Nestlé hearts poisoned babies, child slaves and taking water from small towns.

Everything you never wanted to know about tonight's debate!

What is a lie? It is a thing Donald Trump cannot do, according to campaign manager Kellyanne Conway, because first he would have to know a thing.

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

You don't bring me Flowers anymore.

A 15-year-old girl in Maryland got pepper-sprayed in the face for not being helpful to the police while she was riding her bike.

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!
So there.

Can Hillary unhinge Donald? Doesn't he come pre-unhinged?
Unclear whether it's the Clinton or Trump foundation. If the workers never got paid, it's Trump's.

Oh, look! Both presidential candidates have charitable foundations. And you can probably guess which one is a real charity.

Singer-songwriter and Wonkette pal Jill Sobule is doing a badass project called My Song Is My Weapon, to bring the protest song into the modern era. You should know about it!

Probably the scariest thing, to me, about the idea of a Trump presidency is that we as a country will be rewarding and validating...

Is there real estate porn in this post? YOU BET YOUR ASS.
The Thin Blue Line

Good lord, we're actually praising the justice system in Oklahoma. It may not become a habit.

If this isn't enough to make you vote against Trump, then nothing is.
Portrait of volunteer Karen Green by 12-year-old refugee kid. Note: glittery stars could be used as shrapnel in a bomb.

A few reminders that real Americans aren't as dumb as Donald Trump wants them to be.

Have you taken your daily vitamins yet today? I hope so! But in addition to that, I've also got a hefty dose of RED...

These people need to understand only Donald Trump gets to say racist stuff with impunity

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

He will increase the national debt bigly!
The eyes seem to follow your wallet around the room

Donald Trump doesn't have to follow the same financial rules other people do. It's so obvious when you think about it.