Apple’s iTax: Think Different
Corporations are people, my friend — only a very SPECIAL kind of people who are above vulgar affairs like, say, paying taxes, or being held accountable. This is why it’s not illegal for Incorporated Americans to evade avoid taxes, even if they are posting record profits, and also, because making corporations pay taxes is like class [...]
Congress Argues Over Whether Bible Allows Giving Free Food to Poors
Good news for the 15% of Americans who make up the Poors: Our elected representatives have done a close reading of the Constitution the Bible and magnanimously decided that it’s OK to give a few food stamps to poor people so they don’t starve, but not too many. Of course, it was not an open-and-shut [...]
Heritage Action Encourages GOP to Stop Doing Their Jobs
Earlier this week, the Heritage Foundation’s political activist arm, Heritage Action, actually gave some sound advice to GOP congressional leadership: “Don’t legislate,” Heritage Action said. We paraphrase: “Just go on ahead and stir up stupid asinine scandals about nothing, you are way better at that stuff.” And for once, your Wonkette wants to go on [...]
Lupe Fiasco Absolutely Not Bound And Gagged By Management For Tweeting Marxist Stuff
Nothing says “good judgment” like when a celebrity starts a conversation about Marxism on a Twitter feed! This is what skateboard rapper Lupe Fiasco found out last night, as he tried to have an in-depth discussion — 140 characters at a time — about the means of production, the theoretical value of labor, and the [...]
Playing With Your Children Is For Losers, Says Business Insider
Nothing says “winning” like abandoning your loved ones to make money for your corporate overlords, amiright guys? I mean, is the guy in the $6,000 suit going to have a “work-life balance”? COME ON. He is not, because he is a WINNER, because as Business Insider kindly explains at us, work-life balance is for LOSERS (or [...]
Amercia, Where You Are Free to Take On Crushing Lifelong Debt
Wonketteers are all latte-drinking Prius-driving libruls, so they are all probably avid New York Times readers who are very familiar with the Times’ ongoing series on income inequality, “The Great Divide.” But just in case! Today’s installment is a cheery essay by Joseph Stiglitz, titled “Student Debt and the Crushing of the American Dream.” Doesn’t [...]
Niall Ferguson Mansplains Why He Is Sorry About Being Right For Bashing Gays
Last week, Niall Ferguson (an “economic historian” at Harvard) provided a controversial analysis of Keynesian economic policies, arguing that John Maynard Keynes was just too GAY to be a good economist because of something having to do with too much buttseks and no babymaking (no, seriously, this was pretty much exactly what he said.) But [...]
Indiana University Taking Important Steps to Ensure Our Children Is Learning in Diseased Environment
Is our children learning? Sure they are, kind of! Maybe! Well, who knows, it is tough to say! But is our children learning from and around people who have health care coverage and are thus not in danger of infecting them with disease? No, of course not, don’t be silly, this is too much to [...]
Fox News Commentator: Stop Teen Sluttery by Giving Babies Away
Why is Obama forcing your daughter to take the morning after pill? This is an excellent question, and luckily Fox News commentator Nina Easton has given us several compelling theories which we can break down into two broad themes. These are: 1. Obama thinks his daughters are sluts. 2. Obama thinks other people’s daughters are [...]
Texas Fertilizer Plant Continues to Express its Freedom
Remember when a Texas fertilizer plant exploded and showered its Freedom all over the town of West, Texas, teaching everyone a much-needed lesson on the uselessness of state regulations? Well the lesson is not over yet, because it turns out that the plant only had $1,000,000 in liability coverage and caused over $100,000,000 in damages.From [...]
Wisconsin Considers Forbidding Poors From Buying Cheese
Hey, which state hates Poors the most? If you guessed Florida, we’d understand your instincts, but you’d be wrong (today anyway) because Wisconsin is going to prohibit Poors from buying several types of cheese. Yes, cheese. Not “cheez” or “cheez füd” but “cheese,” as in Swiss, Cheddar, and low sodium. (No word yet on cedar [...]
Bright Side! Climate Change Death Spiral Will Bring Cheaper Gas, Jobs!
We are basically in an imminent death-spiral, says a new report that will probably be ignored: Senior US government officials are to be briefed at the White House this week on the danger of an ice-free Arctic in the summer within two years. Worried? Don’t be! First of all, this will mostly affect Poors and women, and [...]
Again Thomas Friedman Writes Same Column Again
Good news, everyone! Thomas Friedman has decided to write at us again about “hyperconnectivity,” and how it will be wonderful for those of us who can dream big and work hard, isn’t that great? So great! From the New York Times: Something really big happened in the world’s wiring in the last decade, but it [...]
Famous Austerity Economists: Just Because Our Data Is No Longer Operative Doesn’t Mean We Were Wrong
Oh look, Reinhart and Rogoff have taken to the pages of the New York Times to explain why the fact that they were totally wrong with all their data about HIGH DEFICIT DOOOOOM does not actually mean that they were wrong about HIGH DEFICIT DOOOOOM. Reinhart and Rogoff, in case you are wondering, are two [...]
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