National Politics

Jared Kushner’s Security Clearance Is Excellent News For Saudi Prince

Guess everything's on the up-and-up now. What a relief. Hey, how about more tax cuts, huh?

Trump Knows How To Fix Black Folks’ Knees… Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 24, 2018

Trump has thoughts on taking a knee, the FBI will brief the Gang of Eight, and Trump thinks immigrant kids, like Britney Spears, are not so innocent. Your morning news brief.

Congress Frees Big Banks From Regulations That Kept Them Only Obscenely Profitable

Don't be ridiculous. There are no icebergs in these waters.

Betsy DeVos Wants Everyone To Be Happy. Bigots, And The Immigrant Kids They Rat Out To ICE

Since when do you expect the head of a federal agency to know anything about federal law?

Paranoid Trump Searches For Spies. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 23, 2018

Trump obsessed with spies, Michael Cohen's partner flips, and Mick Mulvaney has words about CHIP. Your morning news brief.

Portal To Hell Opens In White House Lawn. Obama Never Had One Of Those.

You know WHO ELSE never had a sinkhole on the White House lawn? All the other presidents, Katie.
still from Bee Movie with Winnie the Pooh in a rifle scope's crosshairs

Ryan Zinke To Permit Uday And Qusay Trump To Murder Bear Cubs, Too

Federally-mandated revision of 'Bambi' will have the little deer say his mother was a renewable resource, so fair's fair.

We Sure Do Hope Rod Rosenstein Knows What The Fuck He’s Doing Right Now

Maybe Rosenstein and Chris Wray have this shit under control. Maybe they don't and EVERYBODY SHOULD PANIC A LOT.

Everyone Mourns Differently. Father Of Texas School Shooter Mourns Like A Dick

Terrible how liberals blame others for their own actions. Just ask this Fox News watching NRA fan.

Idiot Gateway Pundit Reporter, But We Repeat Ourselves, Lectures Bernice King On Her Father, MLK

News Flash: Martin Luther King Jr. gave more than one speech, wingnuts skeptical.

Just When You Thought Michael Cohen Couldn’t Be Any Stupider, ALONG COMES THE ONION!

Michael Cohen knows bad journalism when he sees it, EVEN IN YOUR ONION.

You Can Have Donald Trump’s Jitterbug Old People Phone When You Pry It From His Cold Dead Hands

Now that Obama's out of office, no one would wire tapp Trump anyway.