My week of guest blogging at Wonkette is basically at an end. And what have we learned in this past week? Pundits should stay off trampolines, that manganese is what makes malt liquor so tasty, that only God can prevent crime waves, that we’re not at war with Islamo-Fascists but with Islamo-Democrats, and much, much more. MORE »

Admitted soap stealer Michael Medved wants to keep our language as pure as, well, the soap he keeps boosting from the nation’s hotels. To wit, two clarifying linguistic suggestions from one of our most-mustachioed former film critics: MORE »

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals discusses the forgotten victims of bloodshed in Beirut and Lebanon: MORE »

Closeted adult illiterate Dick Cheney needs somebody to read the papers for him, says the NY Daily News. The VP recently circulated privately a job posting that included the following: MORE »

Hillary Clinton, talking at the Kaiser Family Foundation yesterday on the dread menaces of video games and abundant food: MORE »

Dan McQuade of Philadelphia Weekly/Philadelphia Will Do hips us to the props George W. Bush is getting from conservatives for his take-no-prisoners attitude toward choosing soft drinks. In the Philadelphia Daily News, Michael Smerconish chides Bush saying “shit” even as he praises the Ivy Leaguer for knowing what he wants in a calorie-free yet surprisingly tasty soft drink: MORE »

When we last checked in on the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee’s ad, it was to note that, “The DCCC is so committed to the environment they’re recycling stock photos and a Bill Clinton quote for America’s ‘new direction.’” Since then, the National Republican Congressional Committee has branded the unmemorable piece of filmmaking “despicable” and is spamming inboxes around the country with daily updated lists of Dems who have and have not “repudiated DCCC fundraising ad that dishonored fallen heroes.” MORE »

La Coulter on being backstage with what’s left of the Grateful Dead: MORE »

[Religious] supporters will be taking the extraordinary step of praying and believing that God will reduce crime in our nation’s capitol over the next six months…. MORE »

“We live in a system so insane,” says comedian/monologuist/diet visionary Dick Gregory, tearing it up at the NAACP’s 97th annual convention, “that once you get into a position to determine public policy, they will kill you. MORE »

The Food and Drug Administration is 100 years young this year. As part of the celebration, the agency is pushing a “centennial anthem” written by one of its own that is the musical equivalent of Thalidomide. Partial lyrics: MORE »