drama on the hill

Capitol Scandal: With Whom Will Specter Lunch?

It’s going to be great, tomorrow, when we can all quit acting like we care about Arlen Specter beyond, you know, his vote. Meanwhile, OMG WITH WHOM WILL ARLEN SUP, AT THE SENATE DINING ROOM? Because you know he used to lunch with his Republican “colleagues,” but now he hates ...
  jesus fucking christ

Florida Reveals Tasteful New License Plate

Who’s classy now? Florida, again, as always! Here’s the new “vanity plate,” featuring America’s favorite (?) Christian star, Dead Jesus Hanging Off a License Plate With an Orange Behind His Head. This is gonna look sweet with a brass pair of Truck Nutz ...
  wonkette junkette

Death March Through George Washington’s Farm

So we arrived here late, of course, due to Tories, and scarfed down a few blueberry muffins before departing on a grand tour of George Washington’s farm. We saw a museum under a sheep pasture, where they store George Washington’s skull (pictured above). Did you know the father of ...
  parsley sage rosemary and booze

Rosemary’s Thyme: It’s ‘Thyme’ To Drink (and Eat!)

This whole “selling cheap drinks after work because the workday is soooo stressful, and crying to your mother really isn’t socially acceptable” logic undercuts the most important thing about alcohol: in these trying times, we should be able to drink it cheaply every day, in a nice ...
  99 problems

OMG Just One Day Until Obama’s 100th Day!

Do things feel just a little more exciting today? That’s hardly surprising, because the Barack Obama Administration is now 99 days old, which is exactly one (1) day shy of the super-important 100th birthday of the First Hundred Days. How is our young, useless, radical foreign-born Chicago ...
  put a face mask on twitter

Twitter + Swine Flu = Stupid

This might seem nuts, but it turns out that the combination of Twitter and the Pig-Bird-Mexican flu pandemic is a whole lot of Wrong. That is the point of this post, we think, although this quote from CNN sort of demolishes, well, everything: “Chatter about swine flu is also loud ...
  wonkette junkette

Why We Have Been Slacking

Two associate editors of a certain NOTORIOUSLY SNARKY D.C. political Web site have been enjoying fun adventures, such as parties with famous overtanned A-list cable news celebrities and looking for Jim’s car keys. Now we are en route to Mount Vernon, where we will be whisked away by ...
  daily briefing

This Is What Salvation Must Be Like, After a While

Bird-Pig-Mexican Flu! Oh Mayan God of Horror, we are all going to die from this fucking Mexican flu, like it wasn’t bad enough that we lost 40% on our investments since last year, and our houses are worth negative-nothing-infinity, if we even have houses, which we don’t, because ...
  please stand by

NO WE DID NOT BAN YOU (YET): We don’t know what’s going on with the comments, either. But we have our comment boxes again, on our various machines, across this great land. HEADQUARTERS is maybe working on the “can’t comment at Wonkabout” problem? Okay here is a fun ...
  america's greatest moral pundit

K-Lo: There Is Pornography Literally Everywhere, In My Inbox

National Review‘s Catholic Mexican secretary Kathryn Jean “Jonah Goldberg” Lopez has a problem with her Internets, specifically that oh we don’t know maybe LUCIFER has control of it? “Access to porn is probably in your e-mail account’s inbox right now. You’re ...
  borg

Borgen, of Borgen Project, Revealed

Remember when these maniacs from the Borg Planet attacked Wonkette’s comments? When was this? A year ago? Last month? Who can remember. But then they were gone, as if crushed by their robot godhead. And then, today, we received this delightful email. A picture, of the Borgen Project? Yes, ...
  including the polka

Everything Is Mexico’s Fault

It seems that Mexico has turned into a nightmare apocalypse swamp (desert?) just south of our own American borders, overnight. Once upon a time, carefree teens could slip down to Juarez or Tijuana for a good clean evening of wholesome fuckin’, and now they will just get kidnapped or ...