Congratulations, Wonkette, your relationship with the Internet has lasted longer than the average American marriage. It is hard to believe you have managed to stay together all these years given the quantity of insults, childish behavior and emotional abuse you have hurled at each other, but this is simply proof of the Bible’s number one […]

Well, Newt Gingrich has at last achieved his lifelong goal of conquering the void of empty space. Just look at him out there, the brave emperor of a vast, dark and lonely realm surrounded by his only true companions, some insane person in a scary-looking costume and an elephant. We just knew you could do […]

The spring season of political sex scandals, like the presidential campaigns, like the bland and uninspired bickering of Congress, like the campaign ads’ lack of demon sheep, masturbating witches and Basil Marceaux, are so boring that we are sharing this tale of a dim Oregon GOP lawmaker who had consensual, heterosexual sex with his staffer: […]

Top Arizona horse’s ass Russell Pearce, the former state Senator known for his awkward testicle jokes and his authorship of the state’s anti-immigration law that codified higher levels of skin pigmentation as a form of suspicious behavior, was rejected by two Mexican restaurants in Phoenix upon trying to hold a fundraiser at each to help […]

The Senate Banking Committee ordered Wall Street fuck-up and J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon to testify Wednesday on how his bank managed to turn over $2 billion into poop and whether this latest round of derivative market gambles equivalent to staking money on Peggy Noonan’s sobriety should, in fact, necessitate a few moderate regulations […]

Illinois crazytime state lawmaker update alert newsbreak: GOP state Senator Suzi Schmidt, the curiously thrilled human pictured at left, was arrested for, uh, “damaging” an animal feed bag belonging to the neighbors and was later served with an “emergency stalking no contact order.” This is the same Suzi Schmidt who last year preemptively phoned 911 […]

Mitt Romney has apparently observed that many Americans seem to feel they are not getting their money’s worth out of the highest branches of government. This might be an apt time for a lesson in democracy, a time to reassess the wisdom of electing intransigent nuts to fill jobs that by definition require an ability […]

Here is excitable-looking Arizona nitwit congressional candidate “Ron Gould” runnin’ around with his flat-top ‘do and his murder weapons and his pack o’ hounds before he takes a quick break from huntin’ Mexicans in the desert to pump buckshot into “government-run health care,” meaning the federal health care reform law requiring citizens to purchase private […]

This is your Monday Fun Post picture of famous nut Michele Bachmann dressed in some kind of furry costume whilst campaigning for reelection in Hugo, Minnesota this weekend. That’s nice. Is this because Michele Bachmann loves pork barrel spending on the pork industry, in her home state? So meta! Or maybe she is simply having […]

As foretold in Revelation, Lord of Lunatics Rick Santorum has warned that he is fortifying his followers for some kind of world-ending battle to fend off the interloping Paultard hordes at the Republican National Convention in Florida, in August. It will be sweaty. “I’m concerned that Ron Paul and some of his supporters out there […]

Florida swamp monster Terry Jones needs money. Or he has run out of sedatives. Or, and we’re going to say this is the most likely one, he is feeling a little hard up these days, because he’s about to get a complimentary body cavity exam from the Secret Service: He put some kind of racist […]

Your mostly lazy editor had vowed to challenge herself when typing nonsense posts about Mitt Romney, to not go for the perpetually obvious Mittens-qua-robot theme as a matter of trying to avoid worn-out tropes, but… we give up here. This man cannot identify a doughnut. He looks at a plate of them for several seconds, […]

Colorado GOP Representative Doug Lamborn, the nefarious numbskull briefly mocked in the national news last year for managing to slip the words “tar baby” into a whine about the black president, would not care to apologize to an award-winning coal-mining activist whose attempt to testify to the House Natural Resources Committee about the pollution caused […]

The National Republican Congressional Committee has helpfully parked a camera right above a printer in its office that it has dedicated to churning out constant filth for your amusement. Here is the tumblr where you can go fill out your very own “online petition to repeal the health care law” or whatever and watch your […]

If you got together a big private party full of Shell Oil Company VIPs in a posh location like the Seattle Space Needle to celebrate the impending start to their new Arctic drilling project off the coast of Alaska, and they decided to mark the occasion by building a scale replica of the real life […]