As The Post reported this morning, the Virginia Senate has “all but guaranteed” the state will have a fall marriage referendum. DCist highlighted the beauty of adding a marriage ban in the state’s Bill of Rights, specifically following its provision discussing the essential nature of a “firm adherence to justice.” MORE »

Wonkette operatives with access to “the World Wide Web” have repeatedly alerted me to Sen. John Kerry’s announcement that he supports a filibuster of Judge Samuel Alito, as ordered by The New York Times this morning in its “Senators in Need of a Spine” editorial. MORE »

Don’t worry, folks. That scary Vespa accident involving former senior Clinton aide and “political gunslinger for progressives, liberals, and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton” Harold Ickes did not take him from us. He’s “back in the saddle,” Washington Whispers tells us, and considering getting another Vespa. MORE »

Although some are all caught up in the gloom and doom of irresponsible people having unsafe sex, British scientist Stuart Brody is encouraging “[p]eople who are nervous about public speaking” to “have penetrative sex to ease the stress.” MORE »

In the tradition of all great alternative weeklies, the Washington CityPaper today publishes — for all Washingtonians seeking deep, probing journalism — “[a]n urban naturalist’s guide to crap.” MORE »

I think there’s a fairly good possibility that the President might very well tell us a bedtime story next week for his State of the Union, tell us to go to bed, and then softly remind us before we walk up the stairs that we’re effectively taking aim at our children and loved ones anytime we say anything bad about the government’s efforts allegedly helping in the war on terror. MORE »

Hoping to signal that he’s a man of the people, Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick decided to appear with a panda — because he knows how much everyone in the District just adores cute, young pandas. MORE »

A lump forms in my throat and tears appear in my eyes at the slightest mention of Capitol Hill staffers. They are the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed idealists who bring the energy and hope to our democracy each morning. I believe the children are our future and all that.

Or not. From Roll Call:

Lobbyists, headhunters and Capitol Hill aides speculate that a mini-exodus of staffers from both sides of the aisle may be coming as a result [of a doubling of the one-year lobbying ban for former staffers]. The lobby ban may not be the only potential reform drawing staffers downtown, either. Congressional aides and lobbyists say that the ongoing discussion of other bans, or tougher restrictions, on free travel and entertainment will make working on Capitol Hill less appealing.

So, there you go. Rather than Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln, today’s staffers more likely look up to Abramoff, DeLay, and Ney.

Although I must admit, I’ve also been hearing about them not letting staffers eat and telling them to work in the dark. That does seem a bit extreme. (E-mail below the jump.)

— Chris Geidner

Reform Talk May Spur Hill Exodus [Roll Call]

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In face paint? With a big gun? MORE »

First off, let’s get things straight (so to speak). MORE »

I lack many of Ana Marie’s attributes, but I hope my day here was at least mildly amusing. MORE »