Knock-knock! Ezra Klein, are you there? So. There is sexual predator that rides the same bus as you. He knows your name. He likes you. In a sexual way. Next time you take the bus, look around you. Is there a strange man staring at you as he touches himself? THAT’S HIM! [DCist] MORE »

Saturday, November 7 through Sunday, November 29: Lost In Yonkers, a play about a very dysfunctional Jewish family, will make you 1) regret your decision to go home for Thanksgiving and 2) crave a delicious corned beef sandwich. [Theater J] MORE »

Now that Bob McDonnell is governor of Virginia, who knows what’s in store for blacks and women?!?! So, before the new leadership goes and names more streets after its Civil War heroes, you should visit it on a day trip. It’s just lovely in the fall, what with the leaves and all. MORE »

Wednesday, November 4: If you are even remotely considering cooking for Thanksgiving, we highly, highly recommend attending the Thanksgiving-themed cooking classes at Zola Wine & Kitchen. Shelling out a few extra bucks to learn how to make a turkey is a much better idea than serving a burnt, inedible one on Thanksgiving. [Zola Wine & Kitchen] MORE »

Ha ha, do you have the pig AIDS, because just about everyone in DC has it! Have you sneezed or coughed at all in the last decade? Then it’s definitely the pig AIDS, and you shouldn’t touch anyone, especially small children or old dying people, because you could kill them. There’s no Tamiflu left, oh well, but there are plenty of places in the District where you can get comfort foods that should help make your impending death by swine a bit more bearable. MORE »

Tuesday, November 3: The Center for American Progress has somehow managed to hire God as a Senior Fellow. His All Holiness Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I, the patriarch of Orthodox Christianity, will be discussing the nature of progress, an ever-so-fascinating topic, tomorrow at Georgetown University. [Center for American Progress] MORE »

Tonight through Sunday, November 1: Remember that time when New Orleans was an actual thriving city?  Well, in an apparent FU to the world for doing nothing to save the city, the Classical Theater of Harlem has shifted the setting of classic play Waiting for Godot to New Orleans’ Ninth Ward. Inactivity has never been so captivating, timely and depressing. [Publick Playhouse] MORE »

You network? We should network sometime. Let’s network. Let’s exchange business cards. Faxes. Telegrams. Beepers. E-mail signatures. STDs. Need to network. Need. To. Network. In DC it’s all about who you know. [Why I Hate DC] MORE »

Today through Sunday, November 22: While everyone else is selfishly eating candy and putting together super creative costumes for Halloween, Rosa Mexicana is using the day to honor the dead, because that’s what they do in Mexico. The restaurant has put together a special menu for the occasion, including such delicacies as pumpkin margaritas and stews with duck and other tasty animals.  [Day of the Dead Celebration] MORE »

Your Wonkabout braved the elements to go where no Wonkabout (or Wonkette for that matter) has gone before: the Dupont Circle High Heel Race. For one whole minute the drag queens, in all their glory, ran down Pride Street and, despite the rain and the high heels, there were no reported injuries.  A peak at the festivities: MORE »

Everyone’s favorite day to run around half-naked is right around the corner, and as of now it’s supposed to be in the low 50s and raining. Hooray! Have you picked out your slut costume yet? Popular loser costumes this year include Bernie Madoff, Balloon Boy, a Teabagger (unless you somehow go as the non-protesting kind…), or any celebrity that has too many children. Don’t freeze your ass off, and have a “fun but safe” Halloween by doing what we tell you: MORE »