Author Archives: Justin Peters

 

So Long, Suckers

You see what a week at Wonkette has done to me??? A week at Wonkette and 47 hamburgers??? Well, it’s been a fun week, but my fingers hurt, my eyes are bleary, and I can’t get “macaca” off my mind, no matter how hard I try. So, with no more photos to crop, papers to read, or Marines to mock, I’m throwing caution to the wind and cutting out early. Hey, just like I used to do at my last job! Read more on So Long, Suckers…
 

Ask A Candidate For Maryland’s Statehouse

With all the hoopla this week about campaign ethics, we thought it’d be an interesting feature to talk to an actual candidate about the mechanics of running a congressional campaign. We wanted to interview an experienced, savvy politician about running for office in the 21st century. Unfortunately, the only person who would talk to us was this guy: Meet Mike Monroe. He ran as a Republican for DC’s Congressional delegate’s seat in 2004, against Eleanor Holmes Norton. He got 9 percent of the vote. Now, older and possibly wiser, he’s running again, as a Republican candidate for Maryland’s General Assembly in District 16 (Bethesda). He was good enough to answer some questions about campaigning, campaigners, and Macaca. Interview after the jump. Read more on Ask A Candidate For Maryland’s Statehouse…
 

THE WAR’S AS GOOD AS WON!!!

Looks like that anti-suicide bomber PSA we posted about earlier is pumping up would-be suicide bombers all across the Middle East, not just in Iraq. From Rebecca Sinderbrand: So I just got back from a few weeks working in Syria… while I was there I saw this PSA every ten minutes or so; it was in heavy rotation on MBC, which means it’s showing pretty much everywhere in the Middle East, not just Iraq. (Don’t know if how familiar you are with MBC: it’s kind of like the Univision of the Arab world. A couple of Western imports, but mostly wacky sitcoms, overwrought documentaries, homegrown miniseries, that sort of thing.) There was also a second, similar PSA showing… no cute little boy in that one, so it wasn’t quite as gripping… Read more on THE WAR’S AS GOOD AS WON!!!…
 

The Passion Of Lincoln Chafee

And then there was Lincoln Chafee, The Reluctant Senator. From today’s Wall Street Journal: In many ways, Mr. Chafee’s struggle is of his own making. Besides opposing the war, he voted against some Bush tax cuts, citing deficit concerns. He opposed Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito’s appointment because he was convinced the jurist would be hostile to abortion rights. And he let it be known that he didn’t vote to re-elect the president, writing in former President George H. W. Bush instead. “I knew this was coming from way back,” says Mr. Chafee, at an outdoor festival in Cumberland. “The president’s agenda, for better or worse, motivates the party base. I’ve been hearing from them for the last five years.” To stem the damage, Mr. Chafee has been a regular at Republican spaghetti dinners and diner breakfasts. Even so, he isn’t “overly optimistic” that he has persuaded many of them, he says. Chafee is perhaps the senator least suited for Washington life since Eugene McCarthy skipped roll call votes to write poetry in his office. This from the New York Times last week: Compared with many colleagues in the Senate, Mr. Chafee, 53, keeps a low profile, and campaigning does not seem second nature to him. Stopping to buy lemonade from a truck, he asks the attendant about the book she is reading. Only after tipping her and turning away does he toss over his shoulder, “Vote Chafee!” Wonkette proudly presents the first installment of The Secret Lives Of Senators: Lincoln Chafee On The Campaign Trail. Read it after the jump: Read more on The Passion Of Lincoln Chafee…
 

Isn’t That Joe Pantoliano As “Bomb Victim #3″?

So diplomacy, force, or entreaties aren’t dissuading impressionable, hot-headed young Muslims from signing up as suicide bombers in Iraq. Maybe some Matrix-style bullet-time graphics will do the trick! Word is the Iraqi government spendt about a million dollars producing this anti-suicide bomber PSA. With that budget, they should have gone after Billy Zane, or at least Gary Busey: Read more on Isn’t That Joe Pantoliano As “Bomb Victim #3″?…
 

OPEN MESSAGE TO JIM WEBB JR.

Dear Jim Webb Jr., So we don’t have your email address. But, after reading this excerpt from your blog, we really, really, really want to get in touch with you: So, in closing continue to attack my charecter please. Because you know what? I don’t care, and besides the publicity is amazing. Who knows, maybe some good looking lady will send a picture to me and my platoon while we’re in Iraq. Read more on OPEN MESSAGE TO JIM WEBB JR….
 

Wonkette So Solly

So some people took exception to our post on Jim Webb Jr. yesterday, calling it “below the belt” to write about A candidate’s son A Marine A Democrat Like we said originally, we weren’t going after Jim Jr. so much as his hoary Charlie Chan routine. But don’t worry, guys: Dude can take care of himself. After all, he’s a Marine. A porno-loving, China-hating Marine. Check out excerpts from his response after the jump: Read more on Wonkette So Solly…
 

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

So you say the Democrats don’t have any passion? Guess you’ve been hanging out in the wrong districts, then. An intrepid reader reports on a full-fledged ruckus that broke out Wednesday night at a P.G. County congressional debate: Read more on Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign…
 

Yeah, We’ve Been Wondering That Too

If he really wants to know, he should have talked to us, ’cause we know all about low standards here. Bad Photoshop, poorly-sourced items, making fun of Marines, ass-fucking — it’s the Wonkette way! Read more on Yeah, We’ve Been Wondering That Too…
 

Blogging Won’t Save Your Presidential Ambitions

So The Man Who Won’t Be President (TMWWBP) wants to tell his side of the macaca story, and what better way to reach out to the the Internet’s aghast citizenry than a blog? It’s good to see that the tradition of starting fake blogs for public figures continues apace: Read more on Blogging Won’t Save Your Presidential Ambitions…
 

We’re Whalers On The Moon, We Carry A Harpoon

Soon there’ll be nothing left at Cape Canaveral but three mechanical engineers, the decaying corpse of Alan Shepard, and some jerry-rigged TI-82 graphing calculators: Three NASA advisers who spoke out against budget cuts to the space agency’s science programs turned in their resignations this week, officials said Thursday…. Levy, a professor of physics and astronomy who also is provost at Rice University in Houston, said their commitment to a broad science program at NASA “didn’t comport with the kind of advice that the administrator and the chairman of the committee were looking for.” Read more on We’re Whalers On The Moon, We Carry A Harpoon…
 

Mrs. Duke-Stir Dishes Dirt

So Kitty Kelley’s dishy tell-all with Duke Cunningham’s wife in The New Republic is something. First, The New Republic? What, Commentary wasn’t buying? Yeah, when we think gossip, we think “pedantic, robotically contrarian Israel apologists.” Second, Duke Cunningham’s a jackass, but we hesitate before lending too much credence to the machinations of his bitter, somewhat crazy might-soon-be-ex-wife (like a character in a Jane Austen novel, she calls him “Mr. Cunningham”. Also like a character in a Jane Austen novel, she steals bread from restaurants.). Come on, didn’t you see My Super Ex-Girlfriend? Jilted ladies can Start. A. Ruckus. Read more on Mrs. Duke-Stir Dishes Dirt…
 

Gossip Roundup: Condi’s Night Out

Cindy Adams: Foreign policy rockstar Condoleezza Rice demands hotel close down a dining room so her party of three can dine without being interrupted by the proletariat. Also, I SAID NO GREEN M&Ms!!!! [NYP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Condi’s Night Out…
 

Daily Briefing: All Tapped Out

A federal judge invalidates the administration’s warrantless wiretapping program, saying it “blatantly disregard the parameters clearly enumerated in the Bill of Rights.” Oh, burn! [NYT, WP] Elsewhere in the federal judiciary, smoking causes cancer (and cigarette companies knew it). So long, “low tar” cigs. [WP, WSJ] Read more on Daily Briefing: All Tapped Out…
 

2000 Bored Office Workers Can’t Be Wrong

The voters have spoken: Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser. “The Man Who Won’t Be President” it is. Not the most euphonious nickname, but, then again, neither is “Macaca.” Read more on 2000 Bored Office Workers Can’t Be Wrong…
 

The Nanny Patrol?

The Washington Times‘ Jerry Seper reports on Keystone Kops antics at the U.S.-Mexico border: Several veteran Border Patrol agents in Arizona told The Washington Times they were issued standing orders to be within five minutes of National Guard troops along the border and that Border Patrol units were pulled from other regions to protect the Guard units — leaving their own areas short-handed. Read more on The Nanny Patrol?…
 

Racism Week At Wonkette Rolls On

So turns out that George Allen’s not the only casually ignorant fella involved in the Virginia senate race. Meet Jim Webb Jr., Democratic candidate Jim Webb’s son. He’s a Marine. He’s 24. He likes hideous MySpace skins. He also likes porn: Read more on Racism Week At Wonkette Rolls On…
 

Along With George Allen’s Presidential Ambitions, Taste and Humor Are Also Causalties of Macacagate

Four days in, and what hath Macacagate wrought? The end of George Allen’s presidential ambitions. A week’s worth of material for us (thanks, George!). A shitload of bad Internet art. Please, people, if you ain’t got the skills to pay the bills, then stop writing bad checks. Or at least stop sending them to us. A rundown of some of the bad macaca-themed art we’ve received this week, after the jump. Read more on Along With George Allen’s Presidential Ambitions, Taste and Humor Are Also Causalties of Macacagate…
 

With Friends Like These…

You hear the one about the senator and the career-killing remark? Boy, George Allen must have eaten John McCain’s lunch out of the Senate refrigerator or something. Or maybe McCain is just an ass. Yeah, that’s probably it. McCain cracked wise at an Allen rally in Norfolk yesterday: Read more on With Friends Like These……
 

M.A.D.D. Has Lost Its Way

The killjoys at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration have unveiled their largest anti-drunk driving campaign ever, kicking it off with a sure-to-be-effective ad campaign: The advertisements, in English and Spanish, show men being pulled over as they sit chest-deep in beer, wine or liquor with cocktail olives floating in it. Read more on M.A.D.D. Has Lost Its Way…
 

And All Irishmen Are Bulbous, Red-Nosed Blowhards

More than anything, Bill O’Reilly thinks that TSA screeners need the gift of Secret Sight: So all young Muslims should be subjected to more scrutiny than Granny…. Passengers who are Muslims ages 16 to 45 all should be spoken with. And if the ACLU doesn’t like it, tough. This isn’t racial profiling. This is criminal profiling. Read more on And All Irishmen Are Bulbous, Red-Nosed Blowhards…