He literally refuses to go away.
The feds need some better prosecutors, maybe.
It's like that Monopoly game at the grocery store, but you can win a root canal.
Well shoot, guess nobody will remember the Civil War now.
Abortion Reversal is OMG so hot right now!!
Trump tries to trickle down on the poors, Republicans try to kill Medicaid, and Alex Jones is being sued for yogurt libel! Your morning news brief!
Nobody wants to pay for Trump's wall, Hannity got hands-on, the late-night news wars have begun! Your morning news brief!
How random is Arkansas's Death Penalty? Pretty goddamn random.
Trump breaks up with Julian Assange, Alex Jones's custody battle got WHOO BOY NASTY, and Jason Chaffetz wants you to know his pooper is sparkling clean! Your morning news brief!
Not only are community colleges tyrannical, they might attract hordes of Muslims who'll do 'weird stuff.'
Nothing adds to a sexxytime political scandal like some hellfire preaching from the sinning politician's pastor.
Patriots in the White House, Jesus doesn't love horndog gov Robert Bentley, and Rexxon is full steam ahead. Your morning news brief!
Nazi furries: The fandom menace.
Jon Ossoff takes off running, Donald Trump loses his boats, and Nazi jerks get served. Your morning news brief!