RUH ROH: “Attorney General Michael Mukasey collapsed Thursday night while giving a speech to the Federalist Society in Washington, according to three senior administration officials… At 10:30 p.m. Eastern, medical officials were still working on him on the stage, administration witnesses said.” [Politico]
Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey at an abbatoir today to celebrate Thanksgiving, a full week beforehand. After pardoning the turkey, Palin partook in her favorite post-election hobby — answering questions from the media — while a turkey butcher worked in the background SLAUGHTERING A TURKEY IN A DEATH GRINDER, while smiling, a la Fargo. It is hilarious. Equally hilarious are the MSNBC captions in this clip, such as, “Gov. Palin Not Realizing Incongruity Of Her Words Versus Her Backdrop.” Liberals. [YouTube]
Ha, the AP has finally called Missouri, the famous bellwether (or dare we say, FAIR-WEATHER?) state that has voted with the winning presidential election candidate since 1956, for John “Walnuts” McCain, whom some of you may remember. This means Meghan McCain will have to get a “Show Me” tattoo on her forehead, as promised! [AP]
Wonkette operative “tom m.” informs us of the latest disturbing addition to Barack Obama’s cabinet, which already includes a space pirate: “Why is Obama nominating Sally Jesse to head HHS?” [Washington Post]
Ted Stevens has represented Alaska in the Senate since the days of Pangaea, when Alaska was a Land Bridge from Russia and he became famous by killin’ Cro-Magnon commies who kept crossing over to take factory jobs from “real Americans.” He wouldn’t resign from the Senate after being convicted on seven counts and wouldn’t drop out of his Senate race. This makes it all the more shocking that he has conceded the race to [random warm-bodied Democrat] today, after losing. His Very Classy statement follows! MORE »
Today is an exciting day on the Corner, the best National Review blog on the Internet, period. Not only is the fat Mexican secretary Jonah Goldberg yelling at slummy Kathleen Parker for trying to sneak into the Sexy Obama Dance Parties with her Gorilla God-hating cigarette dildo columns, but Parker’s ex-BFF, Kathryn Jean Lopez — who No Longer Reads Wonkette — has been begging National Review’s readers for money in at least 20 million posts for the last two days. Donate, people! MORE »
Doctor President Ron Paul recently went on Alex Jones’ conspiracy theory radio show and said this, about Obama and the G-20 meeting (which caused terrible traffic in certain parts of DC last weekend, and nothing else): “A world central bank, worldwide regulation and world control of the whole system, of all the commodities and all the natural resources, what else can you call it other than world government?” MORE »
That girl who nailed Eliot Spitzer, Ashley “Alexandra” Dupre, has given an interview to ABC’s Diane Sawyer as part of Sawyer’s “Prostitution in America” investigative journalistic reportorial KGB-spy series. Look forward to all sorts of juicy nuggets along the lines of: “In high school, Dupre was an honor student, worked in a restaurant and ‘never really socialized and went … to any of the parties, the high school parties. I got along with everyone, I was kind of popular. I was pretty popular.’” If she was so popular, WHY DIDN’T SHE GO TO THE PARTIES? You know, The High School Parties? That’s all. [ABC News]
Unlicensed artisan Sam Wurzelbacher, known to most Americans as “Joe the Plumber,” has gone from interviews on CNN/MSNBC/Fox News everyday and being the only talking point of a major party’s presidential campaign to much higher vistas: an interview with the Tufts college newspaper and the single most important journalist since Mencken, Michael Bendetson, “a freshman who has not yet declared a major.” Joe explains that he will never have any success doing anything popular again, except for that weird blog and book.MORE »
Hmm. It appears as though this is happening next summer. Should we see Sean Hannity’s Bill Ray Cyrus brood over an extended version of “Achy Breaky Heart,” or shall we instead go with Sean Hannity’s Oliver North, who will… sell weapons to us? In musical form? What? [Freedom Concerts '09]
Ha, the AP has finally called Missouri, the famous bellwether (or dare we say, FAIR-WEATHER?) state that has voted with the winning presidential election candidate since 1956, for John “Walnuts” McCain, whom some of you may remember. This means Meghan McCain will have to get a “Show Me” tattoo on her forehead, as promised! [
Wonkette operative “tom m.” informs us of the latest disturbing addition to Barack Obama’s cabinet, which already includes a 
Ted Stevens has represented Alaska in the Senate since the days of Pangaea, when Alaska was a Land Bridge from Russia and he became famous by killin’ Cro-Magnon commies who kept crossing over to take factory jobs from “real Americans.” He wouldn’t resign from the Senate after being convicted on seven counts and wouldn’t drop out of his Senate race. This makes it all the more shocking that he has conceded the race to [random warm-bodied Democrat] today, 
Today is an exciting day on the 
That girl who nailed Eliot Spitzer, 
Unlicensed artisan Sam Wurzelbacher, known to most Americans as “Joe the Plumber,” has gone from interviews on CNN/MSNBC/Fox News everyday and being the only talking point of a major party’s presidential campaign to much higher vistas: an interview with the Tufts college newspaper and the single most important journalist since Mencken, Michael Bendetson, “a freshman who has not yet declared a major.” Joe explains that he will never have any success doing anything popular again, except for that 
Hmm. It appears as though this is happening next summer. Should we see Sean Hannity’s Bill Ray Cyrus brood over an extended version of “Achy Breaky Heart,” or shall we instead go with Sean Hannity’s Oliver North, who will… sell weapons to us? In musical form? What? [