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Local News

Oh look, it's the new face of terror: A bright 14-year old. But he's Muslim!!!!!!!!

Wingnuts Have Had It With That Muslim Teen Terrorist Ahmed Mohamed And His ‘Science’

Of course there's a backlash. Couldn't possibly have any story about a Muslim kid mistakenly accused of making a hoax bomb and then showered with love from fellow geeks, and have that be the end of it. Gotta gin...
How Not to Protect America

Armed Idiot Protects Oklahoma Gun Store From Muslims By Shooting Himself

In Oktaha, Oklahoma, the owners of a local survivalist shop and gun range decided last week that it was high time to jump on the "Muslim-free zone" gravy train, because there's a whole lot of ISIS activity in the...
Kam Brock. She says she has a BMW. She does have a BMW. What a headcase!

Black Lady Sent To Mental Hospital For Saying She Drives A BMW. Whatever, Crazy Lady!

Oh hi, we are here with another dispatch from America, land of the Racism Is Totally Over, Yep, You Bet. It's a story as old as Phyllis Schlafly. Black lady by the name of Kamilah Brock ("Kam" for short)...

Idaho State Senator Says Obamacare Just Like The Holocaust, Because Of Course It Is

Idaho state Senator Sheryl Nuxoll does not like this Obamacare thing one bit, and she also does not like that Idaho Gov. Butch Otter is supporting legislation to set up a state health exchange, because what kind of freedom-loving...
Dr. Marcia Bowden and her husband, Ira Marche. (pic via The New Tri-State Defender)

Mississippi Cops: We Totally Arrested That Black Doctor For Being Uppity, Ayup!

In case you played hooky from Wonkette on Monday, we had the very weird story of a prominent black doctor from Memphis, Dr. Marcia Bowden, who was arrested along with her husband during a routine traffic stop in Southaven,...
Drop Kick Me Jesus

Georgia High School Adds Baptisms To Football Practice, Benches Constitution

Residents of Villa Rica, Georgia, are astonished that anyone could have a problem with a group baptism of football players on school grounds before a recent F'ball practice. Because they love America, and Jebus, and F'ball -- which is why it...
Bristol Palin is Mad About A Thing

Bristol Palin Terrified Her Baby Will Get Arrested For Being Muslim Science Terrorist

We THOUGHT we told Bristol Palin to STFU about that lovely Muslim science nerd smarty-pants kid, Ahmed Mohamed, who was so proud of himself for inventing a little clock that he wanted to rush to school and show it...
Yer Retro Classic ShitFerBrains Logo

Deleted Comments: In Which A Rat’s Ass Is Given About Bristol Palin

Hey, remember when "guy in a hardhat" was an archetype of rightwing dumbassery? Now that America doesn't make anything anymore (and we don't win anymore, as Donald Trump points out), our stereotypical Dear ShitFerBrains guy should probably be a...
Judge Vance Day, looking thoughtful in his official portrait

Oregon Judge Won’t Marry No Gays, But Look At His Rad Picture Of Hitler

While Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis and her lunatic fans hog the media spotlight with their wacky antics, an Oregon judge, the Hon. Vance Day of Marion County, has been quietly refusing to perform weddings for same-sex couples, initially telling...
Wonder if they have this book?

Sexy Republican Lawmakers Sorry For ‘Exchanging Documents’ In Each Other’s Pants

Did you hear about these two crazy kids in Minnesota? They are Republican state Reps. Tim Kelly and Tara Mack, and they are married, but not to each other. They were caught doing normal Republican legislator stuff to each other...
Troy Goode and his little boy.

Nice White Dad Hogtied By Police Didn’t Die Of LSD Overdose, What A Shock

We have a quick Wonk update on a bizarre story we brought you in July, of a nice white dad, Troy Goode, who went to a Widespread Panic concert in Mississippi with his wife and mysteriously died hours later...
Yaoi? Yowie!

Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky Clerks Having Real Bad Week

Pour out a 40 for the gay-hating county clerks of Kentucky, who are losing their brave battle to refuse to do their jobs in the name of Jesus. First up, we have Kim Davis, the clerk of Rowan County,...
Senator, Jesus wants you to sit over there, away from the microphones

Mike Huckabee Didn’t Appreciate Ted Cruz Trying to Hijack His Kim Davis Jesus Party

Mike Huckabee would just like you all to know that if anyone's going to go to jail in Kim Davis's place, it's Mike Huckabee, not that Canadian-come-lately Ted Cruz. Following the hilarious scene Tuesday of a Huckabee staffer blocking...
Why be so hung up on symbols? Or for that matter, hang up symbols?

Georgia Gallery Owner Replaces Confederate Flag With Nazi Flag, That’s Better

A Macon, Georgia art gallery owner who had been flying a Confederate flag outside his business took the thing down Monday and replaced it with a WW II Nazi military flag, complete with swastika. Ah, but this is no...
Jesus probably wants you to buy more gun now

Second Amendment Saves At Least 10 At Community College From Being Alive, F*ck You America

Welcome to your Latest Mass Shooting, America! At 10:40 AM local time, an as-yet unidentified gunman opened fire at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, leaving at least 7-10 10 people dead and approximately 7 wounded (see updates...
But they won't.

Dumb Tennessee Republicans Have New Plan To Ban Gay Marriage. It Is A Stupid Plan.

Oh, Tennessee. You are such a pretty state, and yet you house some of the biggest A Idiots ever to have been whelped onto American soil. So these two Tennessee lawmakers, state Sen. Mae Beavers (it's a perfectly nice...