Five Bucks Says Trump Cancels This Press Conference. Your Wonkette Live-Blog!

Did somebody ask about PEE HOOKERS?

Thank You Dearheart Wonkette Lovers!

Thank you for being with us this year. In return, we give you BABY PICTURES.

Here, Have A Drunk Man In Barstow Hollering About Hillary Clinton!

Be like this guy: loud, drunk and stupid, but also POLITICALLY ENGAGED.

I Feel Much Better Now, Thank You! By Me, Your Editrix

Oh Terrible Ones, how sorry I am to have been overwrought at you yesterday, but everything was awful! I was thousands of dollars short to pay Dok and Evan -- and mama keeps her ducks in a row and...

Hey Seattle, You Wanna Park? (TUESDAY! TONIGHT!)

The answer is NO you do NOT want to park, because we have our baaaaby with us, and you are not :/ . What you want to do is meet us at the park, for noshes and chums, the...

Now Is The Time For All Good Wonkers To Come To The Aid Of Our Dick Jokes

Hello there, beautiful wonderful Wonkers we love! You are looking very intelligent today! Is that a new sweater? We need money.
The senator and the trivia question answer.

You Got Your Seattle Drinky Thing In My Senate Sunday! Two Great Tastes, Etc., Etc

They probably won't be up past midnight counting the U.S. Senate ballots in Washington, is what we're saying.


Just kidding, we didn't trick you, you are not DUMM.

Is John Boehner Driving The Wonkebago To The Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing?

No, John Boehner is probably not driving the Wonkebago to the Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing, but a girl can dream, can't she? Join your comrades at the Wonkette Commenter-Owned Cooperative Drinky Thing And Potluck (No Pot) next week! Because...
beat it, poors

What’s Up With All These Dumb Gross Ads At Yr Wonkette Dot Com? A Wonksplainer

Wonkers! There you are, just trying to read your dick jokes in peace, and some fucking thing keeps looping and crashing your browser. Or there's a fucking poll that sounds like it was written by Steven Crowder (it probably...

Hillary Is Lady President Of The World Now, And We Are Going Home

For real, we are getting in the car and going back to Memphis.

Badass Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Gay-Hatin’ Republican Party Platform Is ‘Pathetic’

Nancy Pelosi is talking on the DNC right now, but earlier today she was standing next to yr Wonket!

Oh Hey, Ed Rendell

Wonket made another new friend.

Your Hero Nancy Pelosi Is Tiny And Exquisite, Just Like You Always Imagined

Ooh, look, more fancy pictures of fancy people!