Kirsten Boyd Johnson

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An Interview With Kirsten Boyd Johnson By Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Congratulations, Wonkette, your relationship with the Internet has lasted longer than the average American marriage. It is hard to believe you have managed to stay together all these years given the quantity of insults, childish behavior and emotional abuse...

Here Is Photo Proof That Newt Gingrich Is Finally President of Space

Well, Newt Gingrich has at last achieved his lifelong goal of conquering the void of empty space. Just look at him out there, the brave emperor of a vast, dark and lonely realm surrounded by his only true companions,...

Alleged Sex Creep in Peter Pan Hat Is Prominent Oregon GOP Politican, Of Course

The spring season of political sex scandals, like the presidential campaigns, like the bland and uninspired bickering of Congress, like the campaign ads' lack of demon sheep, masturbating witches and Basil Marceaux, are so boring that we are sharing...

Ha Ha, Leading Arizona Mexican-Hater Wingnut Kicked Out of Mexican Eateries

Top Arizona horse's ass Russell Pearce, the former state Senator known for his awkward testicle jokes and his authorship of the state's anti-immigration law that codified higher levels of skin pigmentation as a form of suspicious behavior, was rejected...

Senate Banking Committee Treats JP Morgan Chief Jamie Dimon to Luxury Tongue Bath

The Senate Banking Committee ordered Wall Street fuck-up and J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon to testify Wednesday on how his bank managed to turn over $2 billion into poop and whether this latest round of derivative market gambles...

Illinois GOP Lawmaker Arrested in Animal Feed Bag-Related Incident

Illinois crazytime state lawmaker update alert newsbreak: GOP state Senator Suzi Schmidt, the curiously thrilled human pictured at left, was arrested for, uh, "damaging" an animal feed bag belonging to the neighbors and was later served with an "emergency...

Mitt Romney Would Now Like to Discuss Presidential ‘Incentives’ at This Stage in Hiring Process

Mitt Romney has apparently observed that many Americans seem to feel they are not getting their money's worth out of the highest branches of government. This might be an apt time for a lesson in democracy, a time to...

Arizona Guy Loves Guns So Much You Must Elect Him to Congress Now

Here is excitable-looking Arizona nitwit congressional candidate "Ron Gould" runnin' around with his flat-top 'do and his murder weapons and his pack o' hounds before he takes a quick break from huntin' Mexicans in the desert to pump buckshot...

And Here Is a Photo of Michele Bachmann Disguised As a Pig

This is your Monday Fun Post picture of famous nut Michele Bachmann dressed in some kind of furry costume whilst campaigning for reelection in Hugo, Minnesota this weekend. That's nice. Is this because Michele Bachmann loves pork barrel spending...

Rick Santorum Vows Epic GOP Convention War on Usurping Paultards

As foretold in Revelation, Lord of Lunatics Rick Santorum has warned that he is fortifying his followers for some kind of world-ending battle to fend off the interloping Paultard hordes at the Republican National Convention in Florida, in August....

Hillbilly Koran-Burning Pastor Does New Insane Thing For Attention

Florida swamp monster Terry Jones needs money. Or he has run out of sedatives. Or, and we're going to say this is the most likely one, he is feeling a little hard up these days, because he's about...

Doughnut Identification Glitch Detected in Mitt Romney Software

Your mostly lazy editor had vowed to challenge herself when typing nonsense posts about Mitt Romney, to not go for the perpetually obvious Mittens-qua-robot theme as a matter of trying to avoid worn-out tropes, but... we give up here....

GOP Rep. Warns Activist to ‘Consider’ Before Trying to Educate Congress Again

Colorado GOP Representative Doug Lamborn, the nefarious numbskull briefly mocked in the national news last year for managing to slip the words "tar baby" into a whine about the black president, would not care to apologize to an award-winning...

Everyone Must Spam GOP’s Anti-Healthcare Reform Livestream Thing Immediately

The National Republican Congressional Committee has helpfully parked a camera right above a printer in its office that it has dedicated to churning out constant filth for your amusement. Here is the tumblr where you can go fill out...

Shell Celebrates New Arctic Drilling With Malfunctioning Oil Rig-Themed Party (UPDATE: SUPER FAKE)

If you got together a big private party full of Shell Oil Company VIPs in a posh location like the Seattle Space Needle to celebrate the impending start to their new Arctic drilling project off the coast of Alaska,...

Mitt Romney Is Southern California’s One-Man Narc Squad

Country club gossip bulletin the New York Times has finally done the important journalistic work of sending a reporter down to southern California to lurk around the driveway of Mitt Romney's beachfront La Jolla mansion and quiz the neighbors...