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Liz Colville

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Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

Mitt Romney: Students Should Get ‘As Much Education As They Can Afford’

Truly shocking, Mitt Romney has moved on from chastising America for copying him to more important things, like the fact that education is expensive for a reason: so that only people who can afford it are permitted to get...

Fox News Non-Apologizes For Reporting Individual Mandate Unconstitutional

Fox News tried, it really tried, to make lies true, and to expect something so thoroughly, in the deepest crevasses of its soul, that when hearing the opposite it, it just heard its wish, its dream, namely for the...

Here Is Glenn Beck’s Very Unique 2012 Electoral Map

Well, over on whatever website or smelly airwave Glenn Beck currently resides, Beck and his friends/unpaid interns have decided to make some predictions about the 2012 presidential election upon which the fate of the universe rides. Here is Glenn's...

Obama Biographer Accused of ‘Fraud’ for Editing Obama’s ‘Appalling’ Grammar Skills

The truth has come out: Barack Obama is not a genius. We're sorry, we know you have always thought this to be true. But a very serious man and inadvertent Obama scholar by the name of Jack Cashill has...

Barack Obama Would Like Anyone With A Gift Registry To Just Give To Him Instead

President Obama, that is his name, has come up with a brilliant new way to try to beat his opponent Mitt Romney at money-making, despite the fact that they seem to have more money than anyone would need to...

Right Wing News Ends War On Women With Peaceful List of Hottest Conservative Women in Media

The point of women is to stand tall, butt pointing just so (say, eastward), bosom pointing just the opposite so (westward). The point of conservative women in the media is to do this, plus tell conservative men everywhere what...

Typo Changes Everything We Know About Obama, Despite Being Typo

A 1990 article in a hard-hitting publication called Vanity Fair either accidentally revealed a state secret: Obama spent some years in Singapore, not Indonesia, as a child! OR pooooossibly, but this is not very likely, an uninformed intern wrote...

Ex-Senate Candidate Stands His Ground, Shoots Guy Whose Ground It Allegedly Also Was

Hiram Lewis, a lawyer and a failed servant of the American people (he lost the 2006 West Virginia Senate race to Robert Byrd, and also lost two Attorney General elections), has been arrested for shooting a guy who apparently...

Failed President Sought Companionship Of President

After Obama's quashing of lapsed aisle-straddler John McCain in 2008, people apparently thought this loser and winner could come together and do great things, as if the election were a tie or something, as if this were post-Blair England...

North Dakota Wants To Get Rid Of Property Taxes Because It Is Mostly Grass Anyway

North Dakota is deciding today whether to eliminate property taxes altogether, which would make it the first state since brilliant Alaska in 1980 to eliminate a major source of funding for things that people actually need, like people who...

Idaho Jails Discover Exciting New Potential Guests: Ladies Who Take RU-486

Jennie Linn McCormack, a single mom from Pocatello, Idaho, was just around when the sister of her friend and the local police department needed someone to blame for McCormack's abortion, which she induced in late 2010 by purchasing RU-486...

Paultards Traumatized By Rand Paul’s Romney Endorsement

Well, tragedy has struck in Ron Paul's kingdom. Rand Paul endorsed Mitt Romney Thursday night on Sean Hannity's show, presumably because he has been promised some high-profile position in Mitt's Barbie and Ken's Dream House™ cabinet. While those pioneering...

Homeowner Teargassed, Shot During Eviction Process, Realtor Finds It Hilarious

When a person is forced to leave his home because, probably, he was unaware that he was being ripped off by Fannie Mae, the authorities sometimes have to take it upon themselves to eradicate said homeowner like so many...

Jeb Bush, Liberated By His Own Irrelevance, Says GOP Is ‘Short-Sighted’

Remember a very long time ago, during a Republican presidential debate last August (oh my god, TIME), when one of those moderator fellows asked the candidates whether they would reject a debt deal that required 10 dollars in spending...

Neo-Nazi Greek Politician Beats On Lady Politician On Live TV (VIDEO)

Well, this is great. During a live television debate on Thursday between a bunch of Greek politicians (its broke citizens go to the broken polls on June 17), Ilias Kasidiaris, a spokesperson for and member of the terrifyingly named...

Robert Mugabe, Beacon Of Hope, Appointed Tourism Ambassador By U.N.

Robert Mugabe, yes, that one, the continued monomaniacal leader and premier "land reformer" of Zimbabwe, has a new job! In addition to the old job! Because he is getting bored with reforming land and "winning" elections and having lots...