We love Wendy Davis. You love Wendy Davis. We and you want to do very sexy things to Wendy Davis, even the straight chicks. Unfortunately, even saying that is the kind of thing the Wendy Davis for Governor campaign would send out an OUTRAGED PRESS RELEASE ABOUT. Most of you don’t get Wendy Davis for […]

Fox News is pretty sure that World Net Daily must know some real inside stuff about the armed-standoff goings-on at Bundy Ranch, like for instance the government causing the lunar eclipse. Also, the jackbooted thugs who come to seize yr stuff when you don’t pay your grazing fees for 197,000 years, those jackbooted thugs may […]

When our friends in the GOP make up their minds about something, by golly they stick to it! This is called “principles,” and it is just the right thing to do. Recently, their number one most important principle has become “don’t let Barack Obama get credit for raising the minimum wage,” and so they have […]

Instagram, it’s this thing. We do not actually know what it is, you look at other people’s lunch? And old pictures of Joe Biden and Chris Christie, who, judging by babby (and we are not being sizeist here, just historical-minded), seems to have begun his weight gain as sympathy bloat? How undapper and unstyley he […]

A year ago, there was a small to-do in Boston. Just your usual everyday thing, as long as you’re in Dresden in WWII. Yesterday Boston hit refresh on that awful day, with proud Bostonians running to the finish line on their once-mangled legs, only to find a big black backpack awaiting them. Surprise! It’s ART! […]

We determined many years ago, let us put that number in the vicinity of “we are old,” that we should not judge art we hadn’t seen for ourselves. (It had to do with our High Dudgeon about Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy, and how dare he have his man hero change a lesbian, and then we […]

Have you seen that ADORABLE ad, about how moms are unpaid slaves and what kind of idiot would take a job as one? Here, watch all 14 hours because apparently Ghost Andy Warhol is making greeting card viral videos now. (My mom: “I watched ‘Empire’ in the theater. It was WONDERFUL.” My mom is a […]

Hey, 2014 midterm people? Especially those of you who are Tea Party Republicans? What is your hard-on for the dick-joke-themed ads this election season? Sure, we make dick jokes, but we are vulgar and obscene and ain’t nobody voting us into Congress, although they could and have done worse. And even we moved on from […]

You all hear about this dumb idiot 14-year-old Dutch girl who has been arrested for tweeting funny bomb threats to American Airlines? First she was all racist, like, “I am Ibrahim and I love Al Qaeda and also bombing shit,” and then she thought she could “block” the FBI on Twitter. Oh man, what a […]

Willie Nelson playing a private “backyard bbq” fundraiser for Wendy Davis? YAY NICE TIME! SHOTGUN WILLIE! POT JOKE POT JOKE HAW HAW HAW! Also, that was a pretty good title for the post, we guess, so we have that going for us. Now, if we could just get Miss Dolly Parton to come play too, […]

“LAS VEGAS (AP) — A woman was taken into custody after throwing what she described as a shoe at Hillary Clinton during a Las Vegas speech.” Above we have almost the Platonic ideal of a newswire story opening, or “lede.” There is celebrity, there is strife, there is danger … and there is the respectable […]

Jimmy Carter, he’s this guy. Used to be president of this here America. At 89, he still trots around the world ensuring fair elections, building houses for poor people, and telling everyone to cut the racist and sexist shit. Jimmy Carter is a little bit of the greatest. Last night, the director of the Lyndon […]

Last week, it came to light that USAID, some offshoot of the State Department or something don’t ask us we are not Vox, had spent a bunch of tax-bread to make some sort of fake Twitter in an effort to destabilize that terrifying communist dictatorship, the small island nation of Cuba. We wanted to write […]

Spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler, everyone’s favorite rancid string bean, Jonah from “Veep,” was revealed Sunday night to be a blogger in the field of political gossiptainment, via his not terribly anonymous blog, Westwingman.net. Man, remember when our sister site, TerribleNewsforTerriblePeople.com, was a “DC gossip” site? How could

Some time ago, wunderkind Ezra Klein (a “wunderkind” is from the German for “wonder” and “kind,” and means “a wonderfully kind person”) announced his wunderkind explainer website, Vox, and how it would explain and explain and explain and explain and explain. For some reason, this was considered more worthy of many millions of clams (“clams,” […]