Wonkette

Nice try, but no cigar, lovers of science in the Pelican State. For the fourth time since the Doublespeaky “Louisiana Science Education Act” (LSEA) was passed in 2008, an attempt to repeal the law has been shot down, by a 3-1 vote in the Senate Education Committee. This means that teachers in the Great State […]

It’s been all of three days since we checked in with horrible shell of a human being Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin and her merry band of state GOPers. A week before that, we saw them kicking the poor in the teeth again and again by banning minimum wages and sick days. You knew that would […]

Hey ladies! How’s it hanging? And by “it,” I mean your engorged clitoris, which you are currently diddling because of Satan and lust and sadness and idolatry and the “void” that is your ginny. Let’s all get out our hand mirrors and hold them up to inspect … OUR SOULS! READ MORE

OK, sure, you may have thought that Gabriel García Márquez, who died last week, was a pretty good writer, but the Washington Post‘s Charles Lane just wants to remind you that García Márquez was also a communist, and entirely too close to Fidel Castro to actually count as someone worth remembering. Lane, the genius who […]

You will probably not be surprised to learn that here at yr Wonkette we think that porn is a totally respectable way to earn a living, presuming, of course, that consent and equal power and equity and yadda yadda exist. Point is, we don’t discriminate about how you pay the bills. Chase Bank, on the […]

What has the Stupidest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft, got for us today? Besides all the other things he has for us today? WHAT DOESN’T HE HAVE! (Besides our $3150. #paythefuckup.) Take, for instance, this masterpiece, “SHOCK REPORT: Oregon Energy Plant Burns Aborted Babies to Generate Electricity,” in which a bunch of communists are […]

So you got your girlfriend to let you take nekkid pictures of her, of course. So far so normal. But if you are Douglas Tarlow, whose nekkid pix were of Nina Khosla, daughter of Vinod Khosla, batrillionaire founder of Sun Microsystems, you apparently stash those pix away for later sextortion attempts. Big mistake. Big. Huge. […]

How is Barack Obama insulting America’s dignity today? Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, reveals that the weak-willed absolute tyrant, whose spineless foreign policy encouraged the Russians to invade Ukraine even as he has dictatorially crammed health insurance down our throats, is now bowing not merely to foreign potentates, but even to foreign […]

In Our Great Nation’s short history, we have created many uniquely American traditions: Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Patriots’ Day, free refills on soda, and electing members of the Bush family to the White House. Jeb Bush, the Bush son who probably should have run for the office the first time around, because Jeb did not get […]

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Rossiters, who are your new people to hate the mostest today. You know how everyone is going around refusing to vaccinate their kids because they’re pretty sure they know more than doctors? Those people are wimps. The real deal is just stone cold refusing to give your kids medical care […]

Jon Stewart clearly had entirely too much fun Tuesday replying to Sean Hannity’s pissy little tirade about Jon Stewart’s coverage of Hannity’s hypocritical coverage of the Bundy Ranch Freedom Cow Jamboree. Round three of the volley was just about everything you could want from a Daily Show segment. READ MORE

Remember Eric Cantor? Republican from Virginia, Majority Leader for his caucus in the House, perpetually looks like a guy entering his ninth day of trying to poop out a dildo that some overly enthusiastic District hooker shoved so far up his rectum that it lodged against his liver? Yeah, that guy. Cantor has been angling […]

Here’s some welcome news! In addition to fighting to keep America safe from the nightmare of health insurance, sending out fishwives to scream at cute-milquetoast MSNBC hosts, and bringing rightwing lunacy to improvisational comedy, it would appear that the nice folks in the Koch Bros. squirrel factory have also managed to sponsor a bill aimed […]

Grazing fees scofflaw Cliven Bundy must be feeling pretty confident now that the Bureau of Land Management has backed down on seizing his cattle, he’s surrounded by his own armed militia and his heroism has earned him a three-week-long blowjob from the wingnut media. So confident, in fact, that he decided to expound on some […]

Oh god remember last week on Duggar Family Funtime aka 19 Kids and Counting we had to go watch a quiverfull wedding? This week we have to go to a quiverfull graduation. Truly we have done terrible things in our lives, but nothing that warrants this. Josiah is graduating! We have no idea which one […]