Elections

Loser. Again.

Senate Sunday: Doofus Mitt Romney Can’t Win State GOP Convention, Has To Run In Primary

Poor ol' Mitt just can't catch a break. Good.

Federal Judge Tells Kris Kobach He Is So Totally Boned, Also In Contempt Of Court

Kris Kobach got spanked real good, he did.

Michael Cohen, Most Loyal Guy, Until He Isn’t! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 19, 2018

Michael Cohen might be a snitch, Trump threatens to walk away from North Korea, and GOP coming for your healthcare (again). Your morning news brief.

This Is Stupid Watergate. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 13, 2018

James Comey spills the beans, Trump wants ANOTHER mulligan, and Michael Cohen recorded EVERYTHING! Your morning news brief!
Seriously, we literally never watch you pee

Anchorage, Alaska, Voters Tell Bathroom Panty Sniffers To FUCK OFF

Alaska Bible-thumpers losing the Culture Wars. Oh. How sad.
he was just trying to help Mis-turrr Twump!

What The Hell Did The Feds Want From Michael Cohen? We Are Getting A Glimmer Of An Idea!

MASSIVE CAMPAIGN FINANCE FRAUD. That is what this is all about. WE THINK.
he's prayed on this

Paul Ryan ‘Bout To Fuck Off Right Back To Janesville, Y’all!

It's a good time to go back to Janesville and skip Leg Day WHENEVER HE WANTS.
Obviously

Fuck You Guys, Paul Ryan’s Out Of Here! Wonkagenda For Wed., April 11, 2018

Trump's firing Mueller (or Rosenstein), Zuckerberg did his best Data impression, and watch out Syria, Trump gonna wag your dog. Your morning news brief!

A Very Sober And Serious Lawsplainer Of Michael Cohen’s WORLD OF SHIT

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!

Donald Trump Having A VERY Bad Day. Wonkagenda For Tues., April 10, 2018

WITCH HUNT! ATTORNEY CLIENT PRIVILEGE IS DEAD! FOAM FOAM RABID BAT FOAM!

Bolton’s Mustache Walks Into White House. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 9, 2018

John Bolton's Baptism by Fire, Trump's Towering inferno, and another Syrian chemical weapons attack. Your morning news brief.

Senate Sunday: In Tennessee, It’s Former Gov. Phil Bredesen Vs. Actual Crazy Person Marsha Blackburn

A Democratic majority in the Senate would be terrific. Getting Marsha Blackburn out of Congress would be a nice bonus.

Trump’s West Virginia Speech: A Dementiasplainer

It's not a lie if you don't give a shit whether it's true!

Let’s Art-Appreciate The Fuck Out Of These Dark-Money Anti-Muslim Ads, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Oh, what artistic triumphs Citizens United has wrought.

Scott Pruitt, Superfund Site! Wonkagenda For Fri., April 6, 2018

Scott Pruitt is way more fucked up than we thought, Trump wants MORE tariffs, and Peggy Noonan misses good negros. Your morning news brief.