Ken Layne

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

Santorumemtum! Weird Rick Wins Missouri, Minnesota & Colorado!

Uhh, wasn't this supposed to be wrapped up by now? No. Not when all your candidates are so terrible. Rick Santorum is back in the race, in other words. He won Missouri! That's ... let's see, 55% for Santorum,...

Romney Actually Did Worse In 2012 Nevada Caucus Than He Did In 2008

Here's some more awkward humor from the robot comedy that is Mitt Romney's 2012 ascent to the GOP nomination: Mittens actually did worse on Saturday in the Nevada GOP caucus than he did back in 2008. This time around,...

Romney Wins Super Bowl of Nevada GOP 2012 Politics, Again

There was another caucus, apparently! The reason nobody noticed is because it was in Nevada, which is actually home to lots of Republican-voting Mormons. (Take out the corporate prostitution resort of Las Vegas in the southern corner of the...

Everybody Please Prepare To Have Jim Newell Back At Wonkette, Next Week

HOORAY! That is what your semi-managing editor has to say about this important news, from your beloved past-and-future Wonkette typing monster of Capitol Hill, Jim Newell: An Important Announcement Regarding Your Gawker Political Desk: Goodbye Tuesday greetings from the Gawker Political Desk!...

Canada (Two Teenagers + Lego Man) Takes Over American Space Program

Things have not been going so well for America's space program. We had a sad when we read about how the Obama Administration basically told Barack he could not have any exciting or inspirational "moon shot" programs, because everything...

States and Unions: Why Have Either? Liveblogging the SOTU, Part Deux

Oh hi, how is the State of the Union? Sounds pretty gassy so far, what with the drilling for natural gas in every national park, and the drilling for more Blackwater spills on every U.S. coast, and shale oil...

Rand Paul Robot Caught By Brave TSA Body Scanner

Top honors will be given to a brave TSA Body Scanner machine at the Nashville airport for apprehending a sinister Dalek robot-monster that was impersonating Senator Rand Paul. The cylon version of Rand Paul triggered the radioactive Body Scanner...

Newtmania! Gingrich Wins South Carolina, Will Lose 80%-20% To Obama

That was faster than dumping an ex-wife in the cancer ward! Whining jewelry piglet and serial divorcing sac of ethics violations Newt Gingrich has just been projected as the Big Wiener of the South Carolina confederate primary. Should we...

Tensions Low At Fake ‘Ham House’ Feud Between Romney, Gingrich

Trouble was unfortunately not at all apparent early Saturday at a non-chain breakfast diner where national media could pick up some "local color" on a day when followers of political news are interested in reading new developments, but there...

Homeless Child Spared Usual Fate of Homeless Children Due To Rare Intellectual Gifts

Here is an "inspirational story" to make everybody happier about homelessness, etc.: A 17-year-old girl has been saved from homelessness, and a celebrity has given her poor family a home, all because the 17-year-old girl is an immensely gifted...

Protests Work! Cornyn & Rubio Drop SOPA, Obama Rejects Keystone

Here's a little good news to cheer up your Wednesday: Today's anti-censorship protest across the Internet has already forced Republican senators Marco Rubio and John Cornyn to drop their support of the SOPA bill. Already! Rubio and Cornyn weren't...

Unloved Moderate Mormon Millionaire Dropping Out of GOP Race

Citing widespread evidence that Republicans don't love him because he would basically govern like Barack Obama, an unloved moderate Mormon millionaire will drop out of the Republican presidential contest today. Despite many endorsements, lots of money, a handsome appearance...

New York Times Wondering Whether It Should Tell the Truth About Anything

Lie-plagued yuppie lifestyle app The New York Times has a big problem. On the one hand, it wants to have lots of link-bait articles full of lies -- anything a politician says, "yoga will kill you," etc. On the...

U.S. Soldiers Changing Hearts & Minds By Urinating On Dead Muslims

Everybody supporting the troops a lot? Here they are "finishing the job," with the primary job being "killing Muslims everywhere" and the finish being "ritually urinating on the bloodied bodies." Afghanistan, the war that keeps on giving! These soldiers...

Thanks For Ruining Our Weekend, GOP! Liveblogging Debate #666

Ready to ruin your Saturday night? Then please join us, as we liveblog the New Hampshire ABC News secret-handjob 2012 debate. Let's hurt together, the way Santorum would want Jesus to hurt us, should we accidentally have the buttsex....

Obama Installs Consumer Chief, Officially Makes Citizens ‘Consumers’

Citing a pressing need to legally redefine Americans as "consumers" before they get any other big ideas, President Obama today appointed his choice to lead the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. The appointment bypassed the Senate, because the Republican...