Major Major Major Major

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Don't mention the war

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So, the dirt file on Donald Trump that some Russian hackers stole from the Democratic National Committee has supposedly come to light, and it is a shocking exposé of depravity, violence and sex. No,...
Sit on it and spin, you orange baboon.

We sent Major Major Major Major to the Donald Trump Howler Monkey Circus stop in Atlanta! Word poop was flung!
Is that a Glock in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

In case you were feeling down on America for flirting with one Mr. Donald J. Trump, fear not! There are other countries to feel bad about (while continuing to feel bad about America, because...
Everybody must get stoned

Richard Branson, famous rich person and repository of some of the world's remaining sexxxiness reserves since the passing of Prince (PBUH), is so MAD, you guys, about the latest United Nations Drug Policy Agreement that...
Ask your parents

A German TV comic faces prison in Germany after insulting Turkish President Tayyip Erdoğan on the air with a satirical poem that speculated about Erdoğan's love of sex with ungulates, among other things. Jan Böhmermann hosts "Neo Magazin" (kind...
Goodness ain't what got 'em, honey

In weird news, a high Indian official is backing Elizabeth II and Great Britain in a lawsuit over a big-ass diamond that is a prize part of Britain's crown jewels. The Koh-i-noor, which means "Mountain...
Dirka dirka jihad Muhammad jihad!

Southwest Airlines made a strong bid for an Equine Posterior Award recently by kicking a UC Berkeley student off the plane for having the temerity to speak Arabic in the Post 9/11 World (aka...
Help me, Jon Stewart, you're my only hope!

Say! It has been a while since we checked in with Friends of Wonkette the Bundys, the gun totin’, pocket-constitution-waving, cow-farming poop-trench-fillers. How are they doing in federal custody while awaiting trial for shenanigans...

While you were all eating cornflakes and thinking about hamster porn early this week, Vladimir Putin was being a dick. I know, right, what is up with that? Specifically, Putin was being a dick by...
Wingnuts raised hell in 1968 about this Black Jesus, too.

Hey, did you kidz watch that new show Thursday night, "Black Jesus," on the Adult Swim Cartoons For Stoned Grownups Teevee Channel? We did not, because we are traveling and without TiVo, and...

The steampunk cosplayers at "Radio Shack" (seriously, why don't they just call it "Ye Olde Vacuum Tube And Difference Engine Emporium"?) have transgressed the unwritten law, according to the American "Family" Association, by promulgating...

So, everybody was all Happy and Nice Timey about the New York Police Department ditching its "Demographics Unit," a.k.a. Muslim surveillance unit, right? All it did was anger New York and New Jersey's Muslim...

Professional Eddie Munster imitator Wisconsin Republican Rep. Paul Ryan had to be feeling pretty pleased with himself yesterday, raining all over B. Barry Bamz's football-spikin' party with a new 10-year budget proposal. Ryan's lil'...

Guten Morgen, meine Wonkadamen und Wonkaherren! Feeling cheerful about your sportsball brackets so far? Or even more cheerful because you do not follow sportsball? Well, we are here to stop that good feeling, and...

Remember that mean teacher in Louisiana who told one of her kids he was "stupid" for being a Buddhist? And remember how his parents sued and the ACLU was all, "Hey, mean lady, you...

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