Local News

… And The Fucking Horse Roy Moore Rode In On

Your one-stop shop for Alabama election results! (OR IS IT?)

This Alabama Dad Is The Hero We Wish We Didn’t Need

Listen to this man right now.

Roy Moore Went To An Underage Brothel And Didn’t Even Fuck Kids A Little Bit (ALLEGEDLY)

Don't you want to vote for Roy Moore now?

Trump Just Called Kirsten Gillibrand A Whore. Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 12, 2017

Don't think we've ever actually been shocked by a Trump tweet before. Your morning news brief.

Wonkette’s Own Alabama Gal Says Y’All Might Get Doug Jones In Your Christmas Stocking. Roll Tide!

COULD THIS HAPPEN? COULD IT REALLY, REALLY HAPPEN?
We won't, we promise.

This Is SOME BULLSHIT: Michigan Keeping John Conyers’s Seat Empty For Rest Of His Term

Why would Detroit need a Congressman? THIS IS FINE.

Trump Adores Self At Civil Rights Museum. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 11, 2017

Trump loves himself at civil rights museum, old white people make excuses for pedophillia, and Judge Jeanine goes off the rails (again). Your morning news brief.

Trump Dims Hanukkah Lights. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 8, 2017

Trump-Russia denials get absurd, Erik Prince has a power point for his private army, and Trump doesn't invite Jews to Hanukkah. Your morning news brief.

Was It Over When Trump Bombed Pearl Harbor? Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 7, 2017

Trump gives crazy Christianists an X-mas present, Congress accidentally gave corporations a tax boo-boo, and the House passes closet gun humping bill. Your morning news brief.

Steve Bannon Bitches About Jews, Jesus, And Jerks. Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 6, 2017

Steve Bannon give Roy Moore a reacharound, Trump moves US embassy to Jerusalem, and Trump STILL doesn't get Person of the Year. Your Morning News Brief.

GOP Hopes You Won’t Notice Budget Fuckery. Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 5, 2017

Republicans try to kick the can down the road (again), Robert Mueller cranks Trump-Russia up to 11, and the FCC is engaging in some serious fuckery with net neutrality. Your morning news brief.

FOR SALE: Ducky Pajamas. Lightly Jizzed In. $84,000 OBO.

DISCLAIMER: This is fake news, as we are sure Blake Farenthold (R-Ducky Pajamas) would never part with his beloved ducky pajamas.

Trump Makes It Official: I’M WITH THE ACCUSED KID MOLESTER!

What shocking news!

These Dicks Are Buying Up Your Alt-Weeklies And Turning Them Into National Review Or Some Shit

Keep an eye on the institutions YOU love, because these libertarian pieces of shit are coming for all of them.