He needs IMMEDIATE foot surgery! It will take him A MONTH to recover!
What's good for the Trumps is good for America! And everybody gets a share!
You know what really Conquered The World? SINGLE PAYER.
If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.
You'll never guess who's getting a tax cut, WealthCare rides again, and Anne Coulter is set to invade Eternia! Your morning news brief!
Marco Rubio did a good thing, everyone!
Trump tries to trickle down on the poors, Republicans try to kill Medicaid, and Alex Jones is being sued for yogurt libel! Your morning news brief!
Nobody wants to pay for Trump's wall, Hannity got hands-on, the late-night news wars have begun! Your morning news brief!
OH NO The Democrats Shut Down The Government! In The Future! Say Liars And Idiots And Donald Trump! (Redundant!)
Let's not negotiate with a hostage taker.
Kill it! Kill it with fire!
How could Jason Chaffetz POSSIBLY have a secret scandal, when there are so many people cleaning out his butt every day?
Trump breaks up with Julian Assange, Alex Jones's custody battle got WHOO BOY NASTY, and Jason Chaffetz wants you to know his pooper is sparkling clean! Your morning news brief!
More wild speculation into Chaffetz's abrupt departure!
Patriots in the White House, Jesus doesn't love horndog gov Robert Bentley, and Rexxon is full steam ahead. Your morning news brief!
Jason Chaffetz won't seek re-election in 2018. BUT WHY?????