US of America News

If Mike Flynn Pleads The Fifth, Will Congress Lock Him Up?

Now that Flynn has told the Senate to PISS OFF, will Richard Burr and Mark Warner personally beat it out of him? Or will they send staffers to do the job?

New Orleans Mayor Dick-Slaps Confederate Losers, With Awesome Words That You Will Like!

The last Confederate monument has come down, and Mayor Mitch Landrieu HAD SOME WORDS 'BOUT THAT.

Donald Trump Set To Unveil Exciting Poor-Fucking Budget, For Poor-Fucking!

Please sir, may we have some more?

Wow, Turkey Is Being An *Unbelievable* Dick

Why didn't the US suspend all protest for the Turkish president, like Saudi Arabia did for Trump???

Sinister Glowy Orb Saps Trump’s Stamina, Leaves Poor Dear ‘Exhausted,’ ‘Weak,’ ‘Sad.’

Why is Donald Trump already tired on his Mideast trip? It's all that cognitive dissonance.

Trump Bows To Not America. Wonkagenda for Mon., May 22, 2017

Trump is exhausted in the Middle East, President Kushner is in trouble, and Ajit Pai wants to make right-wing t.v. free for all. Your morning news brief.

Deleted Comments: Six Faces Of Derp

Yr Wonkette was invaded this week by an entire horde of this one guy.

Turns Out Jared Kushner Really Does Roll On Shabbos!

Jared and Ivanka couldn't possibly leave early for Saudi Arabia! They HAD TO fly on Shabbos because....reasons.

White House Definitely NOT In Panic Mode About Russia Investigations (Except That They Are)

White House Counsel Don McGahn, a crack legal scholar, has some cracked legal theories!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Wheels Up And One Hell Of A Flight Risk!

SO MANY TOP STORIES! TEN OF THEM, TO BE PRECISE!

Has Donald Trump Landed Yet?

Would the people writing this reality at least try to come up with something plausible, please?

We’ve Seen Trump’s Education Budget, And We’re Really Gonna Miss Public Schools

Huh. Guess we don't need no education, for reals.

Trump’s Golden Palace Needs To Protect Its Dick Pics Better

All dick pics are belong to creepy hackers. Thanks, Trump!

Let’s Watch Elizabeth Warren Punch Treasury Secretary In The Face (With Words!)

Steve Mnuchin doesn't words good. Elizabeth Warren goodwords him doubleplusgood!

A Plan So Dumb And Vindictive *Even Trump’s White House* Said No!

What if the real leaker is Barack Obama?????? It isn't. But if it were??????