theater reviews

Blago Dazzles, Baffles In Satirical Show Cameo

America’s favorite hair trap, Rod Blagojevich, appeared in a Second City comedy show on Saturday and made everybody deeply uncomfortable by either not getting the joke or getting it too much. “Everyone in the place was wondering the same thing: How could he sit there and watch ...
  republicans in the news

Your Latest Racist Anti-Obama GOP Facebook Outrage

Oh jesus. Ken is out of the office today, so the task befalls another editor to cover his ever-popular “racist minor-league GOP operative” beat. A buffoon out of South Carolina thought it would be a good idea to post some thing on Facebook comparing Michelle Obama to a gorilla, ...
  republicans in the news

Grow Your Own Squash And Peas Or Starve Forever

The city of Rio de Janeiro is erecting walls around its numerous slums in order to “protect the forests” on the hillsides; these walls also have the possibly-not-unintended side effect of “confining the poors.” [Wall Street Journal] CIA Director Leon Panetta said he ...
  media hires

George W. Bush Also Writes For The Daily Beast

Uhh: “Dad loves the outdoors. He often took me fishing when I was a kid. We’d go fishing for bluefish off the coast of Maine. I learned the skills of fishing from listening to him, and the joy of fishing from watching him. Dad’s a good hunter, too, and one Christmas he gave me ...
  the little muslim votey thing

Everyone Declares Victory In Iranian Election

The polls have closed in Iran’s presidential election and we have a winner: it’s the American neoconservatives’ candidate, beloved hard-right lunatic and homosexual dresser Mahmoud Ahmadinjead! Now we get to bomb them because why not? The dick won! The dick won! In other news, ...
  comment of the day

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: We liked this one because it was sciency, and in a post about education, too: “Between the lazy fartsack (larval) stage, and the sneering workaholic (adult) phase, there’s also that stoner, introspective, layabout stage, where the whole of America’s college ...
  friday afternoon fun fact

Is Sarah Palin Going Bald?

What is up with this alarmingly bang-less Palin hairdo, over here? Is it not a trifle wig-like? And there’s something familiar about that mouth …
  desperate acts

Poppy Bush Jumps Out Of Plane To ‘Celebrate’ Birthday

George H.W. Bush periodically flings himself out of planes to mark the passing of another depressing half-decade in the twilight years of a disappointed old man whose presidency fell squarely into the “unimpressive” column until his son’s presidency showed us what unimpressive ...
  sack of retards

YOU MUST WATCH FOX & FRIENDS DISCUSS THE UIGHURS’ RELEASE TO VARIOUS ISLAND NATIONS: Thank you Gawker for having video interns to capture the marvelous nonsense from this morning’s edition of Fox & Friends, the topic being “these Uighur characters,” in the ...
  hmm!

WHO IS THIS DEPENDENT CHILD? Now what is this we see in the Senate financial disclosures: “Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and his wife, Cindy, owe more than $15,000 on a joint credit card that is charging 25 percent interest; Cindy McCain owes between $15,000 and $50,000 on another charge ...
  freedom on the march

Neocons Pulling Hard For Ahmadinejad

America’s neoconservatives simply do not care for democratic or reformist movements arising organically among the citizens of tyrannical nations. What is America supposed to do, right? Who are these “self-interested” clowns crowding out the strong arm of the American military, ...
  be careful shep!

Shepard Smith About To Get Eated

Certain loser co-editors tell your editor that this Shepard Smith video is “a couple of days old,” and apparently the entire nation watches the teevee at 3 p.m. on weekdays so yeah, OLD NEWS IS OLD, etc., but for maybe the last dozen dignified people in America who DON’T watch ...
  security risks

Evil Death Demon Terrorizes American Heartland

GAHHH!!! Not… not cool. But what is it? Heartland operative “obfuscator” writes: “These photos were taken in Springfield, Illinois, maybe 20 yards away from the Old State Capitol… I have no idea what the fuck this thing is all about. The sign on the flatbed trailer ...
  film and stage

DC Is Once Again a Wonderful, Magical Place

It Is Back: Screen on the Green is back! DCers were devastated when it was canceled.  There were riots in the streets, people were twittering like mad, there may have been hearings on Capitol Hill, and who knows what other displays of unnecessary emotion all due to the demise of an outdoor film ...
  educational reform

American Kids Are Lazy And Stupid

No surprises here, folks: while American adults work obsessively for 51 weeks out of the year and sneer at the French, who take the whole month of August to go to the beach while their elderly citizens quietly expire at home, American YOUTHS are just lazy fartsacks who get three whole months a ...
  smokable greens

Lettuce: America’s Silent Killer

Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much time America’s leaders spend just farting around the House and Senate floor, talking COMPLETE NONSENSE. For example: this Indiana loon recently felt compelled to follow up on some other congressperson’s important comparison between ...
  comics curmudgeon

WRONG WRONG WRONG

By the Comics Curmudgeon Look, one of the things we namby-pamby liberals get critiqued for is our inability to just stand up and show some moral courage, to say that some things are right and some are wrong. Usually we’re all like “Oh, there’s context” or ...
  important trends

DOOMED BY DEMOGRAPHICS: Mike Murphy says that thing that a lot of people have been saying, which is that Republicans are screwed forever if they cannot figure out how to get Latinos and young people to vote for them. But also this: “Waiting and hoping didn’t do much for the ...
  important trends

Today We Are All Green-Fingered Iranian Babes

Iran holds a big important election today, one that may see the hardline incumbent president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad replaced with a more progressive figure, Mir Hossein Mousavi, for whom all the hot girls are voting. [Al Jazeera] The Holocaust Museum will open after a day of mourning for the ...