Author Archives: John Clarke Jr.

 

Things That Never Change

* Hey, how about instead of the CIA being accountable they just do whatever the fuck they want? [NYT] * Barry Obama and Oprah are doing some serious hanging out. [Politico] Read more on Things That Never Change…
 

Two Republican Congresswomen Resign From Board

Reps. Ginny Brown-Waite and Shelley Moore Capito have resigned from the House Page board stating that the House clerk failed to alert them of two incidents involving their pages charged with shoplifting and improper sexual conduct. Read more on Two Republican Congresswomen Resign From Board…
 

The AOF Circle of Life

Ask and ye shall receive. Thanks to a tipster, we have a new diagram that explains how this AOF tomfoolery works and its place in life. It’s a work in progress, but it helps clueless outsiders better understand the various cliques and how they relate. “For the most part, they’re a decent group of guys,” said one Hill staffer of the Axis, as we now call them. “The problem is that in the group, there’s a couple really nasty douchebags.” Read more on The AOF Circle of Life…
 

Hey Mitt, Put The Needle On The Record!

So, now that old boss man Mitt has given his best JFK impersonation (complete with a Poppy Bush intro!), the pundits are swirling about. Go ahead and listen to Tucker’s take on Mitt, or check out what real life Park City, Utah locals are saying in Romney’s own backyard. Wonkette’s Rocky Mountain correspondent Breaux Murphy took to the snowy streets, busy kitchens and drunken bars to find out. (Full disclosure: your lovably surly editor lived among this wildlife for many years, getting very little sleep). Lee Jenson starts off the dialogue. And now, let my people speak!galleryPost('parkcityonromney', 3, 'Park City Discusses Mitt Romney'); Read more on Hey Mitt, Put The Needle On The Record!…
 

Mary Carey: Buy My Tits!

Ever think about waking up next to Mary Carey tits every morning? To spoon and cup them gently from behind? To hit that snooze button a few times and sleep in? Well, now you can. Sort of. The top-heavy porn star, who ran for governor of California against Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2003, is auctioning off her breast implants on eBay to benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation. By post time, the highest bid was $6,400. Read more on Mary Carey: Buy My Tits!…
 

Axis Beaches!

We just received a host of lovely pictures from a dedicated commenter. Like Axis of Fun, Wonkette is everywhere! But we can’t tell where one of these groups begins and the other begins! There is definite overlapping. So fun! There’s kickball, The Plastics… we are so confused. Is there, like, a diagram out there to make sense of it all? No? Okay. Well, we’re told that the above picture is the AOF beach chairs before they went pink. Awesome. Read more on Axis Beaches!…
 

Grace Babies Unveiled, No Fangs

CNN’s Nancy Grace has brought home her babies and US Weekly hates us so much they’ve plastered the Grace spawns in a big spread. She returns to CNN January 7. Great. Nancy Grace’s Twins! [US Weekly] Read more on Grace Babies Unveiled, No Fangs…
 

Rove Book May Snag $3 Million

How much is the final payout for being one of the most despised men in the Bush White House? Around $3 million. The bidding for former White House senior advisor Karl Rove’s memoirs kicks off today. “It will sell for millions, but how many millions is the question,” one potential publisher said. Read more on Rove Book May Snag $3 Million…
 

Clinton Staffer Resigns Over Smear E-mail

Judy Rose, a volunteer Iowa coordinator for Hillary Clinton’s campaign, has resigned after sending out an e-mail suggesting Barack Obama is a Muslim out to destroy the United States. “Let us all remain alert concerning Obama’s expected presidential candidacy,” reads the e-mail. Read more on Clinton Staffer Resigns Over Smear E-mail…
 

Huckabeen There, Done That

* Huckabee got game. [NYT, WT] * If there’s one thing I don’t want President Chim Chim fucking around with, it’s our mortgage. [WP, WSJ] * The Senate passes gas, may the world take notice. [NYT] Read more on Huckabeen There, Done That…
 

Updated: Mike McHaney Held

Mike McHaney was ordered held without bond following a brief hearing Wednesday afternoon in federal court. Dressed in an orange jumpsuit and blue jacket, McHaney responded “Yes, sir,” when questioned by Magistrate Judge John Facciola. Read more on Updated: Mike McHaney Held…
 

Shhhh… Axis Is Listening

With their frosted highlights, shiny faces and blinding white smiles, the Axis of Fun have infiltrated the highest offices of our nation’s capital. And good for them! We wanted to learn more about this group of prancing, preening, fun-loving Twinks. We asked around (thanks everybody!), and the overwhelming consensus was that this is indeed an organized group celebrating many forms of douchebaggery. But some people had nice things to say, like the woman who wrote a heartfelt note telling us when she was new to town, the AOF took her in like a cold, hungry, wet-eyed orphan. And she was, you know, a she! So maybe they’re not totally bad. Read more on Shhhh… Axis Is Listening…
 

¿Como Se Dice, ‘Retard’?

* Hillary has secret information confirming that Barack Obama is indeed a Islamofascist. [Election Central] * Bush pretends he’s Alan Greenspan. [Michelle Malkin] * Some leading idiots think that Iraq has made the US intel community too timid, if by timid they mean not all in hurry to invade a country for no reason. [Raw Story] * The Supreme Court is hearing the detainee rights thing again and the poor, beleaguered sane bloc will lose out to the raving asshole bloc another round. [Swamp] * Hey, look who’s harping on this pre-Christmas-federal-shutdown bullshit again! [Redstate] * Mexicans imperil US roads and therefore should be killed. [WorldNet Daily] * But, aw, look, Lou Dobbs loves them after all. [Fresh Intelligence] Read more on ¿Como Se Dice, ‘Retard’?…
 

The Very Mysterious Machinations of Mike McHaney

As Mike McHaney heads to his court hearing today, friends and acquaintances of the disgraced staffer for Sen. Maria Cantwell are coming forward to speak about his history of odd behavior. By now we’ve heard a few more things. According to those who know him, he got his start in politics doing advance work for Bill Clinton’s campaign (his parents, who live in Little Rock, Arkansas, are allegedly friends with the Clintons). Two people that have worked with McHaney have contacted Wonkette, and have allowed us to tell their stories on the condition we not use their names. The first source worked with McHaney on several campaigns. “I knew him well and was around him a lot. He was very shady.” Read more on The Very Mysterious Machinations of Mike McHaney…
 

Ron Brownstein: Be My Friend!

newVideoPlayer("brownstein2.flv", 475, 376); Vaguely patriotic hats, the Internets, men white coats? That’s how Washington does book parties. Our video producer, the indomitable Liz Glover, reports from Browntsein’s book party last night at The Watergate. The martinis were good. Read more on Ron Brownstein: Be My Friend!…