Local News

Texas BOAT HEROES Just Being Heroes, In Boats.

The social contract: It works, mofos.
How Not to Protect America

Armed Idiot Protects Oklahoma Gun Store From Muslims By Shooting Himself

In Oktaha, Oklahoma, the owners of a local survivalist shop and gun range decided last week that it was high time to jump on the "Muslim-free zone" gravy train, because there's a whole lot of ISIS activity in the...
did someone need the hydrangeas watered?

Exciting NRA Ad: Hollywood Elitists Want To Take Your Guns, Laugh When You Die

We decided to watch part of Tuesday's election coverage on Fox News last night, and in the middle of all the ads for prescription pills that will give you boners and make your bowels work right, this brilliant bit...

Paul Manafort: Oh You Mean THOSE Ukrainian Payments! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 13, 2017

Trump changes his mind on EVERYTHING (again), Russia hates EVERYONE (again), and Mar-a-Lago might make you sick and poor! Your morning news brief!

Democracy Experts: Sorry, North Carolina, You’re Now A Third-World Failed State

If North Carolina were a nation, we'd be sending in UN observers for its elections.

Border Patrol Knows What Is Important During Hurricane Harvey Evacuation: DEPORTIN’ MESSICANS, YEEHAW!

A little old hurricane evacuation is no reason to stop deporting people.

Who’s Going To Pay For The Wall? Your Wonkagenda For Mon., April 24, 2017

Nobody wants to pay for Trump's wall, Hannity got hands-on, the late-night news wars have begun! Your morning news brief!

American Dream Deferred. Wonkagenda for Thurs., August 3, 2017

Trump's unveils his immigration policy, McMaster fires another Flynn spy, the Senate tries to make an Obamacare band-aid.

California Wingnuts Extremely Concerned About Where You Make Toilet

Some very concerned citizens and their pastors in California are very concerned about their privacy. Ya see, right now, any old persons can walk into a public restroom, drop trou, do their business -- and nobody has the right to sue 'em if the girl-wiener they're packin'...

Dad And Son Accused Of Raping Teen Girl Will Base Defense On Bible, As One Does

Should have asked for a dictionary, too. 'Suffer the children' doesn't mean make them suffer.

Joe Manchin Calls For War On Drugs, Might Need To Talk To His Fentanyl-Pushing Daughter

Nostalgic for the War on Drugs? Joe Manchin's your man!

Alabama’s Filthy Ex-Gov, Lover Gal Booted From Church, Because Sinners Make Jesus Cry

Nothing adds to a sexxytime political scandal like some hellfire preaching from the sinning politician's pastor.
See her arm? That's supposedly a 'punch'

Officer Who Dragged Black Teen From Her Desk Boning A Black Chick, So It’s Cool

Oh, hey, thought you should know that new information has exonerated that South Carolina deputy sheriff and school resource officer who who flung a girl around a classroom at Spring Valley High School like some kind of demented pro wrestler....

Pence Summons Republican Swamp Monster. Wonkagenda For Fri., June 16, 2017

Mike Pence lawyers up, Jared Kushner is under the spotlight, and Russian mobsters? Oh my! Your morning news brief!
My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Take Away Our Liberty

Deleted Comment: Genuine ‘Black Ops’ Veteran Defends Best Evil-Fightin’ Sheriff Lady In Texas

We heard from a gent in Texas who had some thoughts on demon liberals and the Constitution.