Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but the rest of the time they have to stay in their tents, in the endless acid rain, for Jesus. [Plunderbund]

OH HELL YEAH DO THIS THING: It’s the last day of something or other with the Warblog Awards! Details here, from warblog Commenter Gen. Chascates. Thank you, everyone, for your many patriotic votes! [2009 Weblog Awards and these categories too, also]

Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople elitist Democrats and their drunken wives and rent boys adult children wreak havoc on the icy semen-slick suburban gentrified urban streets.” MORE »

It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs are going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople and their drunken wives and rent boys wreak havoc on the icy suburban streets. Congratulations to Charlene Lugar, wife of Republican Senator Dick Lugar, for winning the “First of the Season” award by just crashing into a parked car, because she was (allegedly!) drunk. MORE »

God, this guy … with the bowing, again. What little fascist-communist dictator is Obama kowtowing to this time? We don’t know, some child despot, maybe the Sultan of Cuba or the African Queen. No wonder Fox News has to name all the pictures of Barack “monster.jpg.” And that stench? Oh, that’s just the smell of the constitution burning. [Flickr]

Oh hey look it’s the new Thanksgiving video from song-and-dance entertainer Bob Dylan. Can you find the secret list of presidents in this holiday polka? And why does Santa/Dylan leave out our two greatest presidents, Barack Obama and George W. Bush Junior? [YouTube]

[A new annual Wonkette tradition starts today, to honor Columbus Day: re-posting this thing Editor Ken Layne wrote last year about history's greatest American, Christopher Columbus. It is the definitive historical account. You can read all of your comments from last year, and then make new comments! -- Ed. Jim]

Christopher Columbus, which means “Our Lord’s Anus” in Portuguese, was a famous wingnut racist who didn’t even know where he came from, but he was hired by a shadowy cabal of Spaniards and the Knights Templar to find an easier route to the emerging economies of Communist China, because the Islamo-Fascists had blown up the highway to Afghanistan! MORE »

HEY, CINDY McCAIN, LET’S MEET ON THE BEACH & TAKE PILLS TOGETHER: Your editor will soon kiss the Mexican Border for good luck (and magic Swine Flu immunity) and begin walking 1,200 miles up the coast of California, for art. MORE »

Hey have you heard about the important something-or-other, on teevee, when the one hip-hop fellow Mr. Kanye West said something about the hip-hop lady? SCANDAL! Well Barack Obama hates all this dumb misogynistic consumer-good-worshiping dumb shit. [YouTube]

HILARITY: Would-be teabaggers and and other easily duped dingbats are proudly emailing each other wonderful pictures of a million teabaggers crowding the National Mall, but these pictures are actually from the Million Man March of 1997, an event attended by, ahem, colored people. MORE »

Oh boy we forgot today was the big September 11th Teabagger Festival, on September 12. It was probably wonderful. Look how this lady smiles, with her sign, about how Africans should not be anywhere near the White House. God Bless America, or at least the old white portion. [NineTwelvePhotos]