Bankers Worked Hard For Their Money, You Know

  self-defense editorials
Well this is sort of neat! An actual AIG-FP executive wrote an op-ed in the Times explaining why he is not the most evil biological form on the planet short of the Ebola virus, and he makes some good points, such as: not everybody in the AIG-FP unit fucked up the world. It was only the credit ...

Condi On Leno

  late-night entertainments for old people
You may have forgotten about this with glamorous President Obama hogging the airwaves last evening, but another famous celebrity appeared on the teevee last night! It was that lady, Condoleezza Rice, who made history by becoming the first Secretary of State to wear sexy dominatrix outfits on ...

How Will President Obama Type Without Teleprompters?

  late-night entertainments for old people
Notre Dame has a proud history of protesting presidential commencement speakers for whatever reason they can come up with. [Chicago Tribune] The White House stole the Washington Post‘s idea of having live online chats, and now Barack Obama will engage in a brisk, informative bout of ...

Diaperman David Vitter Escapes Air-Terror Charges

  republicans in the news
Is David Vitter’s dad the Pope? Does he know about the Aliens and Area 51? What explains this foul whore-soiling scumbag’s ability to evade justice? Not only did he get caught whoring via the since-suicided DC Madam’s phone records, but he was infamous in New Orleans for ...

Liveblogging Obama’s Latest Teevee Show, Part 1

  nerds
Hey Obama’s gonna be on the teevee in a few minutes to read Das Kapital from his TELLYPROMTARRS, all 40 of them. We’re commemorating this occasion with some classic racist Internet art from the campaign. What a schmuck, this guy! We’re watching CNN analyze the ...

  programming announcements
LIVEBLOG OF THE DEBATE OR WHATEVER, LATER: Mean old Barack Obama is going on Jay Leno or something at 8:00 ET tonight for another primetime press conference. There’ll be loads of questions about god knows what; anything from the future of currency flows to retarded bowling games to that ...

Breaking Political News From CNN, HURRY!

  tuesday fun video
Even though you have already had a “Tuesday Lunch Video” today, circumstances call for a “Tuesday Fun Video” as well, because how can we not post this? It’s CNN’s finest hour. “Flatulence,” she says! [YouTube]

  bye bye
SO MUCH FOR THAT ONE: Sen. Arlen Specter has flipped his long-held stance siding with unions on the Employee Free Choice Act and will now vote against invoking cloture on the measure, which is kind of important, because he very well may have been the deciding vote over a filibuster. It may have ...

RedState Warns: Obama To Seize Internet

  latest swedish model news
A smart person at the RedState blog has discovered an article on the secret website “CNET” about how Barack Obama plans to capture the Internet and run it, more or less. “Total control is their only goal,” warns the intrepid Kenny Solomon. “The ...

GOP Begs Cheney To Go Back In His Hole

  the undead
Remember Dick Cheney? Well, the GOP “leadership” sort of wishes you wouldn’t remember him, because, ha ha, turns out the Entire Nation (with the exception of maybe a dozen wingnut bloggers) actually hates his guts. And there he is on the teevee every day, talking about how ...

Three Festivals Crammed Into One Week

  your week in dc art
Wednesday, March 25: As part of the Francophonie 2009 cultural festival, the Ripley Center will be playing a movie about a French-Canadian family in the ’70s, Histoire de Famille. Oh, goodie, can’t wait. [Francophonie]

America Loves Obama Because He’s Always Around

  nielsen ratings
Hey all you elite cocktail-sipping Georgetown dandies gumming your cucumber sandwiches at tea time: Barack Obama is NOT overexposing himself with the daily live-teevee appearances and “town halls” and Jay Leno guest spots. In fact, this is how you make Americans love you, in this ...

Yes, People Did Go On This Bus Tour Of AIG Executives’ Mansions

  our space conquerors will be so confused
Here’s some thrilling footage of last Saturday’s much-hyped “bus tour” of various AIG executives’ mansions, in Connecticut. The people on this tour… they do not make as much money as the AIG executives. This frustrates them. So they either read letters aloud ...

DNC Primary Commission To Abolish Florida, Michigan

  devious plots
Remember how awesome the news was this time last year, all full of “Hillary Clinton called Barack Obama a plagiarist” and “Mark Penn sucks balls” and that time the governor of New York got caught with an unimaginatively tattooed hooker who had a Hit Song on Myspace for ...

Do Not Be Alarmed By Explosions Tomorrow

  fireballs on the potomac
Hey, this is nifty! If you see a 20- to 30-foot fireball on the Potomac, fear not, it is just some special effects crew working on a teevee show about our exciting FBI. Filming is set for 9:30 AM till noon on Wednesday near the Key Bridge.

  digital manipulation
ABOUT FRIGGING TIME: The delightfully named Finger Interests Number One Ltd. is trying to persuade other Bank of America shareholders to get rid of Ken Lewis and two other people on the bank’s board of directors. Imagine that! Imagine throwing out the terrible bums who just dropped their ...