Cops On Internet Forum Love Watching NYPD Assault Protesters

So there's this Internet forum for police officers called "Officer.com," and you supposedly have to be a police officer to register for the site. (How do the administrators prove this? Probably by making sure the registration application has enough...

Wonkette Operative Is Legal Hero At Wall Street Occupation

Here's a quick report from the Occupy Wall Street camp before your correspondent takes a shower break in Brooklyn: Veteran Wonkette commenter and former executive director of the National Lawyer's Guild Riverside68 is fighting the cops, in court! We...

Welfare Poors Aren’t Big Druggies, But Boeing Workers Sure Are!

Florida and other teabagger-ruled feifdoms like Georgia, Michigan and Arizona are all spending millions of dollars trying to prove unsuccessfully that their state welfare rolls are riddled with wretched socialist junkies who rush straight to spend their 26 government cents...

Republican Orc-Monsters Create ‘Rick Perry Rap’ Video, In Texas

It is time to enjoy this fantastic "Rick Perry Rap" performance made by a couple of humans (?) in Austin. And, for once, we really have nothing more to say on the subject.

Will Herman Cain Propose Chilean-Style Student Riots?

Jabbering nincompoop Herman Cain is the new star of the GOP 2012 Campaign, this week -- that's how much Republicans don't like their front-runner, Mitt Romney. Herman Cain's policy positions are as ridiculous as they are insane: Something about...

Bored With Blimps, Paultards Will Now Begin Jumping Out of Planes

Blimps, they are so 2008. Why have a blimp when you can have it rain actual Paultards all over your New Hampshire campaign event? Skydivers will jump from a helicopter over Derry on Sept. 29 for an aerial display and...

Michelle Malkin Hated Onion Hostage Joke Because It Lacked Democrats

The Onion put out a series of "breaking news" tweets narrating an escalating Capitol Hill hostage situation perpetrated by Republican members of Congress (GET IT??), which the Capitol Police decided to treat as actionable cause for TOTAL PANIC because...

Drone Terror Attack Thwarted Because Only Pentagon Is Allowed To Do That

What could be wrong about a robot-drone plane raining death and destruction upon the Enemy? Everything, when a Muslim wants to do it! (Otherwise, this is called "10 years of U.S. war in Afghanistan.") Somehow, the FBI found an...

Hero Columnist Offers To Pay To Drug Test Florida Lawmakers

Florida governor Rick Scott is one of those charming sociopath fundamentalist teabagger fiscal responsibility screamers who will nonetheless spend millions of taxpayer dollars to make absolutely sure that the government isn't giving a single $104 check to a poor...

Illinois GOP Lawmaker Told Police To Ignore Her Husband’s 911 Calls

One of the perks of elected local office should be that you can tell law enforcement to, eh look the other way from time to time when you need to straighten out your spouse, because, come on, right? Illinois...

Florida Launches First Pie In Nat’l Slapfight Over GOP Primary Calendar

The whiny lizards running the state of Florida are expected to start shit by declaring their GOP primary date January 31st, a week before the scheduled Feb. 6 date of the holy Iowa caucuses and well ahead of the other...

Who Dares Tell The Tea Party They Smell Like Old Gorilla Masks?

Teevee's absolute worst offense against humankind "Dancing With the Stars" is now also teevee's worst offense against that other section of beings "the teabaggers,"  because one of the illiterate trolls in Andrew Breitbart's stable of typing tumors at BigHollywood.com...

Wonkette Interviews the Peaceful Park Dweller Hippie Fiends!

The Park Dwellers: In Their Own Words! Watch this brave anonymous high school teacher ("I hope my principal doesn't see this") talk about what's happening in New York that the National Media (all based in New York) refuses to...

LA City Council Becomes Millionth Victim of Classic ‘Mike Hunt’ Joke (VIDEO)

LA Councilman Dennis Zine got a list of people wishing to speak on the floor during Tuesday's meeting that included mysterious individual "Mike Hunt." Zine dutifully called on him with the best unsuspecting Principal Skinner deadpan that a prankster...

Rand Paul Takes Brave, Lonely Pro-Explosion Stance On Gas Pipelines

Hm, let's see, what normal, boring, uncontroversial public safety measure can some branch of the Paul family tree make hilarious through his comical lone opposition to "people not being incinerated in fiery explosions all the time?" This time: the...

Riot Cops Battle Protesters Trying To Strangle Dick Cheney

It's pretty hot for September! Up in Vancouver, a kick-ass bunch of Canadian protesters rushed the doors of some private industrialists club/Satanic Secret Society and had a battle with the riot cops. A 51-year-old protester reportedly strangled a cop,...

NYC Protesting and Palling Around With Anti-Terror Militarized Police

Good morning! Your dutiful Occupy Wall Street correspondent is still embedded with the Sandinistas of Zuccotti Park, who still want to destroy America with their nonviolent opposition to living in a terrible banana republic. We even accompanied the park...

Nikki Haley Fixes South Carolina’s Bad Vibes With Stupid Phone Greetings

South Carolina teabagger governor Nikki Haley has decided to remedy South Carolina's myriad ways of sucking for people who live in South Carolina -- it currently has the country's fourth-highest unemployment rate and sports saturated Medicaid rolls (meaning everyone...

Rick Perry Makes Up Convenient Story of Teabagger Persecution (VIDEO)

Rick Perry put on his best mom shirt and sweat all over the stage as he performed in a severe, drooling twang the Tea Party's most cherished political tradition, the factually false re-telling of historical events. Here he is...

Meghan McCain Finally Takes Offense At Someone Calling Her Stupid

Oh boohoo, Meghan McCain is furious because mean old troll Erick Erickson's right-wing website RedState.com posted some kind of half-wit parody of Meghan McCain's vapid Daily Beast columns that her lawyers say too closely resembles her actual half-wit columns...

Liberal NPR Won’t Cover Wall Street Protests, So Read This Instead

If, by now, you haven't read the incredible public response from NPR regarding the intentional decision to ignore the Occupy Wall Street protests now in their second week, prepare to be repulsed even if you automatically deride liberal protests...

Muslim Republican Braves Lair of Screaming Florida Teabaggers

The cranky, fearful Republican Orcs of Broward County, Florida heard there was a MUSLIM, yes that's a right a MUSLIM trying to join their little treehouse club of dingbats with the bizarre explanation that he, too, was a Republican....

Here’s a Portrait of Riley Waggaman Covering the NYC Protests (With a Monopoly Apple Computer)

At least the New York Observer is giving a little of the News Hole to the #OccupyWallStreet gang! Here's our own correspondent, Riley Waggaman, with his bad-ass bomber jacket and monopoly Apple laptop that is now the only computer...