Rebecca Schoenkopf
Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!
Michele Bachmann’s God Is One Weird Fella
Super-sane and not at all Kaa-eyed congresslady Michele Bachmann prays to a fearsome G_d. First, He did Benghazi. Next, he will send the archangel Michael, probably disguised as a bunny, to wrestle the repeal pen into Barack Odumbo’s hand, and then Odumbo will sign the repeal of his signature law, Odumbocare, because Michele Bachmann prayed [...]
Uh Oh Someone Is Politicizing The Tornado In Moore, Time To Get The Pitchforks
Sheldon Whitehouse, the senator from Rhode Island, went on a nice 15 minute tirade about climate change, but he accidentally forgot to tell James Inhofe to eat shit.
Good News! Massive Killer Tornadoes Just The Normal Kind, Not the Global Warming Kind (Updated)
(See update at end) Blah blah blah, OF COURSE the meteorologist interviewed on MSNBC says today’s tornado that flattened Moore, Oklahoma, is the biggest tornado in the history of the planet. HE WAS ON MSNBC, DUH. We have little of consequence to add beyond GENERAL FUCKING OUTRAGE!!!1! that we have BROKEN THE FUCKING WEATHER but [...]
Arkansas Treasurer Goes To Jail For Extortion, But The Boring Kind
We for one would like to know a little bit more about Arkansas Dem lady treasurer Martha Shoffner, and why she is IN JAIL! Like, the story is all “Oh the FBI says she is extortin’ the people,” but maybe it is a theft of honest services kind of extortin’? Which last we heard the [...]
Whoops Looks Like Your Wonket Is Getting Sued Again Maybe, But Probably Not (Update: Almost Definitely Not!)
UPDATE: We are almost certain the entire “Legal Defense Fund” website is a hoax to make Mr. M. Joseph Sheppard look bad, which is a shame. Mr. M. Joseph Sheppard will look how he will look without help from any “clever” Internet folk. We apologize for having been very stupid. SHAME ON US. SHAME. SHAAAAAAME. [...]
Sunday Nice Time: TV Minister/Doctor Who Sold ‘Cancer Cure’ Of Suntan Lotion And Beef Flavoring Going To So Much Prison, Hooray!
Christine Daniel is a minister and doctor (although, not, to our knowledge, a realtor, dentist, or vampire hunter) who just wanted to help the world beat cancer! She did this by going on Trinity Broadcast Network and selling a mixture of suntan oil and beef flavoring. To people with cancer. As a cure. For cancer. [...]
RNC Spokeswoman Admits Harry Reid Was Right About Romney’s Taxes All Along, Whoops
Oh, whoops, we do not think the spokeswoman for the Republican National Committee, and the Daily Caller (the spokespaper for the RNC), meant to confirm that Harry Reid was right about Mitt Romney paying a big gorgeous goose egg in taxes for 10 years. But they accidentally did! Oh our tangled webs and cetera! In [...]
U.K. Has Its Own Elizabeth Warren, But She Yells At Google Instead Of Ben Bernanke (Video)
We here at Wonkette have a big melty spot (OUR HEART, PERVS) for ladies what yell at people. We are absolutely sure this has nothing to do with our upbringing, which as we recall was filled with gentle murmurings, hair ribbons, and warm pots of choc-o-late by the fire. There is Elizabeth Warren, first and [...]
Screw It, We Are Just Hiring Everyone Now
Are you a writer what got no job? Then you will not want to read the following, in which we hire ANOTHER person, as it will probably make you want to eat your own liver. And livers are not like hearts or kidneys. A liver is an organ YOU ACTUALLY NEED! Last week, we told [...]
Unsuccessful Dallas City Council Candidate Informs Insufficiently Homophobic Reporter Of His Ball-lessness, Resemblance To Lady Bits
As a woman what has been in the media for eeep, more than 22 years (?!), your editrix is not unfamiliar with voicemails of the angrier kind. Over the decades, she has been called a cunt and a Nazi and cunt Nazi, whose attitude could only be adjusted by a proper, good-old-fashioned raping. She has [...]
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Deleted Comment Of The Day: If We Were Really Progressive We’d Hate Blacks And Mexicans?
by Rebecca Schoenkopf
Oh, well this is … what is the opposite of fun? It is that. Let us think of some words for that: Gross. It is gross. And sad. And icky. And yuck! Oh, at first we assumed it was just some Occupy kids calling us out for our undying love of the Droner in Chief, [...]