street prophets
CHUCK GRASSLEY ALSO SAID THIS: When he wasn’t talking about suckin’ tits earlier today, Chuck Grassley was saying THIS about AIG: “The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American ...

The ‘Jay Leno Backlash’ Comes Like A Hurricane

  hypocrisy!
No clue who this person is, but yeah, it’s happened. You knew this article would be written eventually, or maybe you didn’t, because of the lack of sense being made. Basically this lady wrote speeches for George H.W. Bush and loved attending the secret media Gridiron Club dinner, ...

  fun with a/v
THIS IS A FUNNY THING ABOUT BILL O’REILLY: This is great, with clips of Bill O’Reilly reading teenage sex scenes from the audiobook of his infamous 1998 novel, Those Who Trespass. In 2006 the New Yorker wrote about this book, which includes a TERRIFYING murder scene: “The ...

White House Fountain Foto #1

  kill the leprechauns
Huzzah, it’s our very first entrant in the “show us a picture of Michelle Obama poisoning the White House fountain with Irish puke” contest! While this is not technically “taking a comical picture,” as Ken requested, we will accept it. Thank you to faithful ...

White House Fountain Is Puke Green!

  st. patrick's day contest!
Who exorcist-puked in the White House fountain? Maybe nobody! Chicago street organizer Michelle Obama “ordered” the pretty fountain to be ruined in this gross way, because this is how Chicago people “celebrate” the Irish Plague, “Saint Patrick’s Day,” ...

Economy Problem Magically Solves Terrorism Problem!

  zero-sum polling
Just a few short years ago, Americans huddled in their underground bunkers worrying that Saddam Hussein was coming to bomb them, personally. Now Americans huddle in their underground bunkers worrying that they’re going to have to tap into their emergency supplies of Hobo Beans — but ...

Bush Travels All The Way To Canada To Find Adoring Fans

  foreign dignitaries
Wonkette Operative “Ride Me Cowboy” (?!) writes from the Canadian hinterlands to report that our own former president, George W. Bush, visited Calgary for some pasta and fruit salad last night. Today he’s addressing the Chamber of Commerce. People were thrilled to see him. ...

AIG Honors Contracts Even If Nobody Else Will

  honest brokers
So when the news came out about AIG spending hundreds of millions of dollars on bonuses for the incredible losers who, in running one tiny tiny segment of a huge and otherwise very stable company, managed to completely destroy the whole company and indeed the entire global economy, AIG said, ...

La Loma: Eat Burritos With Your Congressman (Maybe)

  taco night
La Loma is the perfect place to go if you want Mexican food in a festive atmosphere and you don’t really care what you’re eating, as long as it’s smothered in orange cheese. It’s also a fantastic place to go if you want to eavesdrop on some first hand DC gossip — after ...

Eager Obamatards Waiting Patiently For Jobs They Won’t Get

  employment news
Right after President Obama was elected, the entire universe of unemployed people and soon-to-be unemployed people rushed to whatever that website was, with the jobs. Hundreds of thousands of people applied for basically a handful of Administration jobs, and now they are all waiting around in ...

  history
OMG OBAMA WILL BE ON JAY LENO!! “Many Americans will get their ‘first look’ at the president during this program which usually comes on after the local sports broadcast. What will they think?” [AOL Political Machine]

  no seriously
OBAMA IS FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT ON LATE NIGHT TEEVEE: Oooh sexy NBC press release time: “President Barack Obama will be making his first sit-down talk show appearance in studio in front of a live audience since becoming elected on Thursday, March 19 on ‘The Tonight Show with Jay ...

Reason.tv Shows Its Love for Free Markets and Marijuana

  wonkette party crash
Reason.tv threw itself a party this weekend to watch “Bailouts, Big Spending, & Bull,” a 20/20 documentary based on Drew Carey’s video collaborations with Reason.tv — and your Wonkette was invited. It was filled with illegal drugs and piles of cash flung about with ...