Reports are already in of Mustafa Abu al-Yazid, al Qaeda’s commander in Afghanistan, taking responsibility for the assassination of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan today. Al Qaeda already took responsibility for the first unsuccessful attempt on Bhutto’s life back in October. In some slight potential good news, they are claiming they did it just because they disliked her and her desire to root them out of western Pakistan and not as a favor to current PM Uncle Pervy before possibly attacking us (like they did for the Taliban back in 2001). Yeah, no, we’re not really sure that it makes us feel safer, but we’d it like to. [ABC News]

John Edwards is a plaintiff’s lawyer and a politician and so, frankly, we distrust much of what comes out of his pretty, pretty mouth because, hello, politicians tell you what you want to hear. But, Johnny’s been saying how much he abhors those 527 groups created by the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform because they can just spend money willy-nilly and run ads against candidates. Of course, like the Alliance for a New America, (run by a local SEIU chapter) they could also run ads for a candidate, like they are for Edwards who would totally like for them to stop, he swears. Of course, the union leaders mighta sorta discussed the 527 when they were discussing what kinds of support they could offer with Edwards’ staff, but everyone swears that they totally wouldn’t've mentioned the 527 they were starting in order to advertise in support of him when talking about how to support him. Luckily, the laws that define impermissible coordination are so lenient that, according to D.C. lawyer Ken Gross “I don’t know if my wife and I met the standard for coordination before we decided to have a child.” Lawyers are funny. [NY Times]

Our “beloved” President has reminded us all over and over again that just because the terrorists are Muslim doesn’t mean all Muslims are terrorists. Even though it’s just a pre-written talking point and no one’s real sure that even he buys it, it’s actually both true and one of the smarter things he’s ever said. But, this is a campaign season and little nuances like “not all Muslims are hell bent on the extermination of life as we know it” sometimes don’t fly with voters who need short, quick talking points, like the only helpfully provided above by by John Deady the New Hampshire State Co-Chair of Veterans for Rudy. This is a clash of civilizations, people, and just because we weren’t quite able to exterminate the Muslims with those crusades lo those many years ago doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try again which is why we should all vote for Giuliani on ‘08. Obviously. [The Guardian]

We know, we were offline for a little bit this morning. Unfortunately, we forgot to hire someone to take care of the hamsters before we left for the holidays, and it turns out that they really don’t survive that long without food and water and Pet Smart doesn’t open until 10:30. But now we’ve got a new one, and he seems relatively healthy even with that twitch he seems to have, so I’m sure we’ll be fine now.

Don’t forget to come back around 8:00 ET tonight to join Jim as he takes on the Herculean task of liveblogging tonight’s Republican Presidential debates! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll realize why we at Wonkette drink so heavily. Join in the snark on the comment threads as the Republican candidates try to out-Republican one another until the smell of testosterone gets too overpowering and Anderson calls an end to the whole thing so they can all be alone.

So, like, you know how Richard Roberts resigned as President of Oral Roberts University and everyone totally assumed it was about all those charges and lawsuits and whatnot? Richard “I Don’t Know When To STFU And Go Away” Roberts says, no, not so! He told the students at ORU on Wednesday that God told him on Thanksgiving to resign, just like s/he told him to deny everything and stay on in the first place. God has a plan to do “something supernatural” for the university if Roberts gets gone. Regents Chairman George Pearsons told the students “ORU is a place where love is king.” Do you think they even listen to what they’re saying? Like, ever? [Yahoo News]

Pakistani President Pervez “Uncle Pervy” Musharraf stepped down today as army commander so he can try ruling the country he took over in a military coup a while back as strictly a civilian. Reports are that he wept at having to hand over the “ceremonial baton,” but I don’t think that’s actually a euphemism for anything. Not that he wept for the shitty state he’s gotten Pakistan into or anything, he was just really, really sad that he doesn’t get to wear the fun uniform anymore. [Yahoo News]

It can be really difficult to carry on an adulterous affair when you’re a high-profile elected official who always travels with a security detail. I mean, you can’t ditch the guys because ending up dead would call attention to it, but you have to trust that they won’t talk too. And then there’s the expense of taking them with you - how do you hide that from your wife, let alone the auditors of the government for which you work? Well, you know Rudy “Ferretman” Giuliani figured that out pretty quick.

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Nicholas, how do you expect me to walk away when you insist on thrusting yourself into my consciousness with every opportunity? It is unfair, my love, for you to take up with that French hussy and yet strive to keep me on a string. If you don’t want me, please let me go and find someone new! Those pictures of you being all compassionate and stuff were truly too much for me, and people have begun to talk. [NY Times]

Last week, your editors were offered the opportunity to interview someone at YouTube about tonight’s debate and “YouTube’s impact on the overall debate and political process” which is all so totally like “real” journalism that it naturally fell to the newest and least journalisty Wonketteer. And, that lack of experience is why I had no idea until 5 minutes ago when trying to find a picture of Steve Grove, YouTube’s, uh, “Head” of News & Politics that he was OMG smoking hot [courtesy of Martha Rial at the St. Petersburg Times]. Oh, and he was smart and said smart things which I wrote down and, boy am I glad I didn’t actually have any idea that this was who I was talking to because I probably would’ve sounded even dumber. That stuff, and Wonkette’s other alcohol-inspired YouTube debate question are after the jump.

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Virginia is one of nineteen states with open primaries, in which voters of any (or no) political affiliation may vote in any party’s primary. The vast majority of people who bother voting in primaries don’t bother to go around and try to mess up the other party’s elections because it’s a lot of effort to be that juvenile but, apparently, the Republican Party of Virginia has reason to believe otherwise.

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