let's go to st. louis!

Actual War To Happen In St. Louis Tomorrow

Things are so fucked up right now in America. The atmosphere surrounding these health care town halls is evolving faster than the HIV virus on cocaine, and steroids. Last night we saw the first fights break out in St. Louis and Tampa, over proposed legislation to reform an inefficient, costly ...
  where is the bat man?

IMPORTANT UPDATE ON OBAMA-JOKER POSTER: Even though creative people are liberal by nature and street artists played an interesting role in the election of liberal Barack Obama, who is widely supported by creative people, because they are liberal, “the art community is not meeting its duty ...
  lazy summer

White House Photographer Not Even Trying

Okay, famous White House photographer Pete Souza, we realize it’s August and nobody wants to work at all and there’s nothing very news-y happening and everybody’s on vacation WE GET IT, fine, but we’re still sort of working and you are still supposed to be working, yet ...
  america's most gradual divorce process

JENNY SANFORD & KIDS MOVE OUT LIKE WHOA: The Sanfords are back from their merry two-week jaunt to the country Europe! So… how’d it go??? “First Lady Jenny Sanford announced Friday she is moving with her four sons to Charleston and will no longer live in the Governor’s ...
  film and stage

Air Happenings, Hyperactive Thursdays, and One Hot Rebel

Friday, August 7: While it may not be nearly as exciting as the Air Sex Finals that were held in DC this past June, the US Air Guitar Championships at the 9:30 Club tonight should still be an entertaining evening. Watch people awkwardly strum their stomachs for a chance to be crowned Champion ...
  quitters

Senator Mel Martinez Quits Early

Everybody knew Senator Mel Martinez, the Florida guy who took advantage of what’s known as “the Cuban Exemption” in order to become both a Republican and a Hispanic at the same time, would not run for re-election in 2010. But who knew he’d be resigning his seat a year early?
  cartoon violence

Political Cartoons Become Self-Aware; Humanity Doomed

By the Comics Curmudgeon People, have you seen the famous terrible violent movie this summer, where the Batman is yelling angrily at the robots who became sentient and killed us all? And then also the other similarly terrible movies about the robots that are also cars, and also self-aware? ...
  for serious?

SOMEHOW THIS IS VERY OFFENSIVE TO TRIG PALIN AS WELL: Question: Why did Keith Olbermann let Richard Wolffe keep appearing as a guest commentator on his show four months after it became apparent that Wolffe is a known greaseball whore who will take money from literally anyone? Answer: How dare ...
  for serious?

A Very Vexatious Friday

GREEN EFFIN SHOOTS Y’ALL, happy days are here again! The unemployment rate fell to a mere 9.4% in the marvelous month of July. [New York Times] Huzzah, the Senate has appropriated more cash for Cash for Clunkers. (For Clunkers.) [Washington Post] Oh good Lord. Harry Reid used an actual ...
  never forget

Where Were You During the Great Blog Attacks of 2009?

The last thing your editor saw online Thursday morning was a Facebook update from Gawker Media boss Nick Denton — something about how his websites were getting these “Denial of Service” attacks, and also how Twitter was being attacked by computer monsters. Twitter! Ha ha, who ...
  linkbait: successful

GO TO HELL, BIG CITY HUMOR-CRATS! Jesus, can’t wait to see what this guy whines about the next time we direct national traffic to one of his articles from our snobby bisexual computers in Metropolis: “Much of what Wonkette posts is sweating with anti-rural sentiment, attacking, for ...
  technical difficulties

WHAT IS KOREA DOING TO YOUR WONKETTE? Well that was a fun last hour of HELL and NOTHING WORKING. Jesus. It makes sense, though, that after obliterating Twitter and Facebook, “they” would next set their Internet dragon on the third most important website, Wonkette. Hopefully ...
  pornography

ROMNEY’S HOT NEW POTBOILER DUE OUT IN MARCH: Smut merchant Mittens “Willard” Romney will publish a sexy new nonfictional work, No Apology: The Case for American Greatness, an unapologetically graphic 304-page how-to guide to Tantric brain-sex with the awesomest nation on ...
  dipshit mcgoo

Who Is Fred Thompson And Why Are We Posting This?

The Twitters broke for a while today, or yesterday, who gives a shit, but once things became operational again, fat retarded donkey Fred Thompson was ready with a one-liner. Did you know that Barack Obama now has his SS arresting everyone on the Internet? This is what the Republicans are ...