Rebecca Schoenkopf
Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!
Angelina Jolie Got Her Boobs Chopped Off, Yay Angelina Jolie!
Some years ago, we saw a film that made us want to murder all the people. It was called “In the Family,” and it was about a young lady who has the BRCA gene that killed all her grandmothers and all her mothers and all her aunts with lady cancer. In this film, the young [...]
Michele Bachmann: God Did Benghazi
Well, looks like Hillary Clinton can relax, she will not get inpeached for murdering all the Libyan ambassadors even before her election and swearing in. But why won’t she get inpeached, when she finally got her two a.m. phone call and jumped into action to personally fly to Benghazi and do murder? She will not [...]
Theater Just Trying To Give Audiences A Little Fun With Actor Dressed As Gunman, What’s The Big Deal?
The manager of a movie theater that hired an actor dressed as a gunman, like, with a fake rifle and body armor or whatever, to come in and give its Iron Man 3 audiences a little PTSD thrill, is sorry he’s not sorry! Like, what part of “entertainment” do you not understand, Jefferson City, Missouri, [...]
In Case You Forgot Ronald Reagan Was A Dick
Here is a fun story from the LA Times! It is about California’s “University” of “California” “system,” and how Ronald Reagan lied on it, and crushed Cali’s legendary governor Pat Brown (father of Kathleen) by lying on it, and then became governor and broke it. It is also about the total ease with which Reagan [...]
Enron Criminal Jeff Skilling Gets 10 Years Off For White Behavior
Hey, remember when convicted crimer/Cheney best bud/secret Energy Task Force honcho/Enron chief Ken Lay “died” (moved to Paraguay) without ever darkening the door to his prison cell? We remember it too! We assume Jeff Skilling, Lay’s patsy/aka actual CEO of Enron/not really a patsy at all really, remembers it as well and is all why [...]
Which Part Of Politico Are You Most Excited To Pay To Read?
Last week, we went to a thing called “How to Monetize Content on the Internet” that was hilariously useless. The four men (because duh) on the panel each had a minimum of like 20 million unique users per month, so they did not have any actual advice for people with puny 500,000-person monthly readerships. Also, [...]
Wonkette Buys Man
You have done it, Wonkaloos!!!1! You have helped your Wonket purchase an entire human being, with health insurance and social security and all the other socialismsist crimes against Ayn Rand! Did you donate the whole amount to buy Doktor Zoom? Well, no. We still have about four million whore diamonds to go. But fuck it, [...]
Oh, Those Missing Girls? Cleveland PD Is Going To Have Some Splaining To Do
Cleveland PD has been celebrating today at the marvelous return to the living of three young women (and a tiny girl born into captivity) who were snatched a decade ago by three of the ugliest motherfuckers we have ever had the misfortune of eyeballing. But oh dear. It is starting to look as if the [...]
Yes Disney Is Trying To Trademark The Words ‘Dia De Los Muertos,’ Because It Is Not Like Anyone Else Is Using Them
What, Disney is trying to trademark the name of an entire holiday? Why, in fact, it is! See, they are going to be making a Pixar movie about Dia de los Muertos (yay!) (we hope Tim Burton is directing, because he has sort of made Dia de los Muertos like five times already) and so [...]
South Carolina Dem Chair Has Totally Believable Lie About Dumb Thing He Said About Nikki Haley
Oh Southern Dems. First you shoot your own fool faces off by being SUPER FUCKING RACIST about Mitch McConnell’s Taiwan-born wife, Elaine Chao, who’s enough of an asshole that you DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO BRING HER ASIANNESS INTO IT. Well, now the chair of the South Carolina Democratic Party has said an idiot SUPER FUCKING [...]
Lauryn Hill, Joe Francis Both Going To Prison For Crime Of Being Too Rad
Why do you people insist on enslaving Lauryn Hill, by buying her records? Now, thanks to you, she is going to prison for not paying taxes on the 50 million units she sold, and if that is not slavery, we do not know what is. Or actually, if that is not slavery, Lauryn Hill does [...]
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