Sarah Palin invites us all to unite behind true 'revolutionary' Donald Trump.

With Donald Trump the presumptive Republican nominee, Tuesday night and Wednesday morning have been time for much panic, many gnashing of the teeth for the NeverTrump folks. It's kind of cute to see their...

As if Frostees weren't already gross enough (shut up, it's just half-melted soft-serve in a goddamned soda cup, they're disgusting), customers apparently have a new thing to be concerned with: razor blades hidden like...

Are you a big fan of Pixar who struggles daily to communicate your homophobic values to your cartoon children? The Jehovah's Witnesses have a solution for you. Do you get squicked out when you...

What's a fast food company to do when duly elected government officials enact a law designed to make companies treat their workers like human beings? In McDonald's case, the answer is "sue all the...

Wonkette Business

Hello citizens! It is I, Sara Benincasa, longtime Wonkette contributor and longer-time Wonkette commenter. I am here to tell you about my new book, Real Artists Have Day Jobs, which you can obtain via...

How long has it been since you examined your box? Do you like to examine it in the morning, when the sunlight hits it just right? When you examine your box, tell us, is...
Truck Fump never looked so good

Do you, like all sentient beings on the planet, have a violently strong distaste for presidential candidate Donald J. Trump (nee Drumpf)? Of course you do! Do you, like so very many others, feel the...

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Well, yes, that's outrageous all right. Guy's beard looks TERRIBLE

You'd sort of think that 49 years after Loving v. Virginia, nobody would be much bothered by media depictions of interracial couples, but that would probably be because you actually do think, instead of...
Someone help him, please

Oh hey, Bill Kristol, how's it hangin'? You out there in America somewhere, bein' wrong? Duh, of course. So, in case you didn't know, Bill Kristol, the man who is never always wrong, has been...
We won't have Ted Cruz's lip booger to kick around anymore

Following his loss in the Indiana primary, Ted Cruz announced he is suspending his campaign. Donald Trump is now pretty much the nominee, unless the GOP establishment can figure out a way to travel...

OH HEY INDIANA, LOOK AT YOUR HANDSOME ASSES RIGHT NOW! You are doing #Democracy, by voting in your presidential primary! You better go fast though, because polls close at 6 PM local time, which...

Video shows random lady in Walmart losing her shit on a young father buying food with food stamps.
She seems nice

If you'd like a vision of the Constitutional Paradise espoused by militia loons and rightwing super patriots like Richard Mack, founder of the "Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association" (CSPOA), which insists that county...
Yep.

So here's a thing that happened in Indianapolis Monday: Donald Trump had lunch with his now-exonerated Head Thug Corey Lewandowski, his social media director (and former golf caddie) Dan Scavino, and a dude who...

Y'all listen up, for we actually have a #NiceTime involving gaywad-sexuals what live in Mississippi! We mentioned when we reported on the state's horrific, most-insane-in-the-nation "religious freedom" bill, that a mean federal judge had...

Rick Scott hopes a recent minimum wage hike in California will cause businesses to move to Florida, where they can pay workers less.

Did you hear about the breaking news about how on top of how Ted Cruz is maybe the Zodiac Killer, his dry-drunk dad might have been Lee Harvey Oswald's fluffer when he murdered our...
Well done, Maine Lege!

A nice-time update, at least insofar as anything involving opioid overdoses can be considered "nice": On Friday, the Maine Legislature voted overwhelmingly to override Gov. Paul LePage's veto of a bill to allow pharmacists...
that's the devil in your pants

Let's get one thing out of the way: Kirk Cameron is cute. This is why it such a screaming shame he fell in with the wrong crowd and became a creationist dickweasel fundamentalist Christian....

Inside the secret illuminati plot to depopulate the world and deprive Roosh V of a wife that will make him all the sandwiches.
thanks seattle

Ugh, Starbucks, really? You're going to try to tackle actual serious societal problems again, now in Ferguson, Missouri, no less? Okay, fine, how are you falling on your face this time? Wait ... Starbucks'...
The Gun Is Good

Nevada Assemblywoman, congressional candidate, and all around gunstrumpet Michele Fiore has been thinking long and hard about what freedom means, and what freedom means to her is apparently the inalienable right to get yourself...

Oh look, Fox News is being racially transcendent again! We predicted after the White House Correspondents Dinner, AKA Nerd Prom, that the race experts at Fox News and other shining lights of the wingnut-igentsia would...

Heidi Cruz would like to tell all you people that Ted Cruz is not the Zodiac Killer. Then again, that's exactly what you'd expect the wife of the Zodiac Killer to say, now isn't...
They're also checking for penguins on the telly

Watch out, lady shoppers! There may be men dressing up as women and coming into the ladies' biffy at your local Target, and if there are, chances are they're crusading morons from the American...

Sad news about the global warming hoax, you guys. Turns out that the liberal scientists are so committed to their big lie that they're going to go down to Antarctica and melt all the...
Nothin's gonna stop him now... oh, shoot.

You may remember former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore, who was, at least on paper, an actual Republican candidate for president longer than Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Rick Santorum, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, George Pataki...