Kirsten Boyd Johnson
There are only two things that GOP state politicians in Arizona are allowed to discuss and/or think about: Hunting Mexicans on the one hand, and Another Dude’s Genitals, on the other. If Paul Babeu wasn’t enough to support this theory, former Arizona State Senator Russell Pearce — the crazed wingnut responsible for the state’s anti-brown [...]
Remember a few decades ago when conservative parents used to keep themselves awake at night worrying about the music of Judas Priest or Kiss shooting mind control rays full of Satanism into their children’s brains? Those would be today’s “center-left” voters. To be a true conservative American Jesus warrior these days, you must move past [...]
Favored pick “Iran” won this season’s Gallup poll for “America’s Top Enemy” by its highest-ever margin, wow! A full third of Americans picked Iran as their most dreaded bogeyman this year (up from a quarter last year) for, eh, some sort of reason. Perhaps a follow-up “why” question might have been interesting or informative here, [...]
Republican voters have had an entire year now give or take to make up their minds about who they want as their candidate for president, yet they continue to gnash their teeth and weep blood a year later like some game show contestant given two minutes to stare at a row of identical boxes and [...]
All Big Issues must necessarily have at least two sides, it’s in the Bible, et cetera. Okay, now then, who wants to take the “pro” side on child hunger? Anyone? Anyone? Oh good, we just spotted a hand shooting up in the back. Why it’s a Tennessee Republican, about to wave his arm free of [...]
This ancient billionaire coot with the game show host grin is Foster Friess, the big bucks behind some Rick Santorum Super PAC, and he would like to tell you that America is far too obsessed with the fictional problem of reproductive health and not nearly concerned enough with the very real and urgent problem of [...]
Are you an erstwhile Satanist who is so deeply and irredeemably lame that you managed to get kicked out of Metallica? That would make you Dave Mustaine, the used-up nuthatch in charge of forgotten heavy metal outfit Megadeth. He has heard of Rick Santorum, finally! Which is reason enough to endorse him, apparently: “Earlier in [...]
What is wrong with Barack Obama campaign manager Jim Messina, that he thinks Latinos are all about chimichangas? Latinos are all about TACOS, you moron. How racially insensitive can this guy possibly be? Let’s check Messina’s original comment for further outrage!
OOOH looks like Chuck Grassley has a little competish on the Twitters today in the illiterate Republican lawmaker category! South Carolina Rep. Thad Viers is going to get every straight dude in America laid on Valentine’s Day, with his foolproof list of tips. Pay close attention! Thad is living proof of his romantic wisdom — [...]
Oh good, the Family Values club of GOP politicians can finally add another tally mark to the heterosexual column on their crowded “hookers ‘n coke scandal” scorecard! It’s a lonely column, that one. What a marvelous lede Cincinnati.com has: “Bible toting Clermont County politician Archie Wilson surfaced from drug treatment Tuesday to answer charges he [...]
Oh look, here is an unusual sequence of words that is popping up on the newswires: “Republican leaders in the House of Representatives on Monday dropped their demand for spending reductions to pay for extending a tax cut for 160 million American workers, setting up a likely breakthrough for agreement with Democrats.” Interesting. Is this [...]
Vainglorious turd blossom Newt Gingrich is running out of wealthy dupes to write him checks allowing him to prolong his hilariously doomed book-tour candidacy, so he is out with a tragic new campaign ad, which as one can see from the screen grab mostly features Newt begging for treats like a dazed zoo seal performing [...]
Here you go, dear readers, here is a little Friday warm up for whatever other terrible decisions you have planned for the weekend: watch this video of some Fox News dildo and his sidekick as they flop around in fruity wigs and rain down the musical equivalent of ten million anesthesia-free lobotomies on a delighted [...]
Most people, when they imagine combat troops fighting in a war, picture gunfire and helicopters and blood and death. Rick Santorum, on the other hand, pictures sort of a dusty night club lit by the odd intermittent explosion where you know what happens when you leave the boys and girls alone in there too long [...]
What the hell is this? It is the video promo for Sarah Palin’s CPAC keynote on Saturday, guessing from the killer alien Nazis from space come to destroy humanity, as punishment. Oh hey now, isn’t the invasion of a secret troupe of moon Hitlers supposed to be Mitt Romney’s special fever dream?
