Wonkette

Here it is again, my friends. It is also here. And here’s the fun entire debate, via C-SPAN, after the jump. MORE »

That debate was more boring than, uh… more boring than a Nordic opera singer being interviewed on Charlie Rose! More boring than the short-lived Pat Sajak Sunday night talk show on Fox News! MORE BORING THAN DAVID BROOKS SPARRING WITH ELEANOR CLIFT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION. Meaning, Obama didn’t say anything nutty, and Walnuts just made a bunch of jokes about Jell-O and green ears and colored people. Let’s see how other “people on the Internet” are reacting. Hint: Sullivan has a strong opinion! MORE »

This is the first time your editor has really paid attention to those squiggly lines on the CNN independent voter torture graph. Wow! The uncommitted voters of Ohio do not like this John McCain character. The only time we’ve seen a real happy response to McCain was when he was talking very generally (and quite well) about America’s history as a “peacekeeper.” (Ha.) And then he had to snarl and say “this isn’t the time for on-the-job training,” and the male and female lines went down like the stock market. What does it mean? MORE »

Oh boy howdy this has been a bunch of yammering interspersed with Tom Brokaw complaining about how long the yammering has been going on. Did you miss some of this important blah de blah? Well here they are in serial fashion: Part I, Part II, Part III, and that brings us to Part IV. If this were Star Wars, we’d just be getting to the good stuff. For example, after the jump you will find a little clip of John McCain calling Barack Obama “that one.” Now onward, onward. MORE »

The New Great Depression hobo pictured here is Joe Biden, getting on the hobo train from Washington to Delaware to tend to his adult children. Joe Biden therefore cannot debate tonight, so lil’ old Hopey will have to debate against the old fart in his place. Who can pretend he will fix the economy more to these town hall people? Are any of them hot? No they are fat, and Barack Obama will drop air bombs on them or whatever is it Palin says. (Here are Part I and Part II.) MORE »

If there was ever a time for an old-fashioned community meetin’ at the old town hall, what with the world comin’ to an end and such, that time is now, brothers and sisters. But, we can’t even do a Great Depression right, so get ready for a lot of inane questions submitted via Twitter on the Internet or whatever, as McCain prepares to challenge Obama on the question of whether black people should even be allowed to vote, let alone run for president. MORE »

To your left is the shack where her editor spent her “vacation,” getting harassed by banana slugs and watching the VP debate in a bar full of scratch-off Lotto ticket addicts who muttered angry things about “Barack HUSSEIN Obama” on their way out. (Kidding! That is another one of John McCain’s eleventy billion subprime properties, now on sale in exchange for a sack of speckled beans.) Anyhow now we are back, rested and refreshed! We hear there is some sort of a talky talky with whatsisface, Hussein, and the little angry man. What magical maps is John King drawing at this very moment to show us how Poverty will finally triumph over Racism this electoral cycle? MORE »

NO MORE DRINKING GAMES, JUST DRINKING: Here’s your Tuesday Night Financial Apocalypse Obama-Biden Town Hall Debate Schedule. At 8:30 p.m. Eastern, join us for exciting pre-debate live-blogging, followed by hours of crazy debate and post-debate liveblogging from your editors, including Sara K., who is back at work, finally. Because of the National Crisis, there are no more frivolous drinking games. Just lots of quiet, angry drinking. [MSNBC Debates]

Local Wonkette operative “Charlotte” (who is “home sick from work” today, so wish her a speedy recovery/death!) sends us this photo of her sink in Washington. It now only pours monster blood. This is something Jesus predicted would happen, in the Bible, and since Washington is a leading indicator of all “Apocalyptic happenings,” our advice remains the same: BUY CANNED GOODS. (And bottled water; that is so fucking disgusting good god.)

Here’s the latest Sarah Palin KKK rally clip from today, in Jacksonville. she mentions that Barack Obama hates the American troops for killing his Moozie friends — the Afghani children. A kindly fellow in the audience yells “TREASON!” Well that makes sense if what Sarah Palin is saying is true, and when has it ever not been? [YouTube/TPM]

• JESUS FUCKING CHRIST: Dow drops 300 … 400 … 450 … 500. Closes down 5.1%, 508 points, under 9,450. S&P drops under 1,000 to 996, lowest since 2003. Five straight days of this shit. How much longer? Two years? Ten years? [Marketwatch]

Here are more of your fancy “math numbers” showing that Obama is not only still ahead in mostly every state in the world, but his leads are still growing. Wait… Obama? Who is the REAL Barack Obama? A space cockroach? A used crack pipe? We do not know yet because John McCain has not told us, so these polls don’t count, bwah. [FiveThirtyEight]

• One of Palin’s antebellum friends, an Authentic American, told a black sound guy to “Sit down, boy!” at one of her Floridian rallies. [Washington Post]
• When Obama was hooking up with Bill Ayers, he claims he didn’t know that Ayers was a terror-worshipping Communist demon. This means that Obama is Not Ready to nuke Ahmadinejad’s palatial sex dungeon in North Korea. [The Corner]
• Every time Bush kisses McCain softly on the forehead, a mustachioed ginger in Florida loses his home. [Ben Smith]
• In the 1980s, McCain had a fairly impressive neo-Nazi porn collection which he often sold in the Facebook Marketplace in order to benefit Latin American terrorists like Bill Ayers. [Huffington Post]
• Pakistan is going out of business, because countries apparently can do that. Naturally, it wants a bailout, so John McCain is driving the Straight Talk express to Kashmir, to supervise. [Crooks and Liars]