Liz Colville
Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.
Mitt Romney: Students Should Get ‘As Much Education As They Can Afford’
Truly shocking, Mitt Romney has moved on from chastising America for copying him to more important things, like the fact that education is expensive for a reason: so that only people who can afford it are permitted to get it. So true! While in Virginia on Friday, Romney said that while America may be “the [...]
Fox News Non-Apologizes For Reporting Individual Mandate Unconstitutional
Fox News tried, it really tried, to make lies true, and to expect something so thoroughly, in the deepest crevasses of its soul, that when hearing the opposite it, it just heard its wish, its dream, namely for the Obamacare individual mandate to be ruled unconstitutional. But it was, oddly, upheld! So now The Worst [...]
Here Is Glenn Beck’s Very Unique 2012 Electoral Map
Well, over on whatever website or smelly airwave Glenn Beck currently resides, Beck and his friends/unpaid interns have decided to make some predictions about the 2012 presidential election upon which the fate of the universe rides. Here is Glenn’s measured and educated guess! Wow, good.
Obama Biographer Accused of ‘Fraud’ for Editing Obama’s ‘Appalling’ Grammar Skills
The truth has come out: Barack Obama is not a genius. We’re sorry, we know you have always thought this to be true. But a very serious man and inadvertent Obama scholar by the name of Jack Cashill has encountered some EGREGIOUS ERRORS (subtle grammatical changes) in letters that were printed in the new Obama [...]
Barack Obama Would Like Anyone With A Gift Registry To Just Give To Him Instead
President Obama, that is his name, has come up with a brilliant new way to try to beat his opponent Mitt Romney at money-making, despite the fact that they seem to have more money than anyone would need to do anything, except maybe buy a Hawaiian island!!!!!! Isn’t it strange that we have to pay [...]
Right Wing News Ends War On Women With Peaceful List of Hottest Conservative Women in Media
The point of women is to stand tall, butt pointing just so (say, eastward), bosom pointing just the opposite so (westward). The point of conservative women in the media is to do this, plus tell conservative men everywhere what they obviously already know, and invented, like that Obama is a Kenyan spy, but which they [...]
Typo Changes Everything We Know About Obama, Despite Being Typo
A 1990 article in a hard-hitting publication called Vanity Fair either accidentally revealed a state secret: Obama spent some years in Singapore, not Indonesia, as a child! OR pooooossibly, but this is not very likely, an uninformed intern wrote an article about Obama and confused the countries of Indonesia (where Obama “spent” some time as [...]
Ex-Senate Candidate Stands His Ground, Shoots Guy Whose Ground It Allegedly Also Was
Hiram Lewis, a lawyer and a failed servant of the American people (he lost the 2006 West Virginia Senate race to Robert Byrd, and also lost two Attorney General elections), has been arrested for shooting a guy who apparently “intruded” upon him in his home. West Virginia has that lovely Castle Doctrine in effect, so [...]
Failed President Sought Companionship Of President
After Obama’s quashing of lapsed aisle-straddler John McCain in 2008, people apparently thought this loser and winner could come together and do great things, as if the election were a tie or something, as if this were post-Blair England and the leadership options were so bad that the options had to band together in a [...]
North Dakota Wants To Get Rid Of Property Taxes Because It Is Mostly Grass Anyway
North Dakota is deciding today whether to eliminate property taxes altogether, which would make it the first state since brilliant Alaska in 1980 to eliminate a major source of funding for things that people actually need, like people who professionally put out fires and an education. Alaska eliminated income taxes, of all things, which probably [...]
Idaho Jails Discover Exciting New Potential Guests: Ladies Who Take RU-486
Jennie Linn McCormack, a single mom from Pocatello, Idaho, was just around when the sister of her friend and the local police department needed someone to blame for McCormack’s abortion, which she induced in late 2010 by purchasing RU-486 over the Internet. The manufacturers and sellers of RU-486 were nowhere to be found, and there [...]
Paultards Traumatized By Rand Paul’s Romney Endorsement
Well, tragedy has struck in Ron Paul’s kingdom. Rand Paul endorsed Mitt Romney Thursday night on Sean Hannity’s show, presumably because he has been promised some high-profile position in Mitt’s Barbie and Ken’s Dream House™ cabinet. While those pioneering philosophers over at the Washington Post seriously ponder “what” Rand Paul’s endorsement “means” (absolute f#*&-all), other, [...]
Homeowner Teargassed, Shot During Eviction Process, Realtor Finds It Hilarious
When a person is forced to leave his home because, probably, he was unaware that he was being ripped off by Fannie Mae, the authorities sometimes have to take it upon themselves to eradicate said homeowner like so many elusive cockroaches. In the case of Bruce O’Rando from St. Ann, Missouri, police decided to tear [...]
Jeb Bush, Liberated By His Own Irrelevance, Says GOP Is ‘Short-Sighted’
Remember a very long time ago, during a Republican presidential debate last August (oh my god, TIME), when one of those moderator fellows asked the candidates whether they would reject a debt deal that required 10 dollars in spending cuts for every dollar in tax increases, and how everyone raised their hand to say that [...]
Neo-Nazi Greek Politician Beats On Lady Politician On Live TV (VIDEO)
Well, this is great. During a live television debate on Thursday between a bunch of Greek politicians (its broke citizens go to the broken polls on June 17), Ilias Kasidiaris, a spokesperson for and member of the terrifyingly named neo-Nazi party Golden Dawn, tossed a glass of water at a lady rival, Rena Dourou of [...]
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