Kaili Joy Gray

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Kaili is executive editor of Wonkette. She rants, she snarks, she makes feminism fun.

Black Chick Doesn’t Want To Tell Black Folks How Great GOP Is Anymore, For Some Reason

Remember how the GOP autopsied itself after 2012 down at the plantation (the actual plantation) and discovered it is a racist, sexist, everythingphobic piece of crap party, and that's why it lost the White House to the secret Kenyanesian Muslim...
You're cool with this now, right?

Utah Figures Abortions Too Safe And Easy For Ladies, Fixes That For Them

Utah seems like a terrible place. Oh, must we elaborate on that? Fine. Utah seems like a terrible place if you are a woman who has the misfortune of wanting to exercise your constitutional right to have a medical...
Not nearly as stupid as everything he says

Ladies Named Cruz Think Ted Cruz Awesome For Ladies

When you think Ted Cruz, you think "feminist hero." OK, well, maybe first you think "punchy face." Then you think "Isn't he from Canada?" Then you think "Everyone hates him, LOL." Then you think about that time he scoffed at Jew...
Listen up, you Messico losers!

Donald Trump Will Bomb Sh*t Out Of Ladies Who Have Abortions, Murder Their Families

Uh oh. Donald Trump accidentally said a true thing about illegal abortions. Wait, what the what? Donald Trump sparked a firestorm on Wednesday after saying that women should be punished for getting illegal abortions. “There has to be some form of...
At least he spells good

New Poll Shows Americans Are Total Idiots, Part Zillionteen

It's always fun slash super depressing to check in on what U.S. Americans "think" about "stuff." Sometimes they have good thoughts -- like that Republicans are petty petulant obstructionist swizzle dicks who should do their damned goddamned jobs. Good for...

Ted Cruz Thinks The Rest Of You Should Shut Up About Jesus

Humble man of the Canadian-Texanese people Ted Cruz is a proud Christian. You know, the kind of Christian who thinks the pope is a goddamned idiot when it comes to whether Jesus is just all right with the death...
This would fix everything

Shame If Someone Had To Shoot SCOTUS Nominee To Teach Him About Second Amendment

In case you were wondering if we have reached peak foaming-at-the-mouth outrage yet over President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, hahaha, aren't you adorable? We have, however, reached the part of our civilized national debate where Very Concerned Citizens casually...
Actual picture of Gov. Brownback

Indiana Protects Unborned Babies From Their Racist Sexist Mommies

Indiana ladies, have you been feeling neglected and unloved? You see governors and legislatures putting the screws to your sisters in other states, and you probably wonder where the heck is your edible fruit basket of legislative love, don't...

Surprise! Huggy Cuddlebear John Kasich Actually Giant Jerkface

We keep telling you Ohio Gov. John "Look at me, I'm so moderate!" Kasich is a terrible rotten standard-issue rightwing extremist Republican butthead. But do you ever listen to us? Sigh. No, you get suckered in by his inside...
NOPE!

Even Ted Cruz ‘Supporters’ Think He Sucks

It's possible we are enjoying ourselves entirely too much as we watch the Republican Party eat itself alive, choke on its own bone, vomit up undigested chunks of itself, and slip-n-fall in its own sick. The orgasmic pleasure we derive is probably...

If Obama Really Loved America, He’d Be Screwing Callista Gingrich

We don't know why we are still stuck with disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich's doughy fake-tanned face on our TVs all the time. He hasn't had a real job -- if you can even call being a congressman...

North Carolina Republicans Pass Bill Telling Transgaysexuals To Eff Right Off

We have good news and bad news. Let's start with the bad news. (Shut up, that's how we do.) The super craptastic bill for which the North Carolina legislature held a special session, at an additional cost to taxpayers of $42,000...

Florida Men Tell Ladies To Get Their Hoo-Has Checked At The Dentist

Well, isn't this a neat new trend that's spreading like herpes in a frat house at a state school, only not nearly as fun? A bill passed in the Florida legislature this week would effectively defund Planned Parenthood and other reproductive...

North Carolina Drops $42K To Make Sure You Go Potty The Right Way

North Carolina is having A Emergency right now. What's the 411 on the 911? It's so bad, you're going to want to start getting your thoughts 'n' prayers ready to send ASAP: North Carolina lawmakers return to work in a...

Ted Cruz Had One Good Night, Will Never Shut Up Now

Ted Cruz finally managed to score a big win in Utah on Tuesday night. Yee haw for him, however you say that in Canadian-Cubanese. Dang near every Mormon and all their sister-wives turned out to cast their vote against Donald Trump, just...
there's that appleheaded vagina mouth we love so much

Donald Trump Doing Terrific With Dudes Who Cheated On Their Wives

Sure, it's one thing to win the approval of neo-Nazis, the former grand imperial poobah of the KKK, and Scott Baio. But Donald Trump is also making inroads with Very Serious Republicans who are Very Serious about family values -- when...