blood meridian 2015

Walmart doesn't have the stones to say where boys without stones or girls with them should drop their kids off at the pool.

Remember the good old days when you could just insult whomever you wanted, and then they would kill you in a duel?

Barack Obama's speech in Hiroshima was so good we forgot to be all smartassed about it.

Texas Republican Congresshick Louie Gohmert has some thoughts to share about gays, outer space, Matt Damon, and traditional het’rosexual romance!
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Don't you want to meet Wonkette's Evan Hurst, the gay one with the filthy mouth?

Wonkette Business

Hello citizens! It is I, Sara Benincasa, longtime Wonkette contributor and longer-time Wonkette commenter. I am here to tell you about my new book, Real Artists Have Day Jobs, which you can obtain via...

How long has it been since you examined your box? Do you like to examine it in the morning, when the sunlight hits it just right? When you examine your box, tell us, is...
Truck Fump never looked so good

Do you, like all sentient beings on the planet, have a violently strong distaste for presidential candidate Donald J. Trump (nee Drumpf)? Of course you do! Do you, like so very many others, feel the...

Wonkette Bazaar



Haw haw, fuck you, Earth!

Donald Trump just loves coal and oil, they're just tremendous and terrific. YOOOGE.

Why won't the liberal media validate Bill O'Reilly's racism?
Don't be ridiculous. Of course you didn't

Ohio lawmakers passed a nifty bill that will put the cost of extending voting hours in an emergency where it belongs: On the voters requesting extended hours from a judge. Voting isn't free, after all.

Gather round, ye Wonkers, for we have another TKO smackdown to share with you!

Barack Obama is wrapping up his gnarly Vietnamese vacation. Wish we were there!
Typical.

Maybe Kenyan Muslim Marxist Gay Obama wants to live 1,096 feet from a mosque so he can hop, skip and jump to prayers WITH HIS PEOPLE!
That might explain a lot, actually

Donald Trump's "liaison on Christian policy," Frank Amedia, is a powerful man of God who does faith healings on TV (offscreen, at least), and kept the 2011 jJapanese tsunami from hurting anyone. In Hawaii.
Don't joke about the size of his wings. He's hung like a...

Donald Trump's new consigliere Paul Manafort guarantees there's no way Trump would consider a woman or a minority for vice president, because he only wants qualified people and doesn't pander to anyone but white males.

Just one more thing on which insane rage monkey Michelle Malkin and poised, calm, lovely and boob-positive Wonkette part ways.
So good at helping the vets, your head will spin

Donald Trump: as good at charity as he is at everything else in life. Bernie Sanders: doing this why, exactly?

Because shackling a child in a basement is fine, and letting trans people pee is just horrifying!

Bill Clinton had been told by his wife in no uncertain terms that he was done yelling at black people. Why didn't he go to Santa Fe, and make some new friends there? Santa...
Bernie is Da Champ

We tackle an experiment in metamodern journalism about Bernie Sanders, and add some much needed Star Wars jokes.

Oh look, a whole posse of bigot states are joining together to say 'EW TRANS PEOPLE'!

You come listen to all these songs RIGHT NOW, because Vice President Beyoncé said so.

'Open Air Preacher' Angela Cummings is a sheer delight.
Wouldn't a duplex be more sensible?

Washingtonian magazine is rather distressed that Barack Obama intends to live in a really spendy DC neighborhood after he's out of office. Shouldn't a former community organizer have to live in a tenement?