comment of the day

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In response to this post about bulbous adulterer crybaby Newt Gingrich twit-bitching about Sonia Sotomayor while he was visiting Auschwitz (!) today, Wonkette commenter GuruKalehuru offered this sad assessment of America’s dumbest fad for old people: “This ...
  the vetting of sonia sotomayor

Sotomayor’s Magical Bean Foods Make Her Hate White People More

Those popinjays at The Hill have confused the dickens out of the American Internet today with a snippet regarding the Insta-Classic Sotomayor speech — you know, the one where she says she hates dumb white people, because she’s racist. In the speech she “claims” to like ...
  whaaa?

Joe Sestak Tells Folks He’s Running For Senate

Noooo this is not fair to poor Arlen Specter, who debased and humiliated himself by switching over to the Democrat party and cavorting with filthy hedonists like Earth, Wind and Fire in exchange for a permanent Senate sinecure. In fact Joe Biden agreed to personally mash the reproductive organs ...
  yes

IS GAY MARRIAGE A THREAT TO OUR CULTURE? “If you haven’t noticed, gays make most of our culture. They write our teevee shows and Broadway musicals and even books, for those who can still read. They are the world’s entertainers, designers and bloggers. And nothing threatens the ...
  twitter in real life

Robert Gibbs Responds To Fat Unemployed Adulterer’s Twitter

CBS White House correspondent Chip Reid, who famously loves Dick Cheney so much, brought a very important News Question to today’s briefing with Robert Gibbs: hey Gibbs, you seen this racism deal on Newt Gingrich’s “blog,” you know, the thing he wrote on his blog about ...
  coming out parties

DNC To Officially Gay-Coronate Arlen Specter Tonight

Arlen Specter, what’s up with that guy, right. He’s a Democrat now! And being a Democrat means you have to do terrible abortion things in Hollywood, all the time, with Muslims: “Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA) will make his debut appearance this evening at a national Dem event since ...
  teabagger hijinks

Leftovers From March 2009: Hey, It’s The Bailout Song!

Watch this it’s a great video! Bailout Bailout SHA NA NA NA NA, yay! How did we discover this terrible Internet video? The performers here, the Rivoli Revue — “of ‘Press One For English’ fame” — are of course part of a much larger conspiracy to burn ...
  embarrassing secrets

Supreme Court Nominee Is A Poor

What is wrong with this Sonia Sotomayor, that she is not sitting on a fat pile of cash like most upstanding citizens? Her financial disclosure forms suggest she’s got in the neighborhood of $100,000 socked away, which is not terribly impressive for a fancy judge who has had her fancy ...
  groundhog day

Bernie Kerik Indicted … Again

As periodic as the Indian monsoons are the indictments of Rudy Giuliani’s best friend, Bernie Kerik. He was nearly made the Secretary of Homeland Security in 2004, but then he had to withdraw his nomination on account of “nanny problems,” which is DC slang for “a closet ...
  nom nom nom

Judge Sotomayor Gets Eated By Obama’s TellyPrompTERZ

The star of President Obama’s big announcement yesterday was, as usual, his teleprompters, which obscured the view of his (fairly short?) Supreme Court nominee. Then they shot mind-rays into her brain and finally consumed her. What will this Sotomayor character do when she’s on the ...
  quitters

Anthony Weiner Not Running For NYC Mayor

Man, we kinda liked this guy! He was (is?) dating that pretty gal from the Clinton campaign, and he recently dared to say something not entirely positive about Jon Stewart, and hell, he is not Michael Bloomberg, all of which made him a refreshingly human-seeming type to run for New York Mayor. ...
  quitters

Gruesome News Day

A massive car bomb in Lahore killed at least 23 people and injured 300, leaving an eight-foot crater and “a vista of flattened concrete and destruction.” [New York Times] Republicans will bitch about President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, but in the end they don’t ...
  pornography

TUCKER CARLSON TO SAVE THE INTERNET: Check it out, a fancy new clicky-clicky! “Pundit Tucker Carlson publicly announced Tuesday that a right-leaning news site resembling the Huffington Post he’s been planning will go live within weeks … ‘Tell the truth, and be ...
  nom nom nom

Royal Canadian Governor Eats Heart Of Baby Seal

JESUS CHRIST, CANADA. Wonkette Loonie operative “David” writes that where he lives, in Canada, “The Representative of Her Majesty the Queen has raised the profile of the Monarchy in Canada by grabbing the beating heart out of a baby seal and eating live on camera.” ...