Author Archives: Juli Weiner

Full Name: Juli Weiner Website:
Info: Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.
  plates of hate

The National Prayer Breakfast Is Especially Homophobic And Murderous This Year

Everyone hates Barack Obama extra much today for speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast, which is racist against gays. Basically every President since Hillary Clinton has attended this thing, but Obama is in trouble because some of the hosts of this year’s breakfast—obviously a group with the word “Family” in the name—want to… guess what horrendous thing… quickly… time’s up! The answer is “execute all the homosexuals in Uganda. ” Read more on The National Prayer Breakfast Is Especially Homophobic And Murderous This Year…
  unfocused stereotypes

This Greek Senate Candidate Is So Morally Bankrupt He’s Basically An Italian

Alexi Giannoulias is a Democrat running for Senate in Illinois. Here is the National Republican Senatorial Committee’s anti-Alexi Giannoulias attack ad that is basically season two of the Wire (the Greeks, not the Poles or the blacks) plus the Sopranos finale, minus Journey, divided by Rod Blagojevich. [Ben Smith] Read more on This Greek Senate Candidate Is So Morally Bankrupt He’s Basically An Italian…
  daily briefing

In Just A Few Hours, Scott Brown Will Be Crowned America’s Most Beloved Kennedy

Let’s all play this game in which we try to guess Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein’s bonus. Won’t be depressing at all. [New York Times] Toyota recalled many Priuses (Prii?) because of brake problems. Although, if a car crashes and ceases to exist, can you even imagine how that will like erase its carbon footprint? [Washington Post] Read more on In Just A Few Hours, Scott Brown Will Be Crowned America’s Most Beloved Kennedy…
  lateral moves

One POLITICO Blog Gets Murdered And Is Reincarnated As Another POLITICO Blog

Everyone very respectfully say “cya bye” to “Scorecard,” one of the POLITICO’s many manifestations that sound like they might have to do with a sex thing, but tragically do not. And as POLITICO is incapable of writing about events that it cannot force into the narrative of a campaign, “Scorecard” has already been replaced by the nearly identical “POLITICO 2010” blog. Sad, maybe. [Scorecard] Read more on One POLITICO Blog Gets Murdered And Is Reincarnated As Another POLITICO Blog…
  unemployed people fucking around on the internet

Sarah Palin Decides That Rahm Emanuel Hates Trig The Most Today

Autocratic mayor of Facebook Sarah Palin needs a new feud, because no one has paid her any attention in like a week. And luckily for Palin, it seems her Google Alert for “Rahm Emanuel retarded” is solid fucking gold today, as she has declared war with Emanuel for referring to attempts to pressure Senate centrists “fucking retarded,” which is an Alaskan-language slur that can be loosely translated as “cynical play-acting.” F’reals: “Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it’s heartbreaking.” Trig wept. Read more on Sarah Palin Decides That Rahm Emanuel Hates Trig The Most Today…
  wonkette foreign desk

Obama Offended Europeans Of All People, By Refusing To Go To Their Stupid Europe

Barack Obama is snubbing the European continent of Europe by declining to attend a US-EU summit in Europe’s Madrid. The Spanish Prime Minister spent all last night telling Obama how much he hated him, likely in Spanish: “The Spanish prime minister, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero […] was described as angry and embarrassed, and European officials said there was a set of high-level diplomatic exchanges overnight.” Obama did not respond to any of Zapatero’s probable upside-down exclamation mark-laden text messages, because he’s like, I never said I was doing a semester abroad. Drama! Read more on Obama Offended Europeans Of All People, By Refusing To Go To Their Stupid Europe…
  daily briefing

Thank You, NYT, For Taking ‘The Revolution Will Be Televised’ Lede Away From The Rest Of The Internet

The Tea Party Convention thing in Nashville will be broadcast on teevee, for a reason that apparently exists. [New York Times] Abstinence-only education works after all, which means the government will probably deploy a slightly re-worked “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (Anything)” policy in our nation’s middle schools. [Washington Post] Read more on Thank You, NYT, For Taking ‘The Revolution Will Be Televised’ Lede Away From The Rest Of The Internet…
  a rhetorical nipple slip

Fox News Thing Major Garrett Gave Whore Recommendations, Via Twitter, During State Of The Union

Last night, during the State of the Union, Fox News’ Major Garrett accidentally showed his support for a Las Vegas-based consortium of whores via Twitter. See, he Tweeted: “To overcome the numbing weight of our politics” and other Obama SOTU excerpts http://bit.ly/d6W Wed 27 Jan 18:22.” Except this URL does not redirect to whatever inane thing he had open in the tab next to the whores thing! The link opened to the whores themselves, one half of whom is pictured above, picking a wedgie like a gross person. Read more on Fox News Thing Major Garrett Gave Whore Recommendations, Via Twitter, During State Of The Union…
  in space no one can hear you spin

People Who Visit Bill O’Reilly’s Website Love Barack Obama So Much

Although, you can tell it’s probably more of an A-, which is essentially just a B+ that wept in the professor’s office after class. Also, it so good the poll is set against the background of outer space, because of the word “scientific.” [Fox News/A+ for tipster “Melissa P.’s” first year as President of the United States] Read more on People Who Visit Bill O’Reilly’s Website Love Barack Obama So Much…
  something to do with 9/11

Liz Cheney’s Torture-Mongering PowerPoint Is The Only 100% Anti-Terrorism Thing That Exists

Keep America Safe, Liz Cheney’s blood-thirsty web-only hobbyhorse, has this new ad criticizing Barack Obama for his gay marriage to due process. Obama “read the Christmas Day bomber his Miranda Rights… instead of interrogating him.” Also something about Eric Holder not disclosing the location of Ground Zero (?). Oh but can you guess which White House Flickr Feed Foto was artfully re-purposed (re: slightly blurred) for this thing? Read more on Liz Cheney’s Torture-Mongering PowerPoint Is The Only 100% Anti-Terrorism Thing That Exists…
  the quiet american

Samuel Alito’s Rebellion Is *So* Derivative

Samuel Alito was on his absolute worst behavior last night, mouthing “not true, not true” when Obama criticized last week’s Supreme Court decision to allow corporations to download elections and politicians from iTunes. Anyway, sad thing for many South Carolinans today, when they eventually find out they cannot elect Samuel Alito. [TPMtv] Read more on Samuel Alito’s Rebellion Is *So* Derivative…