Health care reform shocker: American Indians are not subject to the Hitlerous insurance mandate. Why does Barack Obama not want Indians vaccinated against smallpox? [New York Times]
Still not clear on when you’ll be sent to the Death Panels? Read on. [Associated Press]
Hillary Clinton is going to tell AIPAC to stuff it, politely. [Haaretz]
When billionaires start running in political races, those races mysteriously begin to involve a lot more money. [Reuters]
Is the Bagram air base the new Guantanamo plus Abu Ghraib? [Los Angeles Times]
President Obama is personally footing the bill for the servicing of US Treasury debt, while the real president (Warren Buffett) enjoys more favorable bond terms. [Bloomberg]
Somehow, holding only the White House plus big majorities in the House and Senate after an epic 2008 victory in which Communism (”overwhelming majority of American voters”) defeated America, the Fascists have “passed their health care reform legislation” using “Chicago mob rules” known as “popularly elected legislators passing laws.” NOBAMA, EVER. And now Nancy Pelosi and her Klingon devil leader, Barack Hitler Obama, will speak to a grateful nation! Let’s go get our anal exams, together. MORE »
The first of two major votes, now! Get ready for 25 Democrats to turn on their yes votes and run for the hills… UPDATE: This thread actually covers both votes! A twofer! Click to see who won! MORE »
JOHN BOEHNER IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE: John Boehner is SCREAMING, in his closing argument. His orange is turning red, or reddish-orange (rust??). Did he intentionally abstain from getting a nic-fix before his speech, just so he’d be crabbier? No, he’s just an asshole. Oh look, it just ended! Here comes Nancy Pelosi…
Former/current/whatever Wonkette videographer Liz Glover joined your editor today for a jaunt to the grassy knoll that Congress’ south side overlooks, where today’s lingering health care protesters (the ones who hadn’t yet fucked off for the Sizzler) were staring up at the House of Representatives’ balcony to yell, chant, and sing against this bill that extends a very basic sense of lawfulness to the individual insurance market. It was a beautiful spring day in the Mid-Atlantic, which inspired Liz to wave her Axis Of Evil mini-flags in celebration. Just had ‘em in her bag of stuff, like every Patriot should. MORE »
NEW YORK TIMES NOT REALLY CUT OUT FOR LIVEBLOGGING: “Mr. Hoyer begins recognizing ‘little punk staffers,’ a reference to a derisive character made by Representative John Boehner, the minority last week …. ” Is this a known language? [NYT]
The Wonkette news-room is On Assignment, with Jim Newell and Liz Glover on Capitol Hill just cold getting drunk and taking videos and photographs. We will post these once we have them. Meanwhile, the House is about to vote on the Slaughterhouse Five rule, which requires every fifth Republican representative to “have an abortion,” on CSPAN. MORE »
STUPAK TO BLAB ANY SECOND NOW: Bart Stupak and his six or so slaves are about to give a press conference — crikey they’re doing it now! — probably announcing that they’re satisfied with Obama’s plan to write a non-binding letter saying “abortion is bad” and ending the holdout. Sounds like a better idea than outlawing abortion entirely. Let’s see… UPDATE: They’ve reached an agreement! Obama has promised that he will, indeed, compose a Sternly Worded Letter about ladies and their hoohas. Great ten-month stand, Stupak!
This clown, Devin Nunes, has been on CSPAN for the last hundred hours basically doing this. It’s funny until actual people call in, like this one Republican guy who admitted in a sort of embarrassed way how government health care saved his life, because he’s a veteran and got VA care when no insurance company would cover him, and Nunes said something like, “Well VA hospitals are notoriously inefficient, which is why health care reform is totalitarianism.” What?
Very easy to call, on your sext-fone, ask for your Congressional Representative, and quickly/politely say “Pass the Health Care, sincerely, a Concerned American,” and then you can go back to World of Warcraft/cleaning the garage. (Your editor is cleaning the garage. Happy Spring Fuckin’ Equinox!) ((Which was yesterday.)) If you do not know the name of your congressperson or the district, find out here. No wait here. Together, we can quit having to write about health care reform.
Sadly, the best place to follow last-minute whip count developments is on the Twitter, America’s journalism machine. Everyone’s goin’ nuts and stone cold contradictin’ each other about how the incompetent dragon Bart Stupak will vote. Will it be “yes,” “no,” “up,” or “potato”?
HAHAHAHAH. Nancy Pelosi loves pissing off teabaggers. Here she is linking arms with John Lewis, just like in the Selma march, to remind America of how teabaggerschanted “nigger” at John Lewis fifteen times yesterday. And if anyone gets in her way, she will smash their skulls into sandhills of calcium with her Weapon, the “1965 Medicare gavel,” forged by ancient socialist hobbits in a distant epoch, as a paean to Thor. [YouTube]
And, while those couple-hundred racist homophobeanti-semites limped around Capitol Hill on Saturday yelling about how Obama is Hitler because poor people should have basic health care, many thousands of anti-war protesters marked the seventh (?!) anniversary of America’s invasion and occupation of Iraq. [YouTube]
JOHN BOEHNER IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE: John Boehner is SCREAMING, in his closing argument. His orange is turning red, or reddish-orange (rust??). Did he intentionally abstain from getting a nic-fix before his speech, just so he’d be crabbier? No, he’s just an asshole. Oh look, it just ended! Here comes Nancy Pelosi…
Very easy to call, on your sext-fone, ask for your 
Sadly, the best place to follow last-minute whip count developments is on the Twitter, America’s journalism machine. Everyone’s goin’ nuts and stone cold contradictin’ each other about how the incompetent dragon Bart Stupak will vote. Will it be “yes,” “no,” “up,” or “potato”?