Wisconsin Hero Injured Jumping In Front Of SUV Of ‘Crazy Liberal Nut’ Voting Against Scott Walker

Congratulations on your Wisconsin GOP primary victory in your recall vote, Scott Walker! And congratulations too on having devoted heroic supporters like Jeffrey Radle, who was hospitalized when he jumped in front of his bitch estranged wife's SUV to...

Why Is The Jack-Booted Government Arresting All These Nice White Supremacists?

Hello, it is called "freedom to assemble" and "freedom of association" and "freedom of speech" and "freedom to try to manufacture ricin" and it is IN THE CONSTITUTION, SHEEPLE. Why is the government illegally arresting all these various white...

Be Very Afraid: The Only Witness To Death Of Breitbart Has ‘Vanished’

Well, that seals it. Barack Obama's body count is now almost as high as the murderous Clinton Crime Family's! Whom is he capping? (That is gang talk, because Barack Obama is a Chicago thug.) Anybody and everybody who might...

Lugar Loses ‘Battle of Two Dicks’ Indiana Primary

Here is the ghostly ballroom where Dick Lugar's six-term Senate career is doing a sad, invisible waltz of doom. NBC is calling the Indiana GOP Senate primary for teabagger Dick Mourdock, thereby "putting the seat in play for Democrats...

GOP Blocks Student Loan Bill, Will Blame Obama For Blocking Student Loan Bill

So Barack Obama was all, hey students, let me come to your college and sing you some Al Green and whisper sweet nothings about Derrida and Pound and TS Eliot and also about how it is important that the...

Joe ‘You Lie’ Wilson’s Wife Also Has Talent for Screaming Outbursts

The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is "veritable shitstorm" for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates, which led the South Carolina...

This One House Republican Really Loves Planned Parenthood

Well how about that, a freshman House Republican, Illinois' Bob Dold, is going to sign his death wish this week. Not only does he plan "to introduce a bill Wednesday that would ensure Planned Parenthood’s access to federal funding,"...

Obama Administration (In The) Black

President Taxes has dealt a new blow to capitalism and job creation and puppies and rainbows, and that is by running a surplus for the first time since the recession 'sploded in 2008. April saw a positive $58 billion...

Will This Chicken Monster Be Our New Vice President?

Holy beans, Rob Portman is a chicken! Someone just got a lot more qualified for the vice presidency. WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW and then ask yourselves, hmm, what should Joe Biden counter with in their debate? He does a...

Hoosiers To Beat Up Old Man

After 36 years in the Senate, Indiana's Dick Lugar will likely see his political career end tonight for the simple reason that he's talked to President Obama in good faith a couple of times over the past several years....

Romney’s New Best Friend: The Dude Who Bragged About Private Jet While His Coal Mine Collapsed

Did you know? Some of Mitt Romney's best friends own coal mines! Especially the kind that collapse and kill six workers and three (would-be) rescuers after years and years of reports and fines for unsafe work places. (The Mine...

David Brooks Collects Enough Pennies To Buy His $4 Million Dream House

Poor ol' New York Times columnist David Brooks, who writes 1600 dumb words for his newspaper per week, and that's it, has purchased a $3.95 million home in Washington, DC. What a thrifty saver, and a model for all...

When Will The Left Stop Being Hysterical About Obama Being Tried For Treason?

Hey Wonkers, remember this? The horror in Ol' Walnuts's eyes as he realized the tidal wave of fucking nuts to which he was in thrall? Good times! But remember also (you should, because you just watched it) how Country...

Romney Will ‘Take A Lot Of Credit’ For Auto Industry Comeback That He Mocks Obama For Daily

In 2008, blight on society Mitt Romney called for the government to "let Detroit go bankrupt" in none other than a New York Times op-ed called "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt," published a week after the loser he lost to...

Santorum Endorses Romney In Sad, Rambling Late-Night Email

Oh, man, when you get a 16-paragraph email from someone at 11 pm you know that only good things are in it, right? Generally these things are some variation of "I DON'T NEED YOU, WHY DON'T YOU LOVE...

Rich Lowry: When Will This Welfare Queen ‘Julia’ Get Off Head Start And Pell Grants?

Rich Lowry simply does not care for the Obama campaign's fictional "Julia." Julia begins her interaction with the welfare state as a little tot through the pre-kindergarten program Head Start. She then proceeds through all of life's important phases,...

Maine Gov. Paul LePage To Unemployed Shiftless Slobs: Get Off The Couch

Maine Gov. Paul LePage looks like Chris Christie, sounds like Harvey Fierstein, and speaks the words fed him by Grover Norquist, and that is a winning combination if we have ever seen/heard one! He is ready to "starve the...

Long National Nightmare Over As Rich People Back To Being Richer Than Ever!

Why the long face? Have you not heard? According to CNN.com... The Fortune 500 are thriving as a group. Unlike the U.S. economy, they've shown quicksilver agility, rapidly shifting their product mix and producing more goods at little...

It’s Been Another Banner Day in News About Truck Nutz

Nashville Nutz Alert operative "Ames" sends your Wonkette this delightful nature photograph of Truck Nutz roaming free and happy in the wilds of a Tennessee parking lot, for all of us to enjoy. Savor it while you can! The...

Chuck Todd Declares Existence of Homosexual Currency

It seems that D.C. numbers nerd Chuck Todd knows something about the contemporary campaign finance system that we do not: "Gay money in this election has replaced Wall Street money" in President Barack Obama's election campaign, he said. What...

U.S. Troops Won’t Answer To Liberal U.N. Secretary-General Nick Fury

Sure, every single human shelled out good money this past weekend to watch their nerd fantasies come true and all of their favorite funnybook superheroes (at least all the ones owned by one specific media conglomerate, and not counting...

The Wonkette Geopoliticker: Let’s Cold War With The Soviets Over The Arctic Circle!

It's getting warm again, which means it's time for for the polar ice caps to start melting, and for glorious Northwest Passages to open up everywhere, and for shipping and extraction and all things industrial to bloom. The boat ride...

National Review All Snitty About Poors And Taxes For A Change

Deroy Murdock at the NRO is really peeved, you guys, because he’s somehow accidentally managed to hear about things like “income inequality” and “fairness.” He’s TRIED to cover his ears and go la la la la la la and...