Super-sane and not at all Kaa-eyed congresslady Michele Bachmann prays to a fearsome G_d. First, He did Benghazi. Next, he will send the archangel Michael, probably disguised as a bunny, to wrestle the repeal pen into Barack Odumbo’s hand, and then Odumbo will sign the repeal of his signature law, Odumbocare, because Michele Bachmann prayed [...]

Sheldon Whitehouse, the senator from Rhode Island, went on a nice 15 minute tirade about climate change, but he accidentally forgot to tell James Inhofe to eat shit.

(See update at end) Blah blah blah, OF COURSE the meteorologist interviewed on MSNBC says today’s tornado that flattened Moore, Oklahoma, is the biggest tornado in the history of the planet. HE WAS ON MSNBC, DUH. We have little of consequence to add beyond GENERAL FUCKING OUTRAGE!!!1! that we have BROKEN THE FUCKING WEATHER but [...]

We for one would like to know a little bit more about Arkansas Dem lady treasurer Martha Shoffner, and why she is IN JAIL! Like, the story is all “Oh the FBI says she is extortin’ the people,” but maybe it is a theft of honest services kind of extortin’? Which last we heard the [...]

There’s this guy, Chris Faraone. Thinks he killed Breitbart. Ate some acid with us one time in Charlotte. Worked at the lamented Boston Phoenix, writing about hip-hop and Occupy and Breitbart and James O’Keefe and eating acid with us. He would like some money please!

UPDATE: We are almost certain the entire “Legal Defense Fund” website is a hoax to make Mr. M. Joseph Sheppard look bad, which is a shame. Mr. M. Joseph Sheppard will look how he will look without help from any “clever” Internet folk. We apologize for having been very stupid. SHAME ON US. SHAME. SHAAAAAAME. [...]

Christine Daniel is a minister and doctor (although, not, to our knowledge, a realtor, dentist, or vampire hunter) who just wanted to help the world beat cancer! She did this by going on Trinity Broadcast Network and selling a mixture of suntan oil and beef flavoring. To people with cancer. As a cure. For cancer. [...]

Oh, well this is … what is the opposite of fun? It is that. Let us think of some words for that: Gross. It is gross. And sad. And icky. And yuck! Oh, at first we assumed it was just some Occupy kids calling us out for our undying love of the Droner in Chief, [...]

Yesterday we learned of one more reason to impeach the Kenyan impostor: as he was giving his press conference with the Turkish whoever, it began to rain, and he summoned two United States Marines over to hold umbrellas over himself and his Very Important Guest. Commentors at the Free Republic howled that PBO was trying [...]

Oh, whoops, we do not think the spokeswoman for the Republican National Committee, and the Daily Caller (the spokespaper for the RNC), meant to confirm that Harry Reid was right about Mitt Romney paying a big gorgeous goose egg in taxes for 10 years. But they accidentally did! Oh our tangled webs and cetera! In [...]

Hey, Drudge and Weekly Standard, did anything happen during President Richard Milhouse Obama’s press conference with the Turkish premiere or prime minister or president or whatever? (We are not required to know who that guy is, because AMERICA.) Oh, nothing, he just CALLED OUT THE MARINES? Well that is one way to murder all of [...]

We here at Wonkette have a big melty spot (OUR HEART, PERVS) for ladies what yell at people. We are absolutely sure this has nothing to do with our upbringing, which as we recall was filled with gentle murmurings, hair ribbons, and warm pots of choc-o-late by the fire. There is Elizabeth Warren, first and [...]

Are you a writer what got no job? Then you will not want to read the following, in which we hire ANOTHER person, as it will probably make you want to eat your own liver. And livers are not like hearts or kidneys. A liver is an organ YOU ACTUALLY NEED! Last week, we told [...]

As a woman what has been in the media for eeep, more than 22 years (?!), your editrix is not unfamiliar with voicemails of the angrier kind. Over the decades, she has been called a cunt and a Nazi and cunt Nazi, whose attitude could only be adjusted by a proper, good-old-fashioned raping. She has [...]

Having already made war on the First Amendment’s freedom of speech and the First Amendment’s freedom of the press, now it is time for Adolf Hitler Obama to fuck with the OTHER part of the First Amendment, the one that proclaims freedom of and from religion. How is he murdering Christians today? Is he putting [...]


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