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John McCain Will Punch Cancer In The Face. Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 20, 2017

John McCain ready to keep kicking ass, Trump gives another INSANE interview, and zombie TrumpCare tries one last scare. Your morning news brief.

Trump Tries To Hide ANOTHER Putin Meeting. Wonkagenda For Wed., July 19, 2017

Trump has a secret dinner with Putin, Mitch McConnell still trying to kill Obamacare, and Trump Jr. is 'miserable,' poor baby! Your morning news brief!
This one came with a box of cereal

Roger Stone Finds His True Love: Cliven Bundy

Roger Stone has discovered Cliven Bundy and nobody knows what comes next

Fox News Can’t Figure Out Which Lives Matter After Pretty White Lady Shot By Police

Police violence leaks out into White People Land. Time to care!

Zombie TrumpCare Dies Again! Wonkagenda for Tues., July 18, 2017

TrumpCare fails again, the House moves on to money, and Trump screams at Chris Christie. Your morning news brief.

Trump Judge Pick Doesn’t Want To Give Impression He’s Some Kind Of Faggot

This racist birther freak DEFINITELY deserves a lifetime appointment to the federal bench.

Jeff Sessions Is Making Reefer Madness Great Again

Drugs are bad! Mmmmmkay?

Jared Kushner Is Not As Think As He Smarts He Is!

Oh, Jared! Always in trouble, you little scamp!

The Trump-Russia Conspiracy Is Getting Weird, Y’all. A HOLY SHIT Investigation Into WHAT THE FUCK?

What's the connection between Donald Trump Jr., Marc Kasowitz, Preet Bharara, and a METRIC FUCKTON of Russians? Let's get out our Glenn Beck whiteboard!

Trump’s (ALLEGEDLY!) Drunky Lawyer Seems Nice

Imagine sexting with him!

Democrats Frivolously Sue Trump And Roger Stone, Just For Conspiring To Hack All Their Shit

This lawsuit against Donald Trump's campaign is either crazy or brilliant. Let's say it's both.

Trump Pussgrabbing All Over Paris. Wonkagenda For Fri., July 14, 2017

Trump plays pussgrab in Paris, Don Jr drowning in Trump-Russia lies, and how are they stealing your health care today? All the ways Katie! Your morning news brief.

Trump Is Literally Driving His Lawyer To Drink

Who would agree to represent these guys?

Kellyanne Conway Has Fun With Words! Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 13, 2017

Trump-Russia gets weirder, CruzCare is LITERALLY 'junk insurance,' and Kellyanne Conway has fun with words. Your morning news brief.

Trump Jr. Can’t Stop Incriminating Himself. Wonkagenda for July 12, 2017

Trump Jr STILL can't stop/won't stop talking, Lindsey Graham is quietly baking GrahamCare, and Betsy DeVos meets with mens rights activists. Your morning news brief.

Asshole ‘Patriot’ Who Threatened Muslim Couple Cries Real Tears After Arrest

This man is very sad about getting caught doing a hate crime. Why didn't anyone ever help him?