Everywhere Else News

Lindsey Graham Scared Trump’s Budget Might Accidentally Make A Benghazi

Lindsey Graham is clearly not a fan of sequels.

Melania And Ivanka Trump Show The World What Feminine Power Looks Like

Oh Washington Post, we love you so much. Why you gotta do us like that?

Trump Caught Yanking The Bishop Of Rome. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 24, 2017

Trump manhandles the Pope, Hannity will shut up now, and Rob Quist is scaring the GOP. Your morning news brief!

Donald Trump Was The First To Sign Holocaust Memorial Yearbook’s Crack

Ladies and gentlemen, your president.

After Manchester Terror Attack, Donald Trump Upgrades Alert Status To ‘Playground Taunt’

Our president's eloquence may have fallen a bit short.

And That’s When Trump Became President (Just Kidding). Wonkagenda For Tues., May 23, 2017

Trump blows another opportunity to act like an adult, Jeff Sessions tries to be legally racist, and Fox News has LOW RATINGS. Your morning news brief.

Trump Commerce Secretary Delighted By Lack of Saudi Arabian Protesters. Because They’re Dead

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross is along on Donald Trump's first overseas trip, just in case Trump needs help selling a spare mansion for $95 million, and probably doing some commerce stuff, too, if Jared lets him. We figure Trump...

Wow, Turkey Is Being An *Unbelievable* Dick

Why didn't the US suspend all protest for the Turkish president, like Saudi Arabia did for Trump???

Sinister Glowy Orb Saps Trump’s Stamina, Leaves Poor Dear ‘Exhausted,’ ‘Weak,’ ‘Sad.’

Why is Donald Trump already tired on his Mideast trip? It's all that cognitive dissonance.

Trump Bows To Not America. Wonkagenda for Mon., May 22, 2017

Trump is exhausted in the Middle East, President Kushner is in trouble, and Ajit Pai wants to make right-wing t.v. free for all. Your morning news brief.

Turns Out Jared Kushner Really Does Roll On Shabbos!

Jared and Ivanka couldn't possibly leave early for Saudi Arabia! They HAD TO fly on Shabbos because....reasons.

Trump’s Golden Palace Needs To Protect Its Dick Pics Better

All dick pics are belong to creepy hackers. Thanks, Trump!

Trump Plays The Blame Game. Wonkagenda For Fri., May 19, 2017

Trump's SWEARS he didn't do whatever he says he did, President Kushner sold peace to the Middle East, the GOP wants Chaffetz out now! Your morning news brief!

BREAKING! Mike Pence Lying Again. For A Change.

Lies, damn lies, and VP Pence.