Have you heard about how the liberal gay mafia fascists who hate diversity lynch mobbed that sweet nice man, Brendan Eich, who was CEO of Mozilla until he was killed by the evil gay agenda? Of course you have, because whiners gonna whine, and oh dear lord, they cannot stop whining about how unfair and […]

Great news, everyone! Brad Pitt wants to make a movie about the awful terrible no good very bad ordeal frequently referred to as the Steubenville rape. (Can it please be starring Brad Pitt? Please? We hope so because mmmmmmm, Brad Pitt.) This seems like a really great idea, because there are not a lot of […]

George W. Bush can fuck himself. That sentiment doesn’t really need context, does it? Pick your reason. There are many. So many. A million kinds of many. But today, we have a new reason to add to the endless list of why George W. Bush can fuck himself. He slammed Guccifer, the hacker who intercepted […]

So here is a funny thing. And not an April Fools haha-just-kidding-PSYCH!-YA BURNT! unfunny funny thing, but an actual hilarious-on-any-day-of-the-year funny thing. You know that arts and crafts store, Hobby Lobby, created in God’s image to provide bored housewives with all their scrapbooking and needlepointing needs at made-in-China bargain basement prices? Of course you do, […]

In case you missed it because you were taking your bubbe to shul, Republicans gathered in Las Vegas on Saturday to beg Republican Jews — all two and a half of them — to give them Jew dollars for their 2016 presidential aspirations. This is a thing Republicans do sometimes because even though American Jews […]

It is an election year, and if you have an appetite for wingnut stupid, you’re in luck, because the Republican Party offers an all-you-can-eat buffet. If you like your stupid Southern style, you are in extra special luck because it is super-sized in Georgia’s Republican primary Senate race. These folks have some big shoes to […]

There is no problem that cannot be solved by more war. Sure, that may sound kind of dumb to you, but you are not Bill Kristol, the spittle-filled sack of stupid who has never been right about a thing ever in his entire lifetime. You think that’s hyperbole? It took him until 2013 to figure […]

At the risk of sounding like some hysterical radical Marxist unshaven feminazi who’s about to burn her bras and eat all the men with a nice chianti, fuck this guy and all his special Army stars. The legal defense team for a general whose sex-crime trial has gripped the U.S. military said Sunday that the […]

Women are strange creatures, aren’t they? With their shoes and their vaginas and their not being men, they are quite the mystery. Like magnets. And how the tide goes in, the tide goes out. If only there were someone, a real expert, to explain how do ladies work and how should we treat them, since […]

Obamacare, man. Isn’t it so the worst? Hardly a day goes by that Republicans, and their katrillionaire backers like the Koch brothers, aren’t telling us the American horror stories of people who had golden balls insurance until that sumbitch Obama did socialism to them with his government health care — just like Hitler! — and […]

If it’s a day that ends in “y,” (and it is, we checked the Google), then it’s a safe bet that someone somewhere is trying to shove their limited-government legislation right up your vagina to protect you from yourself. For “life” and “freedom” and “babies” and “safety” and “stuff.” This is not news; in fact, […]

Once upon a time, Republicans looooooooved the Tea Party. No, it’s true. The Tea Party was this great “independent” uprising of really Republican Republicans who were SO mad that they’d been Taxed Enough Already (translation: super pissed there was a black guy squatting in the White House), and Republicans would ride the wave of tinfoil-hatted […]

Oh Texas. Oh police. Oh Jesus H. Jaywalking Christ. Last week, we learned of the detainment of America’s most wanted criminal: a lady in Austin, Texas, who committed the terrible should-be-punishable-by-death offense of jaywalking, and then refused to provide her ID on account of not having her ID with her at the time. Naturally, the […]

Since it’s been [checks watch] at least four seconds since some dimwitted dimwit offered us single ladies some unsolicited advice on how to not be single ladies and why it’s all our fault and how we are TERRIBLE THE WORST for being single, the Wall Street Journal (of course) brings us these words of derpdom […]

Somehow, it’s hard to focus on sportsball’s magnificent athleticism when it seems like there are always stories about athletes doing murder — ALLEGEDLY — and raping women across America — ALLEGEDLY — and domestic violencing the ladies and all manner of breakin’ the law. All of that somehow gets a pass because SPORTSBALL, while Richard […]