Author Archives: Sara Benincasa

Full Name: Sara Benincasa Website:
Info: Sara Benincasa is an award-winning comedian, writer and radio talk show host. Her outspoken, sexually-charged comedy has won praise from the Chicago Tribune, CNN, The Guardian, and The New York Times, and has earned her an ECNY (Emerging Comedian of New York) Award and a Webby nomination. Her memoir, "Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom," (William Morrow/HarperCollins), was based on her critically acclaimed solo show about panic attacks and agoraphobia. She is currently working on a novel for young adults.
  Rage Against The Green

An Open Letter To People Who Water Their Lawns During A Drought

Dear Neighbors: Hello. Hi. How are you? I’m fine. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I am not fine. I am enraged. I am livid. I am ready to freak the fuck out. Why? Because we’re in the midst of the worst drought in California history, and you won’t stop watering your fucking lawns. READ MORE AT HNTP Read more on An Open Letter To People Who Water Their Lawns During A Drought…
  Happy Nice 4th Of July

Your American Horoscope For America And Other American Stuff At You Too

Today is Freedom Eve, so naturally we are celebrating over at Happy Nice Time People! Between the apple pie, the guns, and the glory, we don’t know what to do with ourselves! But don’t worry, we’ve got your horoscopes and your Bobby Womack and your (NBD) RACHEL MADDOW LOVING WONKETTE and so much more. Read more on Your American Horoscope For America And Other American Stuff At You Too…
  soothsaying

American Astrology: Horoscopes For True Patriots

Happy 4th of July! Are you an American? Great! Then I can tell you everything you need to know about yourself, based exclusively on your Sun Sign. If you are not an American, stop reading RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, because this is American Astrology (TM), not Commie Foreign Astrology Shit Crap. Seriously, this is for AMERICANS ONLY. Canada Day is OVER, and other countries don’t get their own days, or they shouldn’t, if you ask me. Read more on American Astrology: Horoscopes For True Patriots…
  Happiness Is A Warm Blog

We Explain How To Not Kill Yourself On Your Birthday Watching Rick Santorum’s Hobby Lobby Movie

Happy Nice Time People is many things — fun, funny, dark, weird, fascinating, light, sassy, fluffy — but most of all it is not afraid to be servicey. Thus, we sometimes delve into the world of mental health, as we did today. And also we talked about the United States exiting The Foreignball Cup, and stuff. Read on and enjoy! Read more on We Explain How To Not Kill Yourself On Your Birthday Watching Rick Santorum’s Hobby Lobby Movie…
  Hobby Lobby Slobby Knobby

The Supreme Court Tamed All The Sluts In Today’s Happy Links!

It is so stupid, to not be born a man. It is the dumbest thing a person could possibly do, yet fully 51% of the population has committed this sin! We are so grossed out by this, and we are so delighted by today’s Supreme Court decision. Haha, this is a joke, we hate this SCOTUS bullshit. We wrote funny things about it on Happy Nice Time People, a site you should visit on the regular. It is our feminist clickbait warblog, for Jesus. Read more on The Supreme Court Tamed All The Sluts In Today’s Happy Links!…
  Your Daily Coat Hanger

10 Hobby Lobby Products That Sound Like Birth Control But Aren’t

Today’s SCOTUS decision on birth control has us feeling creative! In addition to writing a fantastic one-act play called “The Taming Of The Slut,” we’ve compiled a list of ten Hobby Lobby products that sound like birth control or abortifacients (these are two different things, but not according to the douchedudes on the Supreme Court!) but are actually not, mostly! Enjoy! Read more on 10 Hobby Lobby Products That Sound Like Birth Control But Aren’t…
  Shots Fired

We Got Mad About A Thing In Today’s Happy Links!

Haha, today was the day we were finally able to use the term *shots fired* like the thugs we are. Why? Because we debuted Kaili Joy’s new fabulous column, I Am Mad About A Thing. It is the most important thinkskolumn feelsplanation since Maureen Dowd did first put fancy pen to the finest paper. Now on to the links! Read more on We Got Mad About A Thing In Today’s Happy Links!…
  Abortion Things

The Time An Abortion Protester ‘Counseled’ Me

Yesterday’s SCOTUS decision striking down a protester buffer ring around Massachusetts health clinics made me remember the time I got “counseled” by a man protesting Planned Parenthood. He yelled “MURDERER!” at me and waved a Bible. I was 25, scared, and fresh off a nasty surprise in the form of a broken condom. I blurted out, “Not yet!” Read more on The Time An Abortion Protester ‘Counseled’ Me…
  Yelling At Ann Coulter

We’re Liveblogging US Vs Germany In Your AM Happy Links!

GOOOOOAAAAAAAL! This is a thing Spanish-speaking commentator gents will say on the teevee today, hopefully when the US scores a million bajillion points against Germany. We’ve got a whole lotta fun goin’ on at Happy Nice Time People! Read more on We’re Liveblogging US Vs Germany In Your AM Happy Links!…
  you know who else? (ann coulter)

Why Today’s U.S. Vs Germany Soccer Match Is Hitler’s (And Ann Coulter’s!) Worst Nightmare

Today’s match is Hitler’s nightmare scenario: a US team with a German national hero as a coach plus a bunch of international players with dual citizenship, including five guys with German moms and African-American service member dads. It is also master troll Ann Coulter’s nightmare scenario because she hates soccer, and immigrants, and fun. They are both so sad today, probably, in Hell/wherever Ann Coulter lives. Read more on Why Today’s U.S. Vs Germany Soccer Match Is Hitler’s (And Ann Coulter’s!) Worst Nightmare…
  Doin It And Doin It And Doin It Well

We Heard About The Lamest Orgy Ever In Your PM Happy Links!

Whew! A lot happened this afternoon over at Happy Nice Time People. Mainly, the Internet went INSANE on us for our earlier post, Please Stop Bragging About Your Husband On Facebook. People got so happy about it, and also so mad, all over the Internet! If you haven’t checked it out, you should obviously check it out. But also we heard a hilarious story and then yr Editrix was like, “You need to write that story up and call it ‘The Lamest Orgy'” so we DID, hahahahhahahahaha. Don’t worry, we hid the identities of the humans involved, because we did not know them. Read more on We Heard About The Lamest Orgy Ever In Your PM Happy Links!…
  Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay

Indiana Is Your New Gayest State Today! Hooray!

There are so many gay states in the union, but today Indiana is the gayest of all! That’s because a federal judge struck down Indiana’s same-sex marriage ban. And the Hoosiergays (this is their name) have ALREADY STARTED MARRYING! Read more on Indiana Is Your New Gayest State Today! Hooray!…
  What We Did This Afternoon

Crazy Vampire Soccer Player Bites Opponent In Your PM Happy Links!

Well, what a lovely afternoon it’s been over at Happy Nice Time People! We’ve really gotten up to all sorts of fun and games, what with Luis Suarez biting a man and Harry Dean Stanton being great at acting and the such and the like. Hearken unto us and click through to read our magical things! Read more on Crazy Vampire Soccer Player Bites Opponent In Your PM Happy Links!…
  Happy Nice Time People

A Park Ranger Was Fired For Dancing On The Job In This Morning’s Happy Links!

BREAKING: Neil Gaiman has jumped on board to help us fight injustice at Happy Nice Time People! He retweeted a story we posted about a thing yr Editrix found: a man was fired for dancing at work! He was a happy park ranger, and now he is no kind of park ranger at all. Anyway, we are determined to help him out, which is why we’ve included him in this morning’s Happy Links. Read more on A Park Ranger Was Fired For Dancing On The Job In This Morning’s Happy Links!…
  C'mon Get Happy

Hey Joss Whedon! We’ve Got 4 New Strong Female Leads In Your PM Happy Links!

It’s Joss Whedon’s birthday, Dov Charney is still gross, Robin Thicke is also gross, and soccer happened! Here are the fun, the fabulous, the freakish and the fubblitbubblitdumbblitiest (we made that up, could you tell?) things we brought ya this afternoon over on your Happy Nice Time People. Read more on Hey Joss Whedon! We’ve Got 4 New Strong Female Leads In Your PM Happy Links!…
  This Is What We Did All Day

DJ Tanner Is Not Amused In Today’s Happy Links!

Hope you had a great work week and are heading to Happytown for the weekend! Hooray! Enjoy our tales of OJ Simpson, DJ Tanner, Carmen Electra, some motorcycle dude, Stephen Colbert, Ron Paul, and more! It’s a big ol’ party in today’s Happy Links. Read more on DJ Tanner Is Not Amused In Today’s Happy Links!…
  Oscar Contender

Ron Paul Will Act At You In Atlas Shrugged: Part III

Clocking in at around 645,000 words, Atlas Shrugged is Ayn Rand’s magnum derpus. So it makes sense that the film version has been stretched out into three full-length movies, because how else are you going to cram all that Objectivist TRUTH into the hollow skulls of the American sheeple? Read more on Ron Paul Will Act At You In Atlas Shrugged: Part III…
  Our God Is An Awesome God

Heavy Metal Christian Band Was Actually Full Of Lying Atheists

A Christian “news” site reported this week that an actual publication (Alternative Press) reported last month that the lead singer of a shitty metalcore band not only tried to have his wife killed last year, but also lied about being Christian. Oh, Tim Lambesis of As I Lay Dying, how could you? (We mean about the atheism, which is the real tragedy here, obviously.) Read more on Heavy Metal Christian Band Was Actually Full Of Lying Atheists…