Author Archives: John Clarke Jr.

 

Axis Beaches!

We just received a host of lovely pictures from a dedicated commenter. Like Axis of Fun, Wonkette is everywhere! But we can’t tell where one of these groups begins and the other begins! There is definite overlapping. So fun! There’s kickball, The Plastics… we are so confused. Is there, like, a diagram out there to make sense of it all? No? Okay. Well, we’re told that the above picture is the AOF beach chairs before they went pink. Awesome. Read more on Axis Beaches!…
 

Grace Babies Unveiled, No Fangs

CNN’s Nancy Grace has brought home her babies and US Weekly hates us so much they’ve plastered the Grace spawns in a big spread. She returns to CNN January 7. Great. Nancy Grace’s Twins! [US Weekly] Read more on Grace Babies Unveiled, No Fangs…
 

Rove Book May Snag $3 Million

How much is the final payout for being one of the most despised men in the Bush White House? Around $3 million. The bidding for former White House senior advisor Karl Rove’s memoirs kicks off today. “It will sell for millions, but how many millions is the question,” one potential publisher said. Read more on Rove Book May Snag $3 Million…
 

Clinton Staffer Resigns Over Smear E-mail

Judy Rose, a volunteer Iowa coordinator for Hillary Clinton’s campaign, has resigned after sending out an e-mail suggesting Barack Obama is a Muslim out to destroy the United States. “Let us all remain alert concerning Obama’s expected presidential candidacy,” reads the e-mail. Read more on Clinton Staffer Resigns Over Smear E-mail…
 

Huckabeen There, Done That

* Huckabee got game. [NYT, WT] * If there’s one thing I don’t want President Chim Chim fucking around with, it’s our mortgage. [WP, WSJ] * The Senate passes gas, may the world take notice. [NYT] Read more on Huckabeen There, Done That…
 

Updated: Mike McHaney Held

Mike McHaney was ordered held without bond following a brief hearing Wednesday afternoon in federal court. Dressed in an orange jumpsuit and blue jacket, McHaney responded “Yes, sir,” when questioned by Magistrate Judge John Facciola. Read more on Updated: Mike McHaney Held…
 

Shhhh… Axis Is Listening

With their frosted highlights, shiny faces and blinding white smiles, the Axis of Fun have infiltrated the highest offices of our nation’s capital. And good for them! We wanted to learn more about this group of prancing, preening, fun-loving Twinks. We asked around (thanks everybody!), and the overwhelming consensus was that this is indeed an organized group celebrating many forms of douchebaggery. But some people had nice things to say, like the woman who wrote a heartfelt note telling us when she was new to town, the AOF took her in like a cold, hungry, wet-eyed orphan. And she was, you know, a she! So maybe they’re not totally bad. Read more on Shhhh… Axis Is Listening…
 

¿Como Se Dice, ‘Retard’?

* Hillary has secret information confirming that Barack Obama is indeed a Islamofascist. [Election Central] * Bush pretends he’s Alan Greenspan. [Michelle Malkin] * Some leading idiots think that Iraq has made the US intel community too timid, if by timid they mean not all in hurry to invade a country for no reason. [Raw Story] * The Supreme Court is hearing the detainee rights thing again and the poor, beleaguered sane bloc will lose out to the raving asshole bloc another round. [Swamp] * Hey, look who’s harping on this pre-Christmas-federal-shutdown bullshit again! [Redstate] * Mexicans imperil US roads and therefore should be killed. [WorldNet Daily] * But, aw, look, Lou Dobbs loves them after all. [Fresh Intelligence] Read more on ¿Como Se Dice, ‘Retard’?…
 

The Very Mysterious Machinations of Mike McHaney

As Mike McHaney heads to his court hearing today, friends and acquaintances of the disgraced staffer for Sen. Maria Cantwell are coming forward to speak about his history of odd behavior. By now we’ve heard a few more things. According to those who know him, he got his start in politics doing advance work for Bill Clinton’s campaign (his parents, who live in Little Rock, Arkansas, are allegedly friends with the Clintons). Two people that have worked with McHaney have contacted Wonkette, and have allowed us to tell their stories on the condition we not use their names. The first source worked with McHaney on several campaigns. “I knew him well and was around him a lot. He was very shady.” Read more on The Very Mysterious Machinations of Mike McHaney…
 

Ron Brownstein: Be My Friend!

newVideoPlayer("brownstein2.flv", 475, 376); Vaguely patriotic hats, the Internets, men white coats? That’s how Washington does book parties. Our video producer, the indomitable Liz Glover, reports from Browntsein’s book party last night at The Watergate. The martinis were good. Read more on Ron Brownstein: Be My Friend!…
 

Huckabee Is So GQ!

GQ’s January interview with Mike Huckabee starts off like this: “There is a reason Mike Huckabee is standing out in a crowded and dull Republican field.” Wait. Stop. I know the answer. Because he’s fucking nuts?! Ok, so there’s more to his campaign than sheer nuttery, which is why this Q&A is fascinating in a laboratory study kind of way. The entire interview after the jump. It’s long, but sooo worth it. Read more on Huckabee Is So GQ!…
 

Marble Mouth Mitt Dodges Faith Questions

We’re sort of loving our old Winter Olympics boss getting dodgy over a very fair and simple question: How does the Mormon faith differ from others? WCVB‘s Natalie Jacobson tried her best to pin him down, but Mitt throws it to the Internets. Watch Mitt muttering and stuttering. It’s been bad since he started stammering at the Republican debate. But this is ridiculous. This is what fear looks like. [YouTube] Read more on Marble Mouth Mitt Dodges Faith Questions…
 

Axis of Fun Celebrates Christmas!

Wonkette thanks the tipsters who sent us an invite to the Axis of Fun 2nd Annual Janky Christmas Sweater Festival of Lights! The group, which lists alleged kiddie sex predator and former Senate staffer Mike McHaney among its members, is an exclusive, catty, gay social group that apparently gets together to quote Mean Girls (some call themselves The Plastics!), takes over Reboboth with monogrammed beach chairs, and pursues all sort of self-aware douchebaggery. And yes, they even have Republicans! In other words, according to many, the group is not very well-liked. The invite, after the jump, has Axis of Fun’s own version of Jingle Bells! Read more on Axis of Fun Celebrates Christmas!…
 

Hanukah in Tehran

* It’s possible that previous intelligence assessments on Iran were “thinly sourced.” [NYT] * The Jews don’t believe it. [WT] * Lessons of Iraq helped intel on Iran, as in, they read the fucking reports this time. [WP Read more on Hanukah in Tehran…
 

Mike McHaney’s Axis of Fun

Former Senate staffer Mike McHaney, who’a arrest Wonkette reported yesterday, belonged to an informal gay social group known as the Axis of Fun. The group, a source tells us, is not very well-liked. “They think they are the big shots within the gay community around DC and play kickball together and canoodle around Rehobeth.” Read more on Mike McHaney’s Axis of Fun…
 

2000 Election: The Sickness

George Bush loves to campaign. He enjoys the crowd, the noise, and the competition. Flying with CNN’s Candy Crowley? Not so much. Apparently The Crowls gave Bush — and half the press corps — some weird respiratory virus in 2000. And this explains so much. [HuffPo] Read more on 2000 Election: The Sickness…
 

Ron Paul: Live on The View!

newVideoPlayer("Ron_Paul_The_View.flv", 475, 376); We were only waiting for this moment to arrive. And finally, here it is: Ron Paul made an appearance this Today on The View! Paul, the first Republican to do the show, is breaking ranks from other presidential contenders and their wives who have supported the writer’s strike. See Whoopi hold herself back from pouncing on Paul’s ass! Listen to Joy take Paul to task on Roe v. Wade! Listen as Ron Paul himself say he will not kill babies in his house! Watch Kate Walsh sit and look pretty (sigh). Read more on Ron Paul: Live on The View!…
 

Larry Craig To Explore Balinese Bathrooms

Wonkette’s own Peter Huestis — the indomitable Princess Sparkle Pony — has noted that Larry Craig is leaving the country and heading to Bali. “Apparently it’s an island where ALL the gay men are expected to have wives,” says Huestis. “Neat!” His gay guide to Bali, after the jump! Read more on Larry Craig To Explore Balinese Bathrooms…
 

Are you there God? It’s Me, Fred

Fred Thompson gets religion. He just doesn’t like to get preachy on the trail. And he kind of thinks that’s just fine with God. “As far as faith is concerned, I have not made any secret as to where I am. I am a Christian,” Thompson told CNN, noting that he hits church every time he visits his mamma in Tennessee. “I have no apologies to make about my religion or my relationship to Jesus Christ or God.” Read more on Are you there God? It’s Me, Fred…
 

McHaney Held Without Bail

Sen. Maria Cantwell staffer Mike McHaney, who Wonkette reported yesterday was arrested for soliciting sex with an underage boy, appeared in federal court Saturday and is being held without bail pending a court hearing. Before joining Cantwell’s office, McHaney worked for Sen. John Kerry’s 2004 presidential bid and as was an aide to Rep. Dick Gephardt. According to McHaney’s Facebook page (login needed), he is originally from Little Rock, Arkansas and his interests include cooking, going out, drinking, politics, techno and trance. Court documents after the jump. Read more on McHaney Held Without Bail…
 

MittSpeak

* Sanity rears its long unseen head, but who are we kidding. [NYT, WP] * Mitt “I Believe the Bible is the Word of God, the Bible is the Word of God” Romney may or may not address his crazy cult affiliation in a speech this week. [LAT] Read more on MittSpeak…
 

Sen. Maria Cantwell: No Tolerance For Sex Predators

Sen. Maria Cantwell’s chief of staff, Michael Meehan, has issued a statement regarding Mike McHaney’s Friday arrest for soliciting sex with an underage boy, previously reported by Wonkette: “Late Friday afternoon the FBI informed our office that a Senate employee was arrested. The employee was immediately fired. Our office has and will continue to fully cooperate with the ongoing federal criminal investigation. Senator Cantwell has zero tolerance for crimes against children,” Meehan said. Court documents after the jump. Read more on Sen. Maria Cantwell: No Tolerance For Sex Predators…