Fox News Worries About Extinction (Its Own)
As Rupert Murdoch’s News International (UK subsidiary of American company News Corp) saga continues in Blimeyland, Americans may not give two faggots about it. But there’s an eentsy beentsy spider of a chance that if Murdoch’s media ship sinks, Fox News might eventually be the last ones on deck singing Nearer My God To Thee. [...]
Losing French Person Sarkozy Red-Faced And Flailing In Debate With Commie Marxist Kenyan Socialist
Here’s l’update for those of you who are bedazzled by the French presidential election. The two candidates had their only debate on Wednesday night. We have written many, many words about it below, but if you prefer, you can listen to a hip-hop remix of François Hollande’s statements and a daft-punk remix of Sarkozy. Le [...]
Susan G. Komen Staffers Dropping Like Flies
Leslie Aun, Susan G. Komen’s national vice president of communications, quit yesterday so that she can spend more time with someone else’s children, in her new role as VP of communications for Venture Philanthropy Partners. We would like to shout a big Yay! but instead we’re muttering a small yay. Because really, it’s the Komen [...]
Journalism Job! Have You Applied Yet At Al-Qaeda’s Mag?
We all have our favorite news and information sources, so why should we be surprised when followers of al-Qaeda have one too? Meet Inspire, the slick, glossy mag created by American citizen (and former cheerleader) Samir Khan and featured columnist and American citizen, Anwar al-Awlaki. Since 2010, Inspire has been thick with, well, inspiring articles such [...]
Nicolas Sarkozy In Bedouin With Gaddafi
With only seven days to go until the final round of voting in France’s presidential election, some lefty terrorist media organization published documentary evidence that Nicolas Sarkozy was promised 50 Million freedom fries in campaign contributions from snappy dresser and all around nice guy Muammar Gaddafi. Here’s what’s in the little letter of money promises, [...]
Pasties Take A Licking From UK Parliament
The Land of Newz is all aflutter this morning about the UK’s plunge into a double-dip recession that is the worst since 1975. What is the esteemed Members of Parliament’s solution, in line with their super successful austerity plan? A 20 percent tax on hot pasties, of course. No tax on cold pasties, though. So, [...]
French Resistance Encodes Election Results On Twitter: The Dwarf Has Pawned His Rolex
In the land of perpetual ennui, where humor is not a cultural norm, the French had their first round of presidential elections yesterday, and also their second revolution. This time, they didn’t have to show up at the Bastille with burning baguettes, they just stayed in their pajamas and revolted on Twitter, flouting la loi [...]
Wal-Mart de Mexico Flips a Peso: Bribes or Baggers? Bribes Win
The New York Times gave the Justice Department more work to do yesterday (the JD is already up to its ears in News Corp bribes to UK cops n’ Russian billboards) when they published a bunker-busting exposé about Wal-Mart bribing everybody they could in Meheeco (~ $24 million) in order to build their dime-store empire [...]
Susan G. Komen Parboils The Truth With Dictator’s Daughter Denials
The Susan G. Komen Foundation tried desperately to distance itself yesterday from the slight to-do that erupted after they partnered with Gulnara Karimova, the Dictator’s Daughter. How’d that go? Pfhhht. Komen wrote on its blog and told Registan’s Nathan Hamm that “their agreement is with, and only with, the National Breast Cancer Association of Uzbekistan” [...]
The Life And Loves Of Susan G. Komen’s Newest Bosom Buddy, Gulnara Karimova
In case you were worried that we were a bit harsh with our love letter to Susan G. Komen Foundation’s newest bosom buddy and budding dictatoresse Gulnara Karimov — the ‘most hated woman in Uzbekistan’! — we decided to dig more deeply for horror comedy gold double-check our work and find out if our girl [...]
Susan G. Komen Foundation In Hot Sexy Hook-Up With Dictator’s Daughter
The Susan G. Komen Foundation has been so busy trying to abort their corporate image and stem the (menstrual) flow of their profits, they may have forgotten to do the proper amount of VETTENING of their spanking new breast-saving partner for the Susan G. Komen Uzbekibekibekistan Race for the Cure, a certain delightful dicatator’s daughter [...]
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