Wonkette

So last night in the debate John McCain mentioned this despicable project Barack Obama supported, Chicago-style, by throwing 3 million of taxpayers’ dollars at some overhead projector in a planetarium. It was made of pork! Which is just weird, since Muslims aren’t supposed to like pigs, or celestial navigation. MORE »

AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM IN THE TANK: Remember that sleazy Chicago guy, Tony Rezko, who sold Barack Obama a backyard for the Obama house so those cute little girls could play outside? Well, “U.S. District Judge Amy St. Eve indefinitely delayed Rezko’s Oct. 28 sentencing date and told the parties to meet again for a status in the case in December.” [Chicago Sun-Times]

Several weeks ago, a brave Computer Hacker proved to an anxious nation that at least one citizen still has an operating brain and can use it to crack difficult computer codes like “Where did you meet your spouse?” Authorities believe they have found the terrible miscreant who broke into Sarah Palin’s Yahoo account, and today he was indicted by a federal grand jury. Sounds fancy! MORE »

Oh hell here is your dumb graphic that you have already seen on a million Left-wing Liberal Media Blogs this morning, because why not. Only other news is our little subprime mortgage meltdown suddenly becoming a world-devouring financial virus that has ushered in a Global Panic, so we hope you have been hoarding your pinto beans and corn husks! They are all you will have to eat for the next five (5) years. But hey what about that time John McCain sort of half-gestured in Barack Obama’s direction and called him “that disrespectful colored”? Hilarious! ["That One" 08]

Oh here is a cheery “hump day” cartoon for your New Depression, courtesy of Jeff Danziger. [DANZIGER CARTOONS]

Hey look who was on The Colbert Report last night — everybody’s new secret boyfriend, the esteemed baseball stats dork Nate Silver! He calls John McCain the Seattle Pilots, which is apparently funny? The point is, if this guy does not have a book deal and a standing job offer from Barack Obama by November 5, we will eat our hats. [Colbertnation]

Seriously, what was up with that super boring debate last night? John McCain was supposed to call Barack Obama a terrorist pal, and then Barack Obama was supposed to say “Hey man that is just wrong” and rip off McCain’s testicles and sauté them gently before feeding them to Tom Brokaw with un sauce béarnaise which is precisely how an elitist is supposed to confront a grizzled old war hero in a Town Hall. Instead we got a lot of respectful disagreement, which was dull. Sure, the reaction last night was bad enough. But witness this morning’s sad collection of headlines: MORE »

• Campaign advisors for “that one” did not like it last night when John McCain was SO DISRESPECTFUL to the Democratic candidate. [Washington Wire]
• The banking crisis has crossed the Pacific, and now various Asian governments as well as Australia are putting more money into their systems to prevent a further spread of badness. [Bloomberg]
• The British are also bailing out their banks. [New York Times]
• Will the Canadians be our new Chinese bankers? [Bloomberg]
• The one big beneficiary of this financial meltdown: our U.S. Treasury market, which has seen prices soar as frightened investors note their mattresses are already stuffed and they need someplace stable to put their money. [Reuters]
• A couple of body language experts watched the debate last night and one pronounced John McCain “warm and fuzzy.” [Los Angeles Times]
• Russia began its final pull-out of the “buffer zone” around South Ossetia, but they are staying in the areas they seized during this summer’s brief war with Georgia. [Guardian]

Here it is again, my friends. It is also here. And here’s the fun entire debate, via C-SPAN, after the jump. MORE »

That debate was more boring than, uh… more boring than a Nordic opera singer being interviewed on Charlie Rose! More boring than the short-lived Pat Sajak Sunday night talk show on Fox News! MORE BORING THAN DAVID BROOKS SPARRING WITH ELEANOR CLIFT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION. Meaning, Obama didn’t say anything nutty, and Walnuts just made a bunch of jokes about Jell-O and green ears and colored people. Let’s see how other “people on the Internet” are reacting. Hint: Sullivan has a strong opinion! MORE »

This is the first time your editor has really paid attention to those squiggly lines on the CNN independent voter torture graph. Wow! The uncommitted voters of Ohio do not like this John McCain character. The only time we’ve seen a real happy response to McCain was when he was talking very generally (and quite well) about America’s history as a “peacekeeper.” (Ha.) And then he had to snarl and say “this isn’t the time for on-the-job training,” and the male and female lines went down like the stock market. What does it mean? MORE »

Oh boy howdy this has been a bunch of yammering interspersed with Tom Brokaw complaining about how long the yammering has been going on. Did you miss some of this important blah de blah? Well here they are in serial fashion: Part I, Part II, Part III, and that brings us to Part IV. If this were Star Wars, we’d just be getting to the good stuff. For example, after the jump you will find a little clip of John McCain calling Barack Obama “that one.” Now onward, onward. MORE »

The New Great Depression hobo pictured here is Joe Biden, getting on the hobo train from Washington to Delaware to tend to his adult children. Joe Biden therefore cannot debate tonight, so lil’ old Hopey will have to debate against the old fart in his place. Who can pretend he will fix the economy more to these town hall people? Are any of them hot? No they are fat, and Barack Obama will drop air bombs on them or whatever is it Palin says. (Here are Part I and Part II.) MORE »

If there was ever a time for an old-fashioned community meetin’ at the old town hall, what with the world comin’ to an end and such, that time is now, brothers and sisters. But, we can’t even do a Great Depression right, so get ready for a lot of inane questions submitted via Twitter on the Internet or whatever, as McCain prepares to challenge Obama on the question of whether black people should even be allowed to vote, let alone run for president. MORE »