Gay Men Goo-Goosh All Over Dictator’s Daughter, Unaware They’d Be Imprisoned in Her Country
Our dear old friend Gulnara Karimova and her daddy-o, Uzbekistan’s dictator Islam Karimov, are up to their usual mafiosi behavior, like torturing poets who mock them. But the much-hated (by her own people) multi-careerist continues trying desperately to gain pop stardom in America. She keeps pushing her groovy new not-on-the-cover-of-Billboard album under her daddy’s pet [...]
Romney Supporters And Syria’s Assad Have Thing In Common: Nails Girls
While the uneducated, common people in America are completely unaware of “how the systems work,” they are now SO relieved to have Romney supporter woman-in-Range-Rover telling them what’s what. “Nails Girls” across our freedom nation listen with bated breath, while buffing elite nails until they bleed (OOPSY!), for directions from their betters on how to [...]
Jordanian Politician Forgets To Bring Human Shields To TV Debate
This weekend, on live TV, Jordanian MP Mohammed Shawabka was debating former MP and political activist Mansur Murad. Name calling ensued. First, Shawabka called Murad a Syrian spy. Which is kind of true. Murad openly supports Syria and is the only Jordanian who has visited Assad and continues to bring delegations to Syria. He also [...]
Gay? Murderer? The Telenovela Life of Mexican President-Elect Enrique Peña Nieto
The more we learn about Mexican president-elect Enrique Peña Nieto, the scarier things get. Behind the Pompadour and circumstance, there lurks a dark and nasty side to the pretty-boy president-to-be. First off, he’s a slut. Big deal. So was Bill Clinton (and John F. Kennedy, for that matter). But a slutty assassin and wife killer [...]
Grocery Shoppers Outraged Their Mexican Election Voting Bribes Were So Puny
In our second segment in the series Everything We Always Wanted To Know About Mexico But Now That We Know Can We Unknow It?, we bring you the latest fashions in election vote-fixing, brought to you by president-elect Enrique Peña Nieto’s party, the oddly-named Institutional Revolutionary Party or PRI. (How do you institutionalize revolution, anyway?) [...]
Mexico Elects Sarah Palin President
Assumed Mexican president-elect Enrique Peña Nieto is a snappy dresser. He’s 45 years old with a handsome baby face. He has a molded Pompadour. He poses for the cameras “like Brad Pitt and DiCaprio.” He’s been compared to John F. Kennedy. He’s a political movie star, married in a storybook top hats n’ tails wedding [...]
Youth Rise Up Against Big-Haired Mexican Presidential Candidate, Make Him Hide In Bathroom
This weekend was presidential election weekend in Mexico, which basically means there was no alcohol available… anywhere. So, Mexicans across the land, in preparation for the long, dry weekend, were seen exiting grocery stores on Friday, sombreros atilt, leading donkeys laden with beer, tequila and limes, on their way to get some Zzzzs under a [...]
Governor Asks Shooters Pretty Please Self-Regulate While Utah Burns Because Of Shooters
OK cowboys and cowgirls, gather ’round the semi-automatic campfire for a heartwarming story of the destruction of land, homes and wildlife in the great American state of Utah. Here’s the story in a nutshell: Utah’s “Dump Fire” (so named because it was set off by some Utahans target shooting at a dump) is only 30% [...]
Dictator’s Daughter Gulnara Karimova Buying Her Pop-Ularity
Wonkette’s favorite dictator’s daughter, Uzbekistan’s Gulnara Karimova, has been laying low since the embarrassment of her failed New York fashion launch and the online kerfuffle about her relationship with Susan G. Komen’s Race for the Cure. It looks like fashion gets all messy when you use slaves to pick your cotton, and philanthropy as a [...]
Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy: Hurry Up And Wait For Jail
America let George W. Bush return to his quiet, private life so his undocumented workers he could clean up dust bunnies in his suburban McMansion even though he tortured us all (some of us, literally) for eight years playing neo-con puppet to Dick Cheney’s and John Bolton’s war administration. This says a lot about America [...]
Arab Media Chokes On ‘His Penis’
As France’s new president, François Hollande (in his little suit), is busy making German Chancellor Angela Merkel believe in stimulation, he’s also been filling up his 34-person cabinet with women (17!), non-Parisians (18!), people under 40 (7!), and fierce anti-globalists (1!). His picks have been described as “moderates,” but the wingnuts over at The Independent [...]
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Owns Your Vag But Penises Must Run Free
Thank Jeebus that growing (medicinal) pot is legal in Arizona. Because if you have half a brain, you pretty much have to be stoned 24/7 in order to live there. Now, if you happen to be a woman with a brain AND an active libido, you might as well high-tail it right outa Dodge. Because [...]
Greek Neo-Nazis Win 21 Seats, Charm Nation With Reminder It Is ‘Time To Fear’
While America’s been focusing this week on incredibly important issues like Rush Limbaugh’s induction into the Missouri Hall of Flame, Obama’s no-shi moment, how Obama’s gayness will be the end of him and how undercover bathhouse boy will save us from the gayz, and how gas prices are all Obama’s fault but not really but [...]
blog advertising is good for you
