Gonna fuck you up!

Robert Mueller Already Knows How Guilty Trump Is, So Screw An Interview

SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED, YOU'RE FUCKING GUILTY.

This Is Stupid Watergate. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 13, 2018

James Comey spills the beans, Trump wants ANOTHER mulligan, and Michael Cohen recorded EVERYTHING! Your morning news brief!

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW 30-YEAR-OLD BABY, DONALD TRUMP!

ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY!

Armed Teachers Update: Are We Safe Yet?

Reducing the availability of guns? Well now you're just talking nonsense, mister.
read us a story Uncle Jim!

White House Plan To Vanquish LYIN’ COMEY Is They Don’t Know Yet, Fuck It

Gotta wait to see what President JingleFarts tweets while he's sitting on the shitter!

Is There More ICE Fuckery And Evil Today? Is It A Day In 2018?

This isn't even close to normal. This will take years for the light to normal to reach.
Seriously, we literally never watch you pee

Anchorage, Alaska, Voters Tell Bathroom Panty Sniffers To FUCK OFF

Alaska Bible-thumpers losing the Culture Wars. Oh. How sad.

Steve Bannon Gonna Show Trump How To Dissolve Russia Investigation In An Acid-Filled Bathtub

'Legal Expert' Steve Bannon's advice to Trump: ACT AS GUILTY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

Expert Multi-Tasker Donald Trump Still Finds Time To Sue His Way Out Of Taxes

Nobody has to say 'Don't ever change, Donald.' He's utterly incapable of not being a small-time crook at heart.

Now Is The Time For Fifty Shades Of Missouri Gov Eric Greitens To GET THE FUCK OUT

The party of family values strikes again!
he was just trying to help Mis-turrr Twump!

What The Hell Did The Feds Want From Michael Cohen? We Are Getting A Glimmer Of An Idea!

MASSIVE CAMPAIGN FINANCE FRAUD. That is what this is all about. WE THINK.

Bannon’s Back! Back Again! Bannon’s Back! Tell A Friend! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 12, 2018

Trump can't make up his mind on Syria, Eric Greitens is a creepy sex monster, and Mark Zuckerberg really is an asshole. Your morning news brief.

Have You Met Our New Writers, A Nice Lady And Wonderbitch?

We can do so many activities!

Fuck You Paul Ryan, The Pope Hates You And You’re Going To Hell

We bet Donald Trump is gonna miss him real bad, for sure.

Which GOP Congressman Cussed Trump To Erick Erickson At The Safeway? A WONKVESTIGATION!

A Republican member of Congress HAAAAAATES Trump. But they only tell their secrets to Erick Erickson! :(
judge dredd figurine

Justice Department Helping Immigrants Get Home Sooner By Ending Legal Aid

This here 'Justice' Department may need a new moniker.

David Horowitz Says Lynching Wasn’t Racist, Except Against Whites

Y'all know this fucking Horowitz prick?
DOESN'T SAY LIES

Wait, Trump LIED His Spray-Tanned Nuts Off About James Comey? How Could That BEEEEE?

WHOA HEY, somebody else kept the receipts, and his name is Dana Boente!

EPA Guy Shitcanned For Deciding ‘Scott Pruitt Sux Donkeys’ Isn’t A Death Threat

Paranoid Dickweasel Is Paranoid, Dickweasel

Oh, Shit! He’s Really Going To Do It! Everybody PANIC!

They say marching is the new brunch!
Advising people on the economics of death.

Bakersfield’s Sheriff Wants You To Die

Ignore the fact that Kern County is America's deadliest for police shootings, this was *out of context* man!
Gonna fuck you up!

Here Is Some Robert Mueller News, Because Trump’s Ass Wasn’t Itching Enough!

Late breaking news in the Mueller investigation, because that's something new and different!