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Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Gun. Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 19, 2018

Trump shitposts on Twitter, Republicans are running scared, and Philly's new D.A. (the civil rights lawyer one!) LOVES weed. Your morning news brief!

2018 Midterm Madness: Democrats In Texas’ 7th Shooting Rockets Up John Culberson’s Lazy Ass.

John Culberson has friends in high places, and Democrats want to bring him back down to Earth.

GOP Lying Out Their Asses About The Mueller Indictments? UNPOSSIBLE!

All the lies that are fit to print.

Steve Bannon Tells House Intelligence Committee To Get Fucked, Provokes Riot In Wonkette Chatcave

Bannon tells House Republicans to get fucked. House Republicans furrow their brows meaningfully, go back to doing nothing.

The Kids Of Stoneman Douglas High Would Like You To Kindly Stuff Your Thoughts, Prayers And Guns, Please

They're survivors. And they're very, very pissed off.

Wonkette’s Weekly Top Ten Just LOVES Mueller Time

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Here Is Adam Rippon SING-SKATING To Rihanna, Because Of Course He Is

Oh look at me, I'm Adam Rippon, I'm good at stuff.

Just Donald Trump Raw-Dogging A Playboy Model, Sorry About Your Lunch

Trump never wore a bathrobe. Also never had sex with all those women.

ROBERT MUELLER GONNA STICK THESE INDICTMENTS UP RUSSIA’S ASS NOW

SHIT IS GETTING SO REAL, Y'ALL.

MittBott 2.018 Back And Ready To Represent Utah, Inevitably Offend It

He has this bad habit of thinking he's inevitable. You're not inevitable, Mitt.

Mitch McConnell Just DELIGHTED To Deport Dreamers Up Shit Creek

What's next for DACA recipients? How about an underground railroad to Canada until sanity returns to this place?

Panicking Conservatives Decide To ‘Whatever’ School Shootings, Pivot To Abortion

Now that we know the shooter was a Trump supporter, conservatives are desperate to change the conversation.

Looks Like Robert Mueller Has A New Little Buddy, And It Is Rick Gates!

Big news in the Mueller investigation!

Better Hope This Grifty Fucker Keeps Job Running VA Because The Alternative Would Be SO MUCH WORSE

On the one hand, THIS GUY. On the other hand, THE GUY THEY'D REPLACE HIM WITH.

Nation’s Idiots Rush To Explain Why Florida School Massacre Isn’t About Guns

A Children's Garden Of Bullshit And Misdirection