Jim Newell
Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.
Oh man, so, you know that cutesy little insight you may have Mitt Romney and the Secrets of Mormonism that you think could pass off as clever or “ironic”? Well, it’s not really interesting at all, nor is it clever, and you don’t know what irony is. So please, please, cut the crap, Brian Schweitzer [...]
How’s jolly warrior Eric Cantor going to bat for his House GOP colleagues today? Oh, just by acknowledging that there’s an anti-Semitism problem among House GOP members. Hmm. Perhaps there have been moments of discomfort for our beloved Majority Leader, the only Jewish Republican in the House?
Marco Rubio, who insists repeatedly that he has little interest in the vice presidency, continues to accept every fluffy interview that offers him a platform to talk about the vice presidency. Check out this most recent, sorta definitive one with Major Garrett, who asked him, “So, if Mitt Romney asks, you will you say no?” [...]
Rep. Virginia Foxx is a remarkable idiot from North Carolina whom our national political system has rewarded with vast power. As head of the House Education and Workforce subcommittee, she’s the House’s point-person on various important higher education issues of the day: exploding student debt loads, oversight of for-profit colleges, the funding of Pell Grants, [...]
Hey, what’s tackier than constructing a nauseating black-and-gold skyscraper in New York City dedicated to your weenie? Nothing. But check out this children’s cake that sparkly bronze television choad Donald Trump and his wife, Mrs. Wife, gave Ann Romney at the birthday party they threw for her last night. That’s Ann, the Republican nominee for [...]
You Democrats keep falling for Hillary Clinton. It’s been less than two years since her and her husband’s completely obnoxious path to losing the Democratic presidential nomination, the best thing that ever happened to her. She gets to fly around the world doing whatever while no one really pays attention but assumes she’s doing well, [...]
Do you know this guy Bob Beckel, the Fox News Liberal Who Isn’t Juan Williams? Usually his job is to go on Glenn Beck replacement The Five and have Dana Perino scratch his eyeballs out, while C. Montgomery Burns, The Joker, and, who else, Ashley Todd, maybe, cackle at the horror. But he also moonlights [...]
Celebrated guitar-plucking analberry Ted Nugent caused quite the stir with this delightfully braindead comment the other day: “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” Heh indeedy, what? Perhaps that was an “assassination joke,” or he was just chugging lighter [...]
And there was John Boehner, all alone at the Capitol Hill Club at 8 a.m., loadin’ up at the bar for another day of his miserable life. “Who’s president… I should be… the pressydent,” he slurred, nine empty bottles of Sutter Home merlot on his either side. “Hey who’re you asshole,” he says to the [...]
With Hillary Clinton slow drifting off towards her retirement in the assisted living community of Memes, the Hot Question (not really) in all of Washington is, who will be our nation’s next “top diplomat” to bring us a shooting war in Libya? No, wait, the Hot Question is, who will win the presidential election? If [...]
Any savvy DC insider worth a toot knows that the most effective senators, historically speaking, are the ones who fire all of their legislative staff to focus more on jabbering idiotic nonsense to no one. This was basically the thesis of Schoolhouse Rock, after all “I’m just a bill. Yes, I’m only a bill. And [...]
The Moms can really hotfoot it, but we have tracked them down with illegal surveillance tools: They are in St. Louis at an NRA convention, listening to every paranoiac in the country spout off about and/or purchase as many guns as possible. If the Moms are safe anywhere, it’s surely at a convention of gun [...]
We have been suggesting it for years: Palin/Santelli ’12. Santelli/Shimkus ’12. Becton/Santelli ’12. Newt/Santelli ’12. Sanford/Santelli ’12. Cornyn/Santelli ’12. “Jessie”/Santelli ’36. Mitterand/Santelli ’12. Eastman/Santelli ’12. Cheney/Santelli ’12. MAIL MAN/Santelli ’12. Jim Ready/Sanelli ’12. This is just a small sample of our recommendations. But now it is time to act. CNBC ranter jackass Rick Santelli, the [...]
Welcome to the Situation Room on uh CN, CNN. Here we have Hilary, Hilary Rose Clinton, no, that’s uhhh, that’s Hilary Rosen, the Obama administration’s president, according the latest, information. Miss Hilary will you, you said last night on CNN’s Best Political… it was the best political team on television, on CNN where you were. [...]
