Happy Friday, Judge Bredar! And Jeff Sessions…FUCK YOU!

Judge signs Baltimore Consent Decree. We still hate that weaselfucker Sessions!
Haw haw, fuck you, Earth!

Bureau Of Land Management Web Page Swaps Out Dumb Nature Pics For Beautiful, Lovely COAL

If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower.

Maryland Will Fund Planned Parenthood, Because GOP Governor Scared Shitless

Republican governor trying pretty hard to keep his seat in blue blue Maryland. Keep trying governor!

Twitter Won’t Unmask Rogue ‘Alt-Gov’ Accounts To Help Trump, Is That Even Legal?

Government attempt to unmask Twitter user gets a Fail Whale.

Trump Bombs Shit Out Of Syria, And Media CAN’T STOP HAPPY-JIZZING ABOUT IT

Did Donald Trump become A REAL MAN last night? The media sure thinks so!

Is Trump About To Blow The Bowe Bergdahl Court-Martial? Man, That Guy Blows!

Is there something else President Twitterfingers can screw up? Why, yes! How about military trials?

Welcome To Your Shiny New War, America!

Airstrikes on Syria? What could possibly go wrong?

Trump & Assad: LET’S HAVE A WAR! Wonkagenda For Fri., April 7, 2017

Trump plays with his missile, conspiracy cooks are going bonkers, and Russia is mad Trump lied...to THEM! Your morning news brief!

Trump Has Some Sort Of Stroke Or Something, Judging By The Words That Just Came Out His Mouth

Well, that's ONE way of looking at it! Also, it's your OPEN THREAD!

Democrats Just Made Mitch McConnell Do A Very Bad Thing

Say goodbye to the filibuster for Supreme Court nominees, and hello to letting employers fire you if you aren't willing to die on the job.

Trump Invites Chinese President Over To Pussgrab ‘N’ Chill, Puts Him Up At Radisson Down The Street

Oh my god, White House, GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER.
Fuck it, we'll do it domestic abusively!

Bill O’Reilly’s New Book About ‘American Values’ Grabs NY Times Bestseller List Right By The Pussy

Bill O'Reilly's new book is all about traditional American values, like threatening women's jobs if they won't sleep with you.

President Bannon Thinks Jared Kushner Is Total Cucking Jew! WHOA IF TRUE!

You don't talk about the president's boyfriend we mean son-in-law like that!

Alex Jones Having Conniption About Something Or Other, We Don’t Know

Apparently physically threatening sitting US congressmen is NOT ALLOWED. Unfair!

Which Of These Terrible ‘Ideas’ On Immigration Is Most Disgusting? TRICK QUESTION DUMMY!

Let's visit the spoiled produce dumpster out behind the Marketplace of Ideas.

Devin Nunes To Stop Investigating Trump Russia Scandal He Wasn’t Investigating

BREAKING NEWS, but Devin Nunes might have a bit of an ETHICAL PROBLEM.

Steve Bannon Almost Quit In Piss-Rage Over Being Booted From National Security Council :(

George R.R. Martin is watching the Trump White House closely, if only to make sure his characters behave slightly better.

TrumpCare Back? Back Again?! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 6, 2017

Congress trashes TrumpCare, Trump dumps Bannon, and Valdimir Putin HATES being called a gay clown! Your morning news brief!

Donald Trump So Jealous Of President Bannon’s Fame, Fortune, Sexxxy Dadbod, Normal-Sized Hands

President Bannon keeps STEALING THE LIMELIGHT FROM TRUMP! Also it's YOUR OPEN THREAD!

Plucky Teen Journos Go Woodward & Bernstein On Principal’s Bogus Credentials, She Quits, Hooray!

She'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids!

Puss-Burglar Defends Puss-Burglar Against Charges Of Aggravated Puss-Burgling

A story about Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly!