Girl, Rand Paul Will Drone You All Night Long
Hey remember way back in March when Rand Paul decided to talk for 13 long hours about why he hated drones? Who could forget! That was the kind of amazing display of singleminded enthusiasm for our civil liberties and Constitutional rights that make Rand Paul et al occasionally useful additions to the Senate. HOWEVER, hopefully [...]
Koch Brothers Buying the Liberal Media Now
Hey, who’s tired of reading actual “information” in the handful of remaining legitimate news outlets quietly dying out in America? Persecuted swamp monsters Charles and David Koch are growing tired of watching their feudalist political philosophies maligned in the media, so they have looked around and said to themselves, “oh shit, let’s just buy the [...]
Texas Fertilizer Plant Explosion Proves Priceless Value Of Freedom
See that? That is a fertilizer plant in Texas exploding and killing a still unknown number of people. It is the sound and sight (and smell, probably) of FREEDOM. FREEDOM from having a sprinkler system, an alarm, a shut off system, or a firewall system.
Patriotic Millionaire Brings Facts To Fox Ideology Fight
What has two thumbs and hates job creators? Fox News’ Stuart Varney, that’s who! Here, let us watch him argue at a Patriotic Millionaire as he patiently tries to explain why taxing millionaires will help fix the deficit.
Why Is Liz Warren Yelling At Bank Regulators Today? (Video)
Liz Warren came to Washington to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and she is ALL OUT OF BUBBLEGUM. Would you like to watch her tear into regulators about wrongful foreclosures? Specifically: why no one knows exactly how many people were wrongfully foreclosed on, and also, why wrongfully foreclosed upon people may have gotten as little [...]
Banks ‘Pleased’ To Be Paying Pittance To Poors Whose Homes They Stole
Remember that elderly disabled veteran that Wells Fargo wrongfully foreclosed on and then billed to death over a typo? Well too bad he dropped dead in court, because he otherwise would have (maybe) been entitled to a cool $300 – $1000 to compensate him for his time and inconvenience. No, really: this is what his [...]
Bobby Jindal’s Plan To Turn Louisiana Into Somalia Nearly Complete
We love a fun fact, so here are a few fun facts to start off your day! First, did you know that Louisiana (as aforementioned) is home to the highest infant mortality rate, the fifth-highest maternal mortality rate, the fourth-worst life expectancy rate, the fifth-highest violent crime rate, the second-highest poverty rate, and the fifth-highest obesity rate in the [...]
Let Reagan’s Budget Director Explain At You About Gold And The Fed And Other Cool Ron Paul Stuff
Isn’t that nice, Reagan’s former budget director David A. Stockman has taken to the New York Times to scold at us about debt and government spending and the fact that the “recovery” is a “bubble.” The good news is that we weren’t actually aware that there had been a recovery, so when the bubble pops [...]
Prepare For Your Newest Reason For Getting Laid Off, America: You Just Got Insourced!
Well, it’s finally happening to non-Poors too: high-income IT workers are now being replaced by Indian workers who will agree to work for less pay and no benefits. Welcome to the future, where the only jobs left will be upper upper management, service, and court jester crap (i.e., Louis C.K., Lady Gaga, Girltalk, etc).
How Are We Beating Up On Teachers Today?
Oh good, we had become very worried about what has appeared to be a brief lull in teacher-bashing but now that everyone is bored with bashing gays and saying ignorant things about buttseks, we can all go back to bashing teachers now, hooray. Anyway, turns out that too many teachers are too good. We know [...]
Do YOU Live in the ‘Least Free’ State in the Country?
Your Wonkette loves a fun fact, so we were thrilled to learn that a new study has revealed the “least free” state in the nation. Who can guess which state has the most FEMA concentration camps per capita? Twenty points and a bag of Bill O’Reilly’s used loofahs to the winner! Let’s first review the [...]
Rich People Do Not Give To Charity, Shocker
We will begin this post by asking you a variation of the thing we always ask you, which is: “does it surprise you that a disproportionate amount of rich people are dicks?” And of course it doesn’t, we’re used to it by now and have more or less adjusted to the new status quo of [...]
Rich Tech Execs Just As Awful As Rich Wall Street Execs, Just In Different Way
Newsflash: instead of becoming an English teacher or an accountant or doing whatever sad thing it is you do, you should have learned MySQL or Javascript and then you could be living it up in Silicon Valley with all the other the tech geeks, partying like it’s 1999 and rolling around in fat stacks, refusing [...]
House Conservatives Offer Up New Budget Full Of Really Great Ideas That Everyone Loves
Oh good, we had grown tired of making fun of Paul Ryan and his “budget,” so it’s nice that the Republican Study Committee (RSC), chaired by Chairman Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA, of COURSE), has released its own budget for us to make fun of. Highlights include: turning Medicare into a voucher system, raising the retirement [...]
Elizabeth Warren Will Give Us All The Moneys Now
Wait. Did you hear that? That was the sound of us fluttering with delight as we watched Elizabeth Warren at the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions hearing while she calmly explained how badly the American people are getting boned. Did you know, for example, that if minimum wage had kept up with [...]
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