Wonkette

HOW COME GOD INVENTED RATIONAL THOUGHT UNLESS HE WANTED US TO SHOOT IT AND GRILL IT? “If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?” Going Rogue, page 133. [via Slate]

Watch Sarah Palin go on and on about Iraq in response to the question of what the US should do about Ahmadinejad and a nuclear Iran. She says “Iraq” twice, which, according to reality, is different from Iran, the country the Iranian President is the president of. Andrew Sullivan this fact’s already been checked! [the invaluable TPMtv]

Much like your Wonkette, Fox News also enjoys assigning comical file names to photographs. Although “Obama_WarCouncil_doomsday”? Ehh. A bit overwrought, as all those words mean the same thing. Thanks to URL Spy “Ryan L.” [monster; WarCouncil_doomsday; japan_monster]

UPDATE: Some Fox intern wrote in to Andrew Sullivan! Unlearn everything you thought you knew about FOX jpegs, stat. MORE »

Guess what your Barack Obama picked up in South America? Oh nothing, just a tae kwon do black belt given to him by South Korean President Lee Myung-bak, also a black belt. Barry posed for exactly one (1) photo in which he curled his fingers into a loose ball and raised his arm in a vague forward gesture, and now what, we’re just supposed to suddenly find him qualified to teach our kids martial arts after school?? Someone please award the belt posthumously to Ronald Reagan. [Top of the Ticket]

• Meet Harry Reid & the Senate’s Health Care Bill: $849 billion, 2,074 pages, no insurance for abortions or illegal immigrants, other characteristics, etc. [CNN]
• Despite really maxing out every copy editor’s patience with the word “contentious,” Hamid Karzai was sworn-in for another five-year term as President of Afghanistan.  [New York Times]
• Eric Holder took questions from 9/11 families about KSM’s trip to New York. [Washington Post]
• Obama wants to do a free-trade deal with South Korea. Give it a week after this thing goes through that “SKaFTA” is not the name of some 16-year-old’s Bouncing Souls cover band. [WSJ]
• Quarantining people isn’t doing much to stop swine flu from killing us all to death. [AP]
• Ireland will not be granted that Fifa World Cup playoff rematch, no matter how unfair the Irish justice minister thinks that handball thing was. [Guardian]

We haven’t been hearing much from everyone’s favorite wacky Iowan coot, Senator Chuck Grassley, ever since the Senate Finance Committee passed its health care bill without any help or input whatsoever from the “chief Republican negotiator,” who was busy bottoming out. So today your sentimental editor went to the YouTube and searched “grassley” in the off-chance he’d been up to anything recently. First result, boom. [YouTube]

Cupcakes On Wheels: DC now has its very own cupcake truck, which is essential because you should never, ever have to walk far to buy a cupcake. Or Indian food. Or Korean food. Or whatever else you can buy from a truck in DC. [Curbside Cupcakes] MORE »

• More fancy graphics in support of taxing marijuana cigarettes. [Hit & Run]
• Matt is very worried about nonchalant archeologists digging up nuclear waste just for the fun of it. [Matt Yglesias]
• Here is your masturbatory WHAT IF? of the day: WHAT IF Barack Obama is fatally electrocuted by a stingray BUT Joe Biden doesn’t want to be president SO Senator Byrd — who is old! — becomes president because he’s president pro tempore of the Senate? [The Corner]
• Erick Erickson had an intimate discussion with Sarah Palin at a WaPo salon (?). [RedState]
• The Anti-Defamation League continues to protect Barack Obama from Jew-haters. [The Caucus]

• HERE YOU GO: The ABSOLUTELY TRUE (completely arbitrary) conventional wisdom regarding the CBO’s scoring of Harry Reid’s Senate health care bill has been that it needs to come in at less than $900 billion, or the entire reform effort would collapse, and Trig’s army would finally seize its opportunity cross the Rubicon. The report’s coming out now: $849 billion. Now, for Harry Reid, it’s just a matter of convincing several members of his own party to not join Republicans in a filibuster to block this important bill from reaching an open debate on the Senate floor. Debates have well-known Stalinist agendas, according to a website. [Politico]

How to make a Comedy Film: go to one of Sarah Palin’s book signings, walk near the front of the line (where they’ve been waiting for several hours), find the folks with the wackiest We Love Sarah-style t-shirts, preferably covered in stickers declaring even more support for Sarah Palin, introduce yourself to them, *make sure the camera is rolling,* and then ask basically any question. [YouTube]

Texas Rep. John Culberson is a jackass, and yesterday he wrote a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. He requested help with something, internationally. So what was his pressing concern for the nation’s top diplomat? MORE »