a day without their wives spending all their money on new hats.

Stupidest Man On Internet Wants Steve Bannon To Sue Nancy Pelosi, For Butthurt

Steve Bannon a white supremacist? Where on earth would Nancy Peolsi ever get that idea?

Gross Milo Douchebag Can’t Wait To Ask White House Why Black Dick Is So Great

Milo got press credentials for a White House press briefing, because That's America Now.

Donald Trump Will Raise Money For Refugees Hurt By Donald Trump

Look, we are giving the new president a chance!

Nice Time: Watch Hundreds Of Utahns Greet The Last Arriving Refugees (For Now)

We're not crying; YOU'RE crying.

Mmmm, This Coal Water Tastes Like Freedom!

Everyone's going to make so much money they won't mind the toxic water.