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He seems nice

Minnesota GOP Congressional Nominee Has Fun, Creative Views On Women, Slavery, Everything

Meet Minnseota's brand new rightwing GOP nominee for Congress. He has the potential to out-Bachmann Michelle Bachmann, but comes from a swing district, thankfully.
myfriends, my friends, my friends..FIVE AND A HLAF YEARS, ALAN!

Wingnut Heroes To Arrest John McCain For Doing Bad Things

A rightwing radio talker has announced what's sure to be a turning point in the movement to restore constitutional something-or-other to the taking-back of America, and also the freedom and such as, for our once-great nation, hooray! Calling the...

It’s Super Tuesday Again! (For The Eleventy-Millionth Damn Time)

Now updated with some results! Hey, people in the Northeast who don't live in New York or Massachusetts or whatever! You live in Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island, and you are wearing a sticker on your boob...

Alabama Governor’s Beachfront Mansion Remodel Is Most Important Crisis Facing Alabama

Gov. Robert Bentley (R-So You Know Where This Is Going) really cares about his fellow Alabamatonians. That's why he immediately declared the Yellowhammer State a Syrian refugee-free zone, after the terrorist attacks in Paris, to keep his people safe...

New York Priest Stole $1M Church Lady Donations For His Gay S&M Master, As One Does

Every Sunday around the great US and A, churches pass the collection plates, so they can use the money to buy food and clothes for poor kids, and send Bibles to China, and so their priests can have "drug-fueled...

Missouri Republican Demands Transparency In Hot Sexing Between Lobbyists And Lawmakers

The Missouri legislature has, shall we say, Sexxx Issues. This is a place where elected officials walk into the state house as functioning human adults, but once inside turn into violently throbbing jizz spigots unable to do anything besides...
What? This .gif is totally relevant, NO YOU SHUT UP.

South Dakota Governor Doesn’t Want To Peek At Kids’ Junk In The Bathroom For Some Reason

In February we told you about a whole passel of lesbogaygender-hatin' bills being considered in the great state of South Dakota. And for once, we can report that there is GOOD NEWS about one of those bills, specifically HB...
Probably just peed next to a transgender.

Wisconsin Will Heal Pain And Suffering Caused By Transgenders Doing Potty

In Tuesday night's Democratic debate, candidates were asked what the greatest problem facing our nation is, and they said things like "Ay-Rabs" and "nuculars" and "global warming, WHEEEE!" But they are all wrong. As all good Christian Americans know,...
It's always nice to use this picture.

Gun-Lovin’ Texas Heroes Will Show Everybody How Fun Mass Shootings Really Are

If you're a paste-chomping weirdo, you've been watching the news and thinking, "Wow, another mass shooting. When do I get to be involved in something like that?" A group of gun-fondling Texans who truly believe all citizens should be...

This Utah Republican Publicly Mourning Gay Orlando Victims Will Make You Ugly Cry

Yes, a Utah Republican, that is not a typo, we said that correctly.

Anderson Cooper Tells Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi To Sit Her Ass Down

Why does Anderson have to keep pointing out Pam Bondi's past anti-gay bigotry, NO FAIR!
The website has two full paragraphs explaining the 'significance' of this t-shirt.

Stupidest Man On Internet So Sad For Oppressed Wisconsin High School Racists

Five students in Elkhorn, Wisconsin, will be disciplined for shouting "Donald Trump! Build that wall!" (and allegedly other racial slurs) at black and Latina high school soccer players from visiting Beloit Memorial High School last week, and Jim Hoft,...
12. Years. Old.

Tamir Rice’s Family Gets $6 Million Settlement, Not Their Kid Back

The city of Cleveland has settled a wrongful death lawsuit in the police shooting of 12-year-old Tamir Rice for $6 million, so everything is OK now we guess. Tamir was shot dead by officer Timothy Loehmann in November 2014,...

Texas Ag Commissioner Definitely Didn’t Call Hillary Clinton A See You Next Tuesday

Just a good ol' boy, never meanin' no harm.
It's rabbit holes all the way down.

Sandy Hook ‘Truther’ Planned His Very Own Mass Shooting … Or So They Want Us To Think

A Las Vegas man who believed Sandy Hook was faked has been arrested on charges of plotting a real massacre. If you believe the government, of course.
He seems the polar opposite of nice

Pharma Douchestick CEO Martin Shkreli Arrested For Being Giant Douche, Also Fraud

Martin Shkreli, the price-gouging douchebro CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals whose name is so world-wide synonymous with "pharma douchebro" that everyone knows exactly who we're talking about, is in a spot of trouble with The Law. Oh no, how ever will we...