Retarded pussy John Shadegg has apologized to Michael Bloomberg for saying, on the House floor, that Bloomberg’s daughter would be kidnapped by Muslim terrorists if another terrorist is given a criminal trial in a New York City court of law: “I apologize for the insensitivity of my remarks with respect to the Mayor or his family, however…” — here we go, the ominous “however” — “…I think it is important to note that this decision involves potential risk to innocent people.” From what we hear, Michael Bloomberg’s daugher ain’t so innocent, oh ho ho… ho ho… we’ll shutup now. [NYDN]

One week after killing someone, Joe Biden’s bloodthirsty stampede of vehicles has struck again. An NYPD car leading his motorcade crashed into a “livery cab” on its way to a Daily Show taping this afternoon. (Joe Biden’s on the Daily Show tonight — maybe he’ll have one of his patented “gaffes”!) These people driving cars tangentially connected to the vice president, who are they? And yes, it’s been several months, so Bob Novak jokes are cool. [NYDN, photo via "fleshtone" at Gothamist]

Wolf himself only needed to watch the first ~90 seconds of it, by which time he’d… you know… finished. [Twitter via Atrios]

It’s all Palin material out there, friends, sorry. Thousands of available Caribou Barbie blog items, swirling in the RSS feeds, looking for capture. This one: is the Newsweek cover here super sexist, as Sarah Palin claims it to be? Kind of, yes! It’s odd for Newsweek to just steal the leggiest insert photo from an old issue of Runner’s World and slap it on their cover. It doesn’t really “fit.” Eh, Newsweek just wants outraged links, we suppose. Sorry.

Insane Arizona Rep. John Shadegg has some experience with kidnapping children, so he knows what these Muzzies are thinking: “I saw the mayor of New York said today, ‘We’re tough. We can do it.’ Well, Mayor, how are you going to feel when it’s your daughter that’s kidnapped at school by a terrorist?” MORE »

Glenn Beck’s wingnut bitch, Doug Hoffman, the Conservative Party’s losing candidate in the NY-23 special election several weeks ago (remember that whole thing??), is so clueless about his current station in life that he has “unconceded” defeat to Democrat Bill Owens, who was sworn into the House on November 6 — just in time for a health care vote! He was losing by 5,000 until some late ballots were counted a few days ago, which brought the margin down to about 3,000. And yeah, sure, maybe Al Gore famously unconceded to George Bush Junior in 2000, BUT LIKE AN HOUR AFTER CONCEDING, JESUS. About 10,000 absentee ballots remain, and Hoffman has like a 0.2% chance of winning. It was Glenn Beck who ordered him to unconcede, which makes sense, because Doug Hoffman is Glenn Beck’s wingnut bitch. [The Hill]

• IT’S NOT OBAMA’S FAULT THAT HE WAS BORN A SAVAGE AFRICAN LION, OKAY? The Washington Times could shut down any day, so its columnists have precious little time to liquidate their massive inventories of Insane Racism! In his column today, editor emeritus Wesley Pruden writes THIS about the current Lion King, Barack Obama: “It’s no fault of the president that he has no natural instinct or blood impulse for what the America of ‘the 57 states’ is about. He was sired by a Kenyan father, born to a mother attracted to men of the Third World and reared by grandparents in Hawaii, a paradise far from the American mainstream.” See, as long as you spare Obama the blame for being a black savage, then it fits the Moonie definition of “nuance.” [Washington Times]

Now that the Washington Post no longer practices journalism, it can eschew standard editorial practices, such as having its staff book critic review a new book, for wackier PR flourishes, like having one semi-famous Democrat and one semi-famous Republican each write very predictable reviews of an insanely polarizing Republican politician’s new book. Today, the Post’s “liberal” review of Going Rogue came from Ana Marie Cox, who “cannot claim to have completely read ‘Going Rogue,’” but still thought it sucked. It’s more than understandable. But the Weekly Standard’s priggish Matthew Continetti did read the book for his conservative review, which is brilliant beyond all measure. MORE »

This e-mail made us sad. “In her column, Suzy offers her two cents on Sarah’s interview with Oprah, with the key takeaway is whether Sarah is real or not.” This “Suzy” sounds like a keeper, HEHNGNN? MORE »

Have you all pored through today’s RNCRESEARCHBRIEFING? Eh, it’s pretty good; we’ll give it a 7 on the ol’ RNCRESEARCHBRIEFING Scale. So: Michael Steele invented a video game, according to the RNCRESEARCHBRIEFING: “‘The Senate version of lapdogs.GOP.com is our latest effort to hold these Democrats accountable for their actions.’ – RNC Chairman Michael Steele.” Great, let’s check it out. MORE »

Don’t click the link. Don’t watch the video. Don’t listen to this shitbird. Okay maybe watch a little bit. [PJTV]