May 20, 2013
The Value Voters Summiteers held a presidential straw poll as part of their weekend activities, and the gold medalist in both the presidential and vice-presidential categories was Indiana Congressman Mike Pence. People were surprised! And not just because the contender pool included Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, and other famous wingnut celebrities, but because who in [...]
The Weekly Standard pamphlet for common-sense Americans has obtained an EXCLUSIVE advanced copy of the paperback version of The Persecution of Sarah Palin by Matthew Continetti, who also just happens to be their personal property. The book, which tells the story of how the media wants Palin to cry all the time, has been endorsed [...]
Your Wonkette has been trying all week long to gain entrance to the Right Nation 2010 sideshow spectacular happening in Chicago this weekend. With a line-up that includes star-studs Glenn Beck, Andrew Breitbart, and Aaron Schock, it is, by far, the most exotic political entertainment situation to occur in “Obama’s back yard” since Rod Blagojevich [...]
Our consumer affairs desk brings you the sad, sad story of Donald Cranfill — a man with a name full of pathos, which is his mama’s fault, and a wallet full of empty, which is his Mama Grizzly’s fault. A truck driver, Cranfill bought a $600 ticket to see the actress Sarah Palin perform her [...]
LIBTARD MEDIA PEOPLE WHAZZZZUP!!!! This very enthusiastic salmon-colored shirt man is “John Villarreal,” a GOP activist/consultant/ready-to-explode kinda type and talk show host for Modesto, California’s KFIV AM. He talks like he is maybe/partly responsible somehow (?) for the sensational primary wins of Sharron Angle, Christine O’Donnell, and other Tea Party luminary-victors. Is he?
Andrew Breitbart’s Big Government blog is trying to get yet another African-American woman in trouble, because black women have controlled America for far too long now. This time the target is DC’s Democratic faux-House representative Eleanor Holmes Norton, of whom Breitbart claims to have “SHOCK AUDIO” in the form of a voice mail message she [...]
American honor-restorer Glenn Beck is so mad about obesity right now, because it costs taxpayers billions of dollars and that is wrong. On his teevee show, he complained about “those fat people that sit on their couch” — you know, the ones whose skin actually “grows into their couch,” until the fire department has to [...]
The statistics whizzes at Public Policy Polling called up almost 600 Ameritards to ask them who was the coolest among these five individuals — Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or Joe Biden. Everyone said, “Joe Biden, cuz he’s rad.” OK, OK, no they didn’t, because Biden is never allowed to win anything.
Some Yakima, Washington-area anti-taxers have stirred up a little controversy for a unique parade float they made in honor of Nachos Naches Sportsman’s Days, one of Real America’s favorite holidays. The float featured a person wearing a Barack Obama mask whipping another fellow dressed up as a “future tax payer” and pulling a wagon full [...]
While GOP U.S. Senate candidate/“Just say NO”-nanist RealChristine O’Donnell was celebrating her primary victory with the Tea Party & Friends, unnamed Republican aides (probably all boys) told Fox News that the Republican National Senatorial Committee won’t be helping her to raise money for her general election campaign. They don’t think she stands a chance against [...]
Calling themselves the “Friends of Tarryl Clark,” some friends of Tarryl Clark — Michele Bachmann election opponent, tax-lover, and all-around socialist — have created an Internet game that mocks Bachmann and her campaign-ad friend Jim in a cruel and unjust manner. These so-called “Friends” accuse Jim of making “misleading and false accusations”! All he ever [...]
OMG you guys: Minnesota patriot-princess Michele Bachmann might be in trubs thanks to her campaign-commercial boyfriend, “Jim the Election Rentboy.” The Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party alleges that Bachmann has violated federal election law by letting Jim (real name: Beau Peregino) condescend for the camera just a bit too long in her latest ad. How could such [...]
While preaching to a crowd of hipster-lads, pastor and part-time Johnny Cash impersonator Jim Garlow explains why nobody in America can find a job. It’s because everyone has been aborted, so there’s no one left to buy any new stuff.
Fashionable American daughters of the revolution, do you covet accessories that will please God and the Invisible Hand? Are your crucifix pendants and American flag pins not enough? Then maybe you should pick up a pair of these beautiful, sterling-silver tea bag dingle-dangle earrings and a matching pin, Made in the USA by the metallurgists [...]
If you want to get a feel for what the 9/12 rallies in Washington, Sacramento, and St. Louis were like, just take your laptop to the nearest Old Country Buffet, flip it open next to the meat bar, and watch this video that the Tea Party Patriots made especially for the trifecta-occasion.
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