Kris E. Benson

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Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

Those of you Wonketeers who work at or have attended a "poorly performing" public school surely know that one does not have to suffer the consequences of poor performance -- consequences that include replacing...

After years of trying to hide his commie pinko inclinations with aggressive free market policies and inclinations towards a deregulatory economic landscape, President Obama is FINALLY letting his socialist freak flag fly--and he's doing...

Today was just like any other day in that we woke up thinking, "Can we love Elizabeth Warren more today than we did yesterday, given that she is one of a tiny handful of...

America is the best country in the world for reasons that we've gone over many times before. Our Vice Presidents shoot people in the face for no reason. We make and deploy sky robots...

"How is John Boehner helping House Republicans ruin the government today, along with my access to health care and possibly my ability to put food on my family?" you might be wondering. The answer is,...

"With No Safety Oversight, Six Flags Will Investigate Roller Coaster Death Itself," says a U.S. News headline that we totally could have written. Does it surprise you to learn that this death trap of...

Your Wonkette comes bearing sad news: Helen Thomas, "White House Crone," died today at age 92 after a long and eventful tour through the halls of the White House. Younger Wonketeers may only know her...

Jimmy Carter, your Wonkette's favorite elder statesman, caused a bit of a kerfuffle with statements made at a closed-door event in Atlanta for an Atlantic Bridge meeting:  "Amerika hat derzeit keine funktionierende Demokratie", sagte Carter...

As we are sure you know, those laboratories of democracy have been very busy lately forcing women to have children against their will. But one Republican state senator from Utah is quite a multi-tasker! Because...

Congress has worse ratings than cockroaches, Genghis Khan, and Nickelback. More than half of Americans think that the country is heading in the wrong direction. Over half of Americans think of Edward Snowden as...

Here is a number that has put District of Columbia Mayor Vincent C. Gray in the unenviable position of deciding who writes legislation for his city -- Wal-mart, or the democratically elected city council: 12.50. See,...

After years of lurking in the shadows of his father's success, Rand Paul has hired a racist, possibly anti-Semitic staffer to wrangle future Rand-tards using the power of the interwebs and help him assemble...

What a tempting offer for our nation's cadre of experienced lawyers: work for the Justice Department, reviewing applications for wiretaps in major federal criminal investigations. Probably this is pretty easy, given (as we've recently...

Good news everyone! Egyptians have (once again) taken to Tahrir square by the millions, and, aided by the military, deposed a sitting president. What is the appropriate reaction here? Is it: a) indifference, because we are...

Would you believe that holding a recruitment drive for the NSA is, well, not so easy these days? Apparently some Americans -- probably just the ones who are not quite desperate enough for gainful...

Did Edward Snowden actually write the statement that appears on the Wikileaks website? Maybe, maybe not, but your Wonkette has accessed the Wikileaks website for you, for the purposes of critical analysis re: said...

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