Jim Newell
Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.
May 23, 2012
Chris Matthews: Cable News Never Would Have Let That Bad Iraq Reporting Go Unchecked
We don’t know what his exact words were, but according to this write-up of a recent media panel in Boston, Chris Matthews was cryogenically frozen during the years 2002 and 2003: “Hardball host Chris Matthews argued that because of the rise of opinion-based news networks, the non-critical aspect of the media is gone, going as [...]
May 23, 2012
Angry Old Coot Alan Simpson Lashes Out At ‘Wretched Group’ Of Fellow Old Coots
Insane old man and former Wyoming Sen. Alan Simpson, of Simpson-Bowles non-fame, hates Social Security and wants to destroy it but gets really angry when you suggest that he wants to do that, or, really, when you say anything to him. He ain’t got’n the patience for your politenesses and manner-likenesses, so shut the heck [...]
If you thought that the full chorus of national voices in the Democratic party might have no problem with — and in fact would embrace, not merely for political reasons but also because they believe it and consider it central to whatever remains of their ideological foundaiton — the long-promised assault on the practice of [...]
May 22, 2012
To Which Television Job Is This Latest Vapid Political Daughter Entitled?
Abby Huntsman is the 26-year-old daughter of Utah owner and 94th-place finisher in the 2012 Republican primaries, Jon Huntsman. She made a couple of wacky YouTubes with her two sisters (“hehe, look at how funny we are, we’re so crazy, aren’t we precious?”) before her father lost, in shame. And now, what’s this, she wants [...]
May 21, 2012
Let’s Classify This AZ Secretary of State’s Birther Email Demands As ‘Comedy Gold’
Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett has been in hot pursuit of extra-double email verification from the Hawaii government of Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Bennett made a pledge to the state’s voters — no extra-double email verification, no Obama on the ballot. What’s the big deal, haters? He’s only seeking this unique extra verification because [...]
May 21, 2012
The ‘Evangelicals Won’t Turn Out For a Mormon’ Narrative Is Done, Spent, Over
So, who still wants to expose the evil secret teachings of the Mormons, because Mitt Romney is one of them and he is running for president? This wishy-washy Beltway Wonkette hack author doesn’t and can’t imagine that any of the millions of liberals who’ve said “A candidate’s religious beliefs shouldn’t matter” or “Even if he [...]
Last week we wrote about the latest program that House Republicans drew from their box of Valuable Programs That Benefit Any Number Of People And Aren’t That Expensive But Should Be Destroyed Solely Because A Democrat Likes Them, the American Community Survey — a form of several dozens questions sent to random households each month, [...]
Well tut tut, a Friday news dump: Mitt Romney’s first general election ad! Since it’s an official ad, it’s nice and sunny and banal, unlike the “HOW MANY FOUNDING FATHERS DID OBAMA RAPE TODAY?” ones that his forty Super PACs will be running nonstop. It’s about Mitt Romney’s first day. What will happen? It will [...]
May 18, 2012
Meanwhile, In Congress, A Veritable Donnybrook Erupts Over Libations
Oops, it’s Friday, better check in on our beloved 112th Congress to see if they did anything (please god, spare us) or even showed up this week. Good heavens… fisticuffs? “One congressman accused another of drinking on the job in the midst of a tense exchange Wednesday night over whether the House would debate an [...]
May 18, 2012
Obama May Not Make The Arizona Ballot For Usual Stupid Arizona Reasons
Your Wonkette is going to write a fun sentence and it is going to be true. Arizona’s Secretary of State has threatened not to put President of the United States of America Barack Obama on the ballot this fall because (a) he had a persuasive chit-chat with World Net Daily arch-grifter Jerome Corsi and (b) [...]
May 18, 2012
Rahm Emanuel Has Been Locked In His Bedroom, Sobbing, For 24 Hours
Today is the best day of Rahm Emanuel’s life. Okay, maybe a close second, behind that loooooong day he spent with Tim Shriver at the White House honing his sensitivity skills. But today, man, just look at how those media suckers are eating up his story about being so “livid” that he won’t even return [...]
May 17, 2012
Liberal New York Times Simply Does Not Care For Obama’s Facial Expression (Update: Nevermind!)
What is funnier than a typographical error on the front page of the N Y Times Dot Com, the Tumblr of Record? It’s great, because they’re like, “Hey, we’re the New York Times, we’re the best, feed me caviar,” and then they screw up and everyone chuckles for two seconds. Today they posted a TimesCast [...]
We knew it, you knew it, they knew it, your crazy white great-uncle who forwards you paranoic chain letters in blue 30-point Comic Sans font with neon green background knew it, and now the U.S. Census knows it: The minorities, they’re popping out babies like the dickens, and the flaccid whites can no longer keep [...]
