Juli Weiner
Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.
Important Changes Regarding Your Wonkette: Bye And Thanks But Mostly Thanks!
Well hello! A brief note from your Tuesday and Thursday morning editor: Today is my final day at Wonkette, as starting on Monday I will be blogging for Vanity Fair‘s VF Daily blog, so please come hang out there, too. It’ll be just like old times! Thank you times a million to Ken, Jim, Sara, [...]
Apparently Iran Hates ‘Google Buzz’ More Than Just The Usual Amount That Everyone Else Does
The worst news for Iranians using Gmail in Iran: Iran has banned Gmail! Uh, and the country is trying to make up for it by inventing some national email thing that is decidedly not Gmail: “Iran’s telecommunications agency announced what it described as a permanent suspension of Google Inc.’s email services, saying instead that a [...]
One Of Jim Inhofe’s Malevolent Snowmen Wishes Global Warming Were Not A Scam But It Just Is
Here’s is a letter that was stuck to the side of the mailbag yesterday and has remained tragically unread, until now. It is signed “A Concerned Citizen” and its seriousness literally cannot be overstated. from: [redacted]@verizon.net to: tips@wonkette.com date: Wed, Feb 10, 2010 at 6:08 PM subject: Re: Gore’s Igloo…
All Anarchists Must Register With South Carolina’s Government, So As To Avoid Breaking The Law
It is now illegal in South Carolina to participate in a violent coup of the U.S. government without first registering one’s intent to do so, according to the “Subversive Activities Registration Act,” or “S.A.R.A. K SMITH.” It states: “Every member of a subversive organization … who advocates, teaches, advises or practices the duty, necessity or [...]
The Truth Will Set Blagojevich Free So Hard
Besides maybe—maybe—like, “swift-footed Odysseus,” has there ever been an epithet more memorable or enduring than “disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich”? D.F.I.G. Rod Blagojevich is pleading not guilty, baby, for the numerous felonies he was recorded committing and planning to commit. Yesterday in court, he said this: “I challenge the government, if you’re on the [...]
It’s Like Attention-Starved Iran Doesn’t Even Understand At ALL How Much It Snowed Here
Germany and France will help out Greece so it does not have to default on its debt, which it is apparently on the verge of doing (?). [New York Times] According to the impartial observer Iran, Iran has successfully enriched uranium. [Washington Post] It is also the anniversary of Iran’s 1979 revolution, and there just [...]
Atlanta Subway Headed Straight For All These Asians Is Called The ‘Yellow Line’
Atlanta’s public transportation system “MARTA” is in so much trouble today for being racist against Asians. See, the MARTA people, the Martians, renamed the train line that goes where all the Asian people live the “yellow line.” And “yellow,” everyone knows, is the worst Coldplay song ever invented. Everyone just hates it, including Asians.
Whatever You Are Thinking Right Now, It Counts As Making Fun Of Trig
Did you know there was a Rick Perry-Sarah Palin rally? Can you tell there was a Rick Perry-Sarah Palin rally?
One Of Eliot Spitzer’s Whores-By-Proxy, The Kristin One, Would Like To Be Governor Of New York Now Please
Oh lookee here: Eliot Spitzer’s whore thing Kristin Davis, his “Manhattan Madam,” has announced at some Libertarian convention (?) that she will be running for governor of New York. But woah, Albany insider gossip: this was Spitzer’s exact job in politics, running New York! It is nothing more than a classic tale of “switchsies”: the [...]
Zoom Function Is Rosetta Stone Of Sarah Palin’s Hand
Here is a close-up of Sarah Palin’s new temporary tattoo. It raises so many more questions than it answers, technically! The Huffington Post did an impression of journalism and has now bequeathed unto the world revelations about what specifically those words are, namely “Energy,” “Tax,” “Lift American Spirits,” and “Budget cuts.” This information will amass [...]
Whatever Washington D.C. Is Doing To Displease The Clouds So, Just Stop
Today Iran began enriching its uranium for what are definitely nuclear-type purposes. [New York Times] Joe Jackson, the alive father of the dead pop star Michael Jackson, believes his son was killed in a conspiracy, which is a thing that commonly happens. [CNN] Childhood obesity is Michelle Obama’s new thing, as obese children are the [...]
Additional California Senate Candidate Comes Out Against Sheep And Also Carly Fiorina
Enter: California senatorial candidate Chuck DeVore.
2:26: Never Forget
So it turns out Tom Campbell was what was behind the dumpster in Mulholland Drive. Anyway, you can blame your nightmares on tipster “John G.”
The Demon Sheep Video Is Confusing On This Entirely Different Level Now
Okay so a gloss to yesterday’s masterpiece: We can infer from this email that the control-group sheep, the ones with sheep’s eyes-colored eyes, those were “Carly Fiorina & Co.” stand-ins. (The same ones who were tricked by the child actor playing covert sheep devil Tom Campbell.) In other words, Carly Fiorina wants people to think [...]
Do Not Miss The Teevee Spinoff Of Meghan McCain’s Twitter
America’s #1 internationally famous web-only human being Meg McCabe will be hosting The View today, widely considered to be the Oscars and Grammys combined of February 4th. Anyone remember if this show is live? Anyone think Googling would be “worth it”? [Twitter]
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