Conservatives Still Unskewing Polls With Super-Smart Anti-Gay Math
As you found out a few weeks ago, we are on the Family Research Council’s mailing list. And as we found out yesterday, they are still doing that fun thing where they can look at polls and say, “Nah, that’s not the real thing that is real, we are going to make one up.” We [...]
What Do You Mean Connecticut’s ‘Women’s Day’ Isn’t About Boobs?
Yesterday was Connecticut’s “Women’s Day at the Capitol,” an annual get-together in which entire office buildings are full of women. This is a great thing to do — it’s an exciting day of discussion and learning, sure, but who really cares about that? It’s great because — did you know? — all those women… have [...]
Tennessee Legislators Stand Up For Sad, Gay-Hating Therapists
Are you in graduate school to get a counseling degree? Are you a Christian? Do you hate having to talk to sluts and gays? Well you are in luck! The Tennessee state legislature is standing up for your religious freedom to be as bigoted in your professional life as you are in your private one! [...]
It Is Time For Pope Francis To Release His (Or Her) Birth Certificate, Whatever, Who Can Ever Possibly Know?
Congratulations are in order to Jorge Bergoglio, who was elected pope of the world yesterday. It’s a little shady how he collected enough votes, and maybe there was some voter fraud among the cardinals, but Bergoglio is the one, no denying that. What we can deny, however, is that he is eligible. Maybe he is, [...]
Mitt Romney Back In Private Equity, Everybody Hide Your Pensions
We have been so very concerned for our dear friend Willard, who has lost too many elections now to be able to keep trying not to lose them. Where would he go? What would he do? A man’s gotta eat, and when you can only scrape together $13.7 million a year by continuing to exist, [...]
Arkansas Limits Abortions To Six Or Seven Minutes After Conception
Existing abortion rulings — including that big shiny one from the Supreme Court — make it pretty clear: Women have a right to abortion access in the period before the child is viable outside the womb. Unable to push time restrictions back much further than around 20 weeks, anti-abortion legislators have instead resorted to other [...]
LifeNews Finally Proves Link Between Abortion And Breast Cancer (By Making It Up)
LifeNews.com is a pretty cool website, at least for the people who say “pro-life” instead of “anti-abortion.” It brings together all the news that makes abortion look like it is not only killing full-grown toddlers, but their mothers and families and probably priests too. It’s the go-to place to see the abortion narratives in the [...]
All Logic And Reason Still Says Gay Marriage Is Gross
We thought maybe it was time for a quick reminder about the whole “gay marriage” issue, as it’s been a while since somebody said something hyperbolic about it, and we were worried that perhaps you’d forgotten how horrible gay marriage was, and about how letting two people fill out some legal paperwork is the exact [...]
Heroic Right Wing Columnists Taking Malaysian Bribe Money, Is That Not OK?
When Buzzfeed tells you that a “covert Malaysian campaign touched a wide range Of American media,” do not go thinking it is actually a “wide range.” The covert campaign touched a cabal of flag-waving right-wing columnists who, it seems, are so pumped about the free market that they are willing to just take money in [...]
Bloomberg Businessweek: Why Are All These Colored People Wrecking Everything Again?
Have you heard the news? The housing crisis is over! Instead, minorities are rolling around in houses full of cash. It is craziness! This must be the case, because it’s all over the cover of Businessweek, and they have never had an inappropriate cover before. What are these crazy Individuals Of Color doing with all [...]
U.N. Actually Responsible For Something Terrible: Black Helicopters Were Full Of Cholera The Whole Time
Almost 650,000 Haitians have contracted cholera since a giant earthquake struck the island in 2010. This is kind of a weird thing to have happened, since cholera is caused by a bacterium called Vibrio cholerae and not by being shaken around a lot and watching your house fall down. Cholera wasn’t a widespread problem in [...]
Genius-Doctor Indiana Republicans Approve Religion-Based Ultrasounds, How Nice Of Them
You’ve heard of RU-486, right? It’s that pill women can take that induces an abortion without anyone having to perform surgery. It’s way safer than surgical abortion (and pregnancy), and it doesn’t require any fancy surgical rooms to administer. It’s a good way to make abortions available in places where surgical ones, for whatever reason, [...]
Your Annotated Guide To Tony Perkins Wanting To Sacrifice Gay Boy Scouts
Yes, in case you didn’t know, Your Wonkette is indeed subscribed to receive emails from the Family Research Council — how else would we figure out the appropriate talking points to justify our medieval notions of a chaste society where God rules all and sluts are flogged? Usually, it is just some nonsense about how [...]
Groggy Old Mitch McConnell Bothering Pentagon About Nonsense Again
Mitch McConnell was a busy guy back on Nov. 14 — it was the day of the first Benghazi briefing, for one, and it was also the day he happened to be re-elected Senate minority leader. Amid all this excitement, however, he also sent a letter to the Pentagon’s congressional liaison, asking about a very [...]
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