Science

White House Doc Says President Beef Poots Only Weighs 239 Pounds, So That’s Some Bullshit

Also says Trump has a very good brain, to which we reply LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

REMINDER: Doctors Examining Trump’s Shithole Today At Walter Reed

BAD NEWS, AMERICA: They're not checking his brain.

What A Shithole. Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 12, 2018

Trump calls Caucasianally challenged Not America a 'shithole,' Missouri's governor has some explaining to do, and Russian hackers are ready for 2018. Your morning news brief!

Time To Arrest NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio For Crimes Against Exxon!

Governor Rick Scott for the prosecution!

I’m Not A Collusion, YOU’RE A COLLUSION! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 11, 2018

Someone in the president's office is posting revenge porn, MO gov is ALLEGED sex-crimer, and they're about to do unspeakable things to Medicaid. Your morning news brief!

Ryan Zinke Exempts Florida From Offshore Oil Drilling Plan For Some Mar-A-Lago Reason

Special favors? In the Trump administration? Shut the front door!

It’s Getting Hot In Herre! (Don’t Take Off All Your Clothes.) Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan 10, 2018

Trump-Russia gets WEIRDER, North Carolina is gerrymandered AF, and Ryan Zinke decides not to screw Florida with big, fat, oil rigs. Your morning news brief.
Sometimes he likes to imagine being president

Trump Appointees Accidentally Fuck Over Coal Companies In Name Of Free Market. WHOOPS!

Some ideas are too grifty even for Trump appointees. Go figure!

Trump Reminds Farmers They’re White Like Him. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 9, 2018

Trump lies to farmers (again), the GOP keeps trying to kill Trump-Russia, and 'alt-right' trolls keep getting slapped down. Your morning news brief.

Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma. (OK, Not Actually Uma.) Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan 8, 2018

Steve Bannon apologizes, Oprah gives a speech, and Stephen Miller shits the bed. Your morning news brief.

Ryan Zinke Bringing More Oil Spills To Beaches Near You!

It's a rigged system. A drilling-rigged system, to be precise.

Where’s My Roy Cohn? Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan 5, 2017

Everyone is screwing with Trump-Russia, MORE 'Fire and Fury,' and we FINALLY found Roy Moore's Jew lawyer. (No, a different one, who's not a Jew and not a lawyer.) Your mornings news brief.

BANNON, BANNON, BANNON! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 4, 2018

The lovers' quarrel between Bannon and Trump gets brutal, Trump gets ready to drill, baby, drill, and Ellen DeGeneres invites Eric Trump to her big, gay agenda.

2017: The Year Trump Put The Planet In Its Place

Look, we're trying not to be alarmists or anything. But our house IS on fire.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Sorry, Erica Garner

Gather round, Wonkers, time to put the year in a garbage can, light it on fire, and warm our hobo hands upon it!

Donald Trump Laughing About Climate Change Again Because Fuck Puerto Rico, Right?

If he hasn't learned science in 71 years, he won't learn it now.