Kris E. Benson

369 POSTS 4 COMMENTS
Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson
S-M-R-T

Student Loan Debt Leads to Unexpected Immortality

Here is the good news about student loans: they can apparently lead to your eventual immortality. The bad news: they lead to your eventual immortality by haunting your loved ones even after your death. A California couple is speaking out...
greedy minimum wage worker sticking it to the man

Brave Minnesota Job Creator Takes Brave Stand Against Waitresses

Oh good, a brave Job Creator is finally taking a stand against waitresses and also the people who patronize his restaurant by adding a "minimum wage fee" to the bill. Finally someone is dong SOMETHING about greedy servers who...

Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL

Here is a fun fact: when Poors have less money, they spend less money. Also, when you give people money, they spend more money. However, when you punish  poor people by withholding their money to spend on food they have less money to...

Jamie Dimon Gets Well-Deserved Raise

A year after an embarrassing trading blowup led to millions of dollars being docked from Jamie Dimon's paycheck, the chairman and chief executive ofJPMorgan Chase is getting a raise. Of course he is, because share prices have increased and this is the only thing...

Millionaire TARP-Bailout Bankster Would Like Chance To Lose To Jerry Brown

Only a former Goldman-Sachs executive who has never held elected office and supervised the bank bailout under George W. Bush would have the hubris to survey a landscape rife with inequality, a shrinking middle class, and a 21.5% high school drop-out rate and...

Millionaire NYT Columnist David Brooks: Poor People Won’t Be Poor If They Just Act Like Rich People

Good news, Poors! David Brooks has decided to take on the topic of income inequality, and has concluded that 1) income inequality is not actually a problem, and 2) if it were, we shouldn't solve it by giving poor people...

Are You On The NYPD’s List Of ‘Demographic Americans’? Are You Brown? Then Yes!

Fun fact: after 9/11, the NYPD created something called  a "demographics unit," devoted to spending time in South Asian and Middle Eastern neighborhoods in New York, New Haven, and various neighborhoods in New Jersey  under the supervision of a CIA...

Sorry, New Jersey Man, You Forgot To Pay Your Insurance Carrier’s 26 Cents, Please Go Die

Once upon a time, there was a nice man named Sergio Branco who lived in New Jersey with his wife and kids, working for a waste management company called Russell Reid on weekdays and hosting large barbeques for his...

Rick Santorum Does Not Care For Your ‘Marxism Talk’ About ‘The Middle Class,’ Which Does Not Exist

Why is Rick Santorum still talking, and more importantly, why is anyone still interested in hearing him talk, given that he holds no office and everyone wishes he'd go away? Your Wonkette does not have the answer to these...

Justice Department Threatens to Rap Banks on Wrist, Again

Another day, another instance of bank wrongdoing, this is the world we live in! Or rather, this is the world we WOULD live in if banks were capable of engaging in wrongdoing, which of course they are not, duh....

Commies at ‘Business Insider’ Just Cold Destroying Capitalism Now

How wonderful, the last time we checked in with Business Insider they were running articles on how you are not a winner if you want to see your wife and kids every so often, but now they are run...

Illinois Residents Can Sleep Safer Now That Police Have Tased, Beanbagged 95-Year-Old Veteran To Death

Did you feel as though an intangible but perceptible cloud of safety and serenity descended on your community sometime last week? Probably this is because you live in Park Forest, Illinois, where local police successfully tased and beanbagged a...

Your Monday Nice Time: Chris Wallace Yells At Eric Cantor For Failing at Congress

"Why is Congress full of morons, Eric Cantor? Why does it suck so very very hard, Eric Cantor? Why is attempting to repeal Obamacare your go-to solution for just about every pressing problem facing the American people, Eric Cantor?...

Nice Time (With An Asterisk): JP Morgan To Fork Over Some Actual Cash-ish For Enron-ing California

JP Morgan is going to have to pay $410 million dollars for manipulating energy markets in California and Michigan between 2010-2012, and if you're thinking that this sounds an awful lot like what Enron was doing, well, you're right!...

Student Loan Bill Lubes Up At Least Before Screwing Students

Surely you Wonketteers have heard the librul media and members of Congress crowing about the new student loan bill, which is apparently not only a great deal for students but is also significant because it demonstrates that Congress is...

House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff

Hello, have you met the Republican wingnuts on the House Science Committee? They include: Paul Broun, who has told supporters that evolution and the big bang theory "are lies straight from the pit of hell,"  and Dana Rorhabacher, who once suggested that temperature...