Just imagine the pitch: “Mr. Moonves, think Golden Girls meets Crossfire,” says the excited producer. The Chairman frowns slightly. “BUT with mostly guys,” the producer continues. Moonves looks mollified. It’s a go. Of course viewed from the outside, the Right Wing™ already seems like an increasingly surreal network television experiment gone spectacularly off the rails, […]

JENNIFER RUBIN is so funny, and there are a thousand laughs in store for you in the Washington Post with the new, improved JENNIFER RUBIN. Everyone enjoys a talking JENNIFER RUBIN, from young to old. Taste, see, smell, and “desire to reassert America’s place in the world” with a JENNIFER RUBIN. Experience every emotion known […]

A couple of weeks ago, I ended my column with a lie: “Next time:” I wrote, “What if Paul Ryan blew a dog whistle so loudly that everybody, not just dogs, could hear it?” Of course I had no intentions of writing about this “What If?” subject at all; I added it as a throwaway […]

Watch out, because noted presidential scholar Bill “Falafel” O’Reilly has gazed upon Barack Obama and, hark unto his words, found him wanting, especially when compared to reputed Republican Abraham Lincoln, who never EVER would have cheapened his office by being fake interviewed by a portly Greek comedian. Yes, yes, “You didn’t build that” has officially […]

Like most of you, I do find fundamentalist Christians amusing, like clowns. Such merry puppets, spinning around and around!  Sometimes, however, it seems like they’ve gone into reruns: it’s all gays, gays, gays, and fetuses, fetuses, fetuses all the time, tsk. Our beloved Jesusy minstrels need some fresh material! What’s really a shame is that […]

So I was reading things ‘n’ stuff on the internet (like I do) last week, and was greatly amused by the story of how a local Iowa politician — a conservative one! – lamented that being endorsed by the Koch brothers’ Americans for Prosperity “was kind of like being endorsed by Charles Manson.” My first reaction, […]

It’s kind of a trick question, because of course you won’t be able to ever actually count your brain cells as they wither and pass while you read something by Ben Shapiro. Nobody can count that high! But you sure can FEEL them dying! Most people would interpret this sensation as being bored or ow, […]

Oh, jeez, it’s not like I didn’t know this was going to happen! I assumed it would be later rather than sooner, however, so this is where you all come in! Calling all Wonketeers! Your Pink Pony is in trouble (“Lassie, what’ll we do?”)! I know you all are a bunch of smartypants, so, like, […]

Ahhhhh, remember way back, like, six years ago (!!), when I would perform the weekly Condi Roundup at Yr Wonkette? What fun we had! We laughed and laughed! That’s how I remember it, anyhow. Wouldn’t it be fun to do that again? Well, yes, it would, come to think about it. But alas! Those were […]

Are  you sitting down? OK, this will come as a surprise, but people in Utah are going to protest the gay marriage! Pick your jaw off the floor, because it’s true! It happens next Tuesday in Salt Lake City (you’re done being shocked at this point, right?), and features famous heterosexual Brian Brown of the […]

Have you read about how Washington DC is getting so hip and fashionable and everything? Of course you haven’t, because the notion is ridiculous, so why would you waste your time? DC is not now, nor has it ever been, hip, trendy, or fashionable, and it never will be as long as the federal government […]

Ha ha, no, I don’t mean “What if Michelle Obama Sprouted 25 New Pairs of Feet, With 250 New Toes and Everything.” Are you listening to yourself? That would be ridiculous. I’m talking about something more prosaic, like all of a sudden everyone wakes up and it turns out that the First Lady is, like, […]

Oh, hello! Seems like SOMEBODY had a tenth anniversary celebration for yr Wonkette and forgot to invite me, the other pony, the one you thought had been sent to the glue factory forever. It’s my fault for not dropping by more often; maybe I should! Maybe I will. Nevertheless, I did do some strolling down […]