Never has plain old bread and a cup of joe tasted so good. No wonder Le Pain Quotidien is so popular — the food is simple and delicious enough to stand on its own. And usually, your Wonkette doesn’t buy the whole organic hoo-ha, but LPQ really makes it work. [This is the last review […]

Tuesday, April 7: Fans of Top Chef, you remember guest judge Wylie Dufresne — he runs WD-50 in NYC, and is famous for experimental molecular gastronomy. Well, he’ll be here in DC alongside tapas genius Jose Andres at the National Museum of American History to talk about Spanish food. No free samples, sorry. [Smithsonian]

On the corner of 7th St. NW and Florida Ave. NW, in the parking lot of the CVS, there is a makeshift photo booth where you can get your photo taken against the backdrop of a Cadillac, a grandiose staircase, Outer Space or a bottle of Ciroc vodka. Your Wonkette wasn’t going to take a […]

Friday, April 3: Christian Finnegan of Chapelle’s Show and Best Week Ever fame comes to DC Improv till Sunday. Listen to his comedy bit about the DC metro system, which is he says is “the fucking Tron compared to NYC subways, where there’s always someone “twisting one off in the corner.” Gross. [DC Improv]

Your Wonkette has passed by many flowering trees and has yet to determine, what, exactly, is a cherry blossom tree. Don’t be fooled by the Bradford pear tree, AKA the Semen Tree, which, besides umm, not being pink, has the awful smell of you-know-what. They’re all over DC, and dumb tourists are taking photos in […]

Friday, April 3: If you like Justice and Daft Punk, you might be interested in Sebastien Tellier, who also hails from France and is essential to the French dance circuit. He will be bringing his beautiful, piano-laced electro music to the 9:30 Club. 10PM. [MySpace]

If you always wanted to be part of those spontaneous demonstrations that just happen in public (like freezing in place at the Grand Central Station, or breaking out in a musical number in the middle of a food court), then here’s your chance. This Saturday, in honor of National Pillow Fight Day, the DC Defenestrators […]

Tuesdays: Cafe Mozart, a German deli on H St. NW, is selling draft beers for a reduced price during happy hour every Tuesday. Be sure to order something sausagey from the bar menu — their wurst selection is supposed to be off the hook. [Cafe Mozart]

If you go to the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus show Over the Top, don’t expect Cirque du Soleil, because you’re not going to get it. You’re going to get what you paid $15 for — lousy tricks, uncoordinated dancing and cheesy dialogue. However, you will be enlightened with knowing where exactly Eastern […]

Tuesday, March 31: Since the beginning of March, National Geographic Society has been playing films, TV programs and documentaries for free every Tuesday at noon for the Golden Triangle lunch crowd. Catch the Naked Science episode on time machines, then spend the rest of your day thinking about the space-time continuum. [NG]

Every time a restaurant in DC opens up, your Wonkette prays that it’s not another lounge-y room with house music, small plates and overpriced drinks. Policy, on U Street, opened last Saturday — and it’s got all this and more.

Overworked, Ann Taylor-wearing women of DC (and especially Hill Women): it’s time to learn a thing or two about sex appeal. Hip-hop dance teacher and choreographer Shira Goldberg will be teaching the dance moves from Beyonce’s music video “All the Single Ladies: (Put A Ring on It)” in a workshop this Sunday at First Class, […]

Friday, March 27: The Paul Taylor Dance Company performs a Mexican-themed dance extravaganza at the Kennedy Center, maybe in anticipation of Hillary Clinton’s visit to Mexico this week, or maybe not. 8PM, $22-65. [Kennedy Center]

Thursday, March 26: Local DMV rappers, producers and vocalists recreate and redefine the songs off Jay Z’s 1996 debut album, Reasonable Doubt, which helped push the hip-hop powerhouse into the big leagues. 8PM at Expo, $15. [Washington Post]

Thank you, Capital Segway, for giving DCites another thing to cringe about: Segway sightseeing tours. Now that the weather is warming up, flocks of fanny-packed tourists are just rolling around town (these people in the photo above were in front of the White House) in their Segways, giving Our Fine City a bad name.